What is Handfasting?

Handfasting is an ancient commitment ceremony. It is the predecessor to the modern wedding ceremony. In all countries, save for Scotland, this practice is not a legal marriage contract on its own, which is why it is commonly incorporated into a civil ceremony.  The ritual itself usually includes a binding together of the hands of the couple with cords, hence the name, which means “hand fastening.” It is also the origin of the slang phrase “to tie the knot.” Handfasting is a symbolic ceremony to honor a couple’s desire for commitment to each other; to acknowledge that their lives and their fates are now bound together. In the days of old, this ceremony gave the choice to the couple to be bound in marriage for a year and a day trial (after which they could return to make their vows permanent), for their lifetimes, or for all eternity. Although Handfasting has widely been accepted and typically known as a neo-pagan marriage ritual, this ceremony is fit for any couple who wish for a non-denominational service that incorporates all positive and beneficial aspects of the world’s religions and a sense of family and community involvement. This is why you will see many parts of our ceremony that are familiar to you (may you be a Christian, Muslim or unnamed-Faith), and some that are not. We will try our best to explain the meaning behind aspects of the ceremony that may be unfamiliar to you, so that you can better understand what this union means to us. Much of what is choose to be included in a ceremony has rich historical and cultural means which have slowly become associated with religious and spiritual practices. We believe that wisdom from experience and involvement from both family and community contribute foundations for a strong marriage, and we merrily invite you to participate and take an active part in the planning and carrying out of the ceremony (which we will outline within this program).    

Symbolism You will see in the Ceremony:

Ringing of a Bell: Ringing a bell three times is done to honour those who close to us that have passed on but are joining us in spirit. Ringing a bell less or more than three times is done to call all that are present to attention. Some times you will see or hear drummer or piper doing similar sign to get the crowd focused on what is being said.

Lighting of Candles: To honour our ancestors and the divine.

Sharing of Wine (“Ale”): Sharing of spirit and of life-all that is emotionally built during our lifetimes (be it inner strength or possessing the ability to comfort another). In this ceremony Ale served in a cup, represents the giving nature of Mother earth.

Sharing of Bread (“Cakes”): Sharing of physical assets-all that we have tangibly built during our lifetimes (be it money, objects, or rearing of children). In this ceremony, the bread represents the giving nature of our Father.

Corded Bread: The cords are traditionally baked into the bread to form a bond between the couple and the community which they will share it with.

Exchange of Rings: Rings are a tangible reminder of the vows we share today and the commitment we make to each other.

Knotting of the cords: The cords that are placed over our wrists are now tied into a knot to symbolise that we bound physically and spiritually in this marriage. If we should part, these ties still bind us not only to each other's families but also to the moments we create together, and these connections cannot be undone easily.

Jumping over the Broom: In some regions of the world in the days of old, jumping over a broom was an announcement of marriage in itself. It can symbolise the leaving behind of old “baggage”, the sweeping away of old hurts, or could be likened to the stress-relieving act in the Jewish custom of stomping on a wine glass which signals ceremony completion.

The Throwing of Bread: It is customary in a handfasting ceremony to “shower” (technically it is a good-natured throw) the bride and groom with remnants of uneaten bread to celebrate the couple’s first kiss and to bring about fruitful and long life.

Flower Offering: Flowers are offered to the bride and groom when met in the receiving line-to bring beauty and the appreciation of even the smallest treasures to their lives. Often this trove is latter thrown away for good luck ... (well we know where that leads to) 

Ceremony Outline:

Sweeping of the Aisle-to remove any physical or emotional obstacles in the couple’s way

Handfaster’s Welcome and Introduction to the Wedding Party

Procession and giving away of the bride

Ringing of the Bell

The Lighting of Candles honouring of the spirit

Handfaster’s Prayer and Message

Sharing of Wine-Not really wine, it is cranberry ginger ale <often incorporated with the vows or declaration of ones love from the Lady>

Blessing, Breaking, and Sharing of Bread <often the declaration ask for the lady's hand>

Announcement of the Couple to be wed words form the gathered to the union

Exchange of Vows and Rings <usual male first>

Tying of Cords

Signing of Paperwork-< Maid and Best man pass round Sharing of Wine and Bread with everyone>

Jumping over the Broom/kissing the bride

Announcement of the New Couple

Assault of Bread

Everyone forms a circle around the perimeter of chairs for the Handfaster’s Final Words-or gather in a receiving line

Everyone may stamp their feet or scuff the floor, and repeat: “So Mote it be!”

Our thanks to Erin & Wade Barnes <fasted March 22-2008> for sharing their program outline and write the majority of this brief article.

See also Handfasting from Oral understanding to Practice