IN THIS ISSUE:

• Margaret Manning finishes her tour of rural Victoria in Australia
• Kate Brookfield sends a story about things and people worth keeping
• Carol Shoemaker forwards children's thoughts about mothers
• Nevil Horsfall posts a suggestion for making a good disinfectant
• Tom Williamson illustrates the different values involved in relativity
• Keith Elliott's story is about a man who refused to be parted from his friend

Margaret Manning concludes her story of their festive season visit to Victoria, Australia:

FROM INLAND TO THE COAST

Horsham is another town we liked very much. It is a service town for a large rural area, is handy to the Grampian mountain range, on a main route to the Murray Outback, and not so far from the coast. We were there a couple of days and enjoyed the pool at the motel - a really good place for the low cost. Being on the edge of the Grampians, the road south was quite scenic. We travelled on it early in the day to avoid the heat, and saw many colourful birds by the edge of the road, and several kangaroos, both live and dead.

A cafe owner at Hamilton, who seemed surprised to have customers at such an early hour, made us very welcome. We are always starters for a coffee and a fattening cake of some sort and had the pick of his selection. Then on to Portland, which we found very busy on New Years' Eve. We enjoyed a lengthy walk along the beautiful waterfront but this town seemed a bit rough for our tender tastes.

The 1st and 2nd January are traditionally the busiest days of the year along the coast road, and 1998 was no exception. Warnabool was buzzing with young people. This town has a huge surfing beach and lots of activities for the younger set. Then on to Port Fairy, more of a place for the older set. As well as the beach, there is a marina. But the main appeal for oldies is in the historic buildings. This town has around fifty buildings listed as being of historic interest. They are quite spread out for a single walk but can be seen without too much difficulty when the walks are spread out.

A bit further on and as we came round a corner we were completely staggered by the spectacular sight of the Bay of Islands - the western-most of the many coastal attractions along the Great Ocean Road. We stayed overnight in a very old motel at Peterborough - but the stunning views made up for that. Next day we took our time driving through to Geelong. This road, past the Twelve Apostles, London Bridge and other natural rock formations created by the sea over thousands of years, must surely rate as one of the world's great drives. And there's also the inland bit of the road, through dense forests.

The road is quite narrow and windy, and was very busy. Appollo Bay and Lorne were too crowded for us. So by the time we reached Geelong, we didn't really care what the motel was like.

Geelong is an industrial city but quite an attractive one with several parks and a nice waterfront for long walks. After that we had to return to Melbourne and come home. It was a pretty good way to spend Christmas and New Year after all.

Kate Brookfield forwarded this one:

A KEEPER

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents - a mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the other.

It was the time for fixing things - a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any 'more.'

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So while we have it, it's best we love it, and care for it, and fix it when it's broken, and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage, and old cars, and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away, or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special...and so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper' so I've sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to those people who are "keepers" in your life.

Carol Shoemaker sends these interesting answers given by school-age children to the question

WHY DID GOD MAKE MOTHERS?

1.-She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.-Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
3.-Mostly to clean the house.
4.-To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1.- He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2.- Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.- God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1.- We're related.
2.- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1.- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.- They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1.- My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.- I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.- They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?

1.- Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1.- His last name.
2.- She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1.- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2.- She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.- My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?

1.- It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?

1.- Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.
2.- Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3.- I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1.- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2.- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.- Dads are taller and stronger, but mom is the real boss 'cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1.- Mothers don't have that.
2.- She pays bills all day long.

Nevil Horsfall posted this suggestion. He received it from his daughter, who has a degree in biology and is a consultant to pharmaceutical companies. As she thinks this is a good idea, it probably is!

VINEGAR AND HYDROGEN PEROXIDE AS DISINFECTANTS

You can make your kitchen a cleaner, safer place and fight bacteria, without exposing yourself and your family to toxic chemicals that also damage the environment. You can use a simple safe disinfecting spray that is more effective than any of the commercial cleaners in killing bacteria. As a bonus, it is inexpensive.

Susan Sumner, a food scientist at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, worked out the recipe for just such a sanitizing combo. All you need is three percent hydrogen peroxide, the same strength available at the drug store for gargling or disinfecting wounds, and plain white or apple cidar vinegar, and a pair of brand new clean sprayers, like the kind you use to dampen laundry before ironing. If you're cleaning vegetables or fruit, just spritz them well first with both the vinegar and the hydrogen peroxide, and then rinse them off under running water.

It doesn't matter which you use first - you can spray with the vinegar then the hydrogen peroxide, or with the hydrogen peroxide followed by the vinegar. You won't get any lingering taste of vinegar or hydrogen peroxide, and neither is toxic to you if a small amount remains on the produce. As a bonus: The paired sprays work exceptionally well in sanitizing counters and other food preparation surfaces - including wood cutting boards.

In tests run at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, pairing the two mists killed virtually all Salmonella, Shigella, or E. coli bacteria on heavily contaminated food and surfaces when used in this fashion, making this spray combination more effective at killing these potentially lethal bacteria than chlorine bleach or any commercially available kitchen cleaner.

The best results came from using one mist right after the other - it is 10 times more effective than using either spray by itself and more effective than mixing the vinegar and hydrogen peroxide in one sprayer.

Tom Williamson forwarded this thoughtful piece on

RELATIVITY

There is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out ALL OF IT, of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the ! value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of one second, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have, And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

Time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

Keith Elliott sends this story:

REMEMBERING A FRIEND

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight broke it. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets or animals."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, under a shady tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

PROFOUND STATEMENTS

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall". (Eleanor Roosevelt)

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and having the two as close together as possible. (George Burns)

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. (Victor Borge)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. (Mark Twain)

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. (Les Dawson)

By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (Groucho Marx)

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. (Charlotte Whitton)

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe. (Jimmy Durante)

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. (Jilly Cooper)

I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. (Zsa Zsa Gabor)

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. (Alex Levine)

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Mark Twain)

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. (Ed Furgol)

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. (Spike Milligan)

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. (Mark Twain)

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' (Joe Namath)

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. (George Burns)

At my age, flowers scare me. (George Burns)

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. (Herbert Henry Asquith)

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. (Lucille Ball)

I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. (Bob Hope)

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. (W.C. Fields)

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (George Burns)

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. (Woody Allen)

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.... (Woody Allen)

If only God would give me some sign...a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. (Selections from the Allen Notebooks, New Yorker)

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy, your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. (Woody Allen)

If you want to make GOD Laugh, tell him your future plans. (Woody Allen)

Those are my principles, if you don't like them...I have others. (Groucho Marx)

Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. (Mark Twain)

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

- Ashleigh Brilliant