Words of Wisdom #152

You know a movie is being slightly over-hyped when it claims that it will "change the way you experience movies."

If your favourite Slurpee flavour appears to have disappeared, have no fear...it will return.

HOWEVER...if that Slurpee flavour happens to be Coke, it's perfectly fine to boycott Slurpees for awhile. Or a few months. Yeah.

A cake made out of ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable replacement to a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.

If you start playing Jeopardy at parties, your guests will DEMAND more Jeopardy. It will be your curse.

It's perfectly fine to be addicted to dance-related TV shows.

You know the weather is getting warmer when there are more pedestrians walking around, just begging to be hit by cars..

Everyone should know this: Canadian history sucks. It's boring. Did I mention it sucks?

If you can't do basic tasks on a computer, do NOT sign up for an online course.

If you're making a caesar salad, make sure you have croutons! Otherwise, you're just eating lettuce with dressing. No good.

When it's hot, make sure you know whether or not your pet is breathing if they're sacked out on the floor, motionless.

If your face feels like it's on fire, don't fret, your skin is just dry. Moisturize?

Beware: There is crack in McDonald's ice cream. I'm just saying..

The joys of layered hair mean you must use a bagillion barrettes to keep it out of your face when you pull it up, but the shorter
pieces still manage to escape and tickle you. D'oh!

Songs about girls kissing other girls are pretty catchy.

Be aware of crazy magazine subscribers--they will attempt to f*&% your sh!# up if their magazine is nowhere to be found.
Or they'll just call you and idiot. Yikes..

Anticipate alleviating boredom on a long drive by making lists of random things you see on the freeway, like the number of times
you come across roadkill or see a McDonald's in plain view. Hmm, roadkill? McDonald's? Relation??

Spot Shot takes kitty puke out of carpets like MAGIC.

It's perfectly fine to make a sandwich at 10am and again at 12am (or whenever you go to bed).

It's okay to cry for the vast amount of money you had to use up in your bank account, but don't fret--those tears will soon turn into
ones of joy once you get paid. Woo!