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Vol. IX, No. 46 November 15, 2003 IN THIS ISSUE:
 Margaret Manning begins a series on articles on THE BLACK STUMP I gathered a great deal of information about Northland beaches when we had our grocery store and promised myself I'd write a travel book called North of the Black Stump. Well, I did write up the yarns I was told about various places and the initial manuscript was very well received by a N.Z. publishing house. However, they wanted a larger area covered for wider appeal. That's when I got stuck as I didn't have such in-depth knowledge of the coastal region south of the black stump. So it's sat idle for 20 years until now. Although some of the places are now not so "remote" (whatever that means), the anecdotes and general history remain the same. I have shortened my original text but have also added a bit of new material. KARIKARI PENINSULA You have to detour off highway 10 to find the Karikari Peninsula. Evidence of long time Maori occupation in the form of canoes and moa bones has been found in the dried out swamps. Remnants of a kauri forest remain at Lake Ohia. From the road this looks like desolate manuka-covered land and visitors must wonder what there is to see. The 30000-year-old kauri stumps scattering the lake bed take on weird shapes resembling a wilderness setting for a movie. Perhaps this area, too, would have been useful in the filming of the LOTR trilogy. Families prospecting for kauri gum lived here in their hundreds during the height of the gumdigging era. As with the gumfields further north, the workers were mostly of Croation and Maori background. The word "Kari" means dig, which indicates that the people who lived there hundreds of years ago were well aware of kauri gum. Tokerau Beach is on the eastern side of the peninsula. There are several Maori legends surrounding this wonderful stretch of clean golden sand. The one I recorded concerned a tribe who lived at the southern end. They wanted to conquer the tribe settled round the headland 17 km. north at a place called Whatuwhiwhi. After praying for assistance, a chief and 99 men were turned into worms. They were able to burrow under the sand to reach Whatuwhiwhi, where they regained their human form and conquered the villagers. It's not that long ago when the only access to Whatuwhiwhi was still via Tokerau Beach, and thus only at low tide. Tokerau Beach is very popular for residential and vacation use. It is considered safe for swimming, boats can be launched, and surfcasting often brings its own rewards. Juicy scallops are often washed up after easterly winds and sometimes unusual seashells are found, although rarely in live form. To be continued.
Terry Miller Shannon fondly remembers A LIBRARY OF OUR OWN It's not that libraries are important to my family or anything, but we moved to the town I grew up in solely because of its library status. When Dad took a new job my parents had a choice of relocating to Willows, a small rice-ranching community in California's Sacramento Valley, or to Orland, a small rice-ranching community in California's Sacramento Valley. Willows boasted twice as many (which is to say, two) libraries as its town-twin, so the Millers settled in Willows. We hadn't quite finished unpacking when Mom snatched up a recently emptied cardboard box and said, "Let's go pick out our library, kids, shall we?" We cruised by both buildings. "Hmm," we all said, the car hesitating outside the City Library, which was compact and brown-bricked and ordinary. At the next stop on the Miller Library Tour, the County Library dazzled us with its massive and pristine white concrete pillars. "Ooooh," I gasped. "It looks like the White House or something!" "Which one shall we go to?" Mom asked us, smiling as if she already knew the answer. And we, for once in perfect agreement, chorused, "The White Library!" As she parked the car, Mom mentioned, yet again, how wonderful it was to have a choice and how fortunate we were to have moved to a town with two libraries, remarks aimed for those of us who had put up a fuss over leaving our old (one-libraried) town. "We're the Millers," Mom told the woman behind the desk, who seemed unusually startled at our presence. "And I can't tell you how thrilled we are to be in this wonderful library! We just moved to Willows. In actual fact," Mom gave a little laugh, "we had our choice between moving to Orland or here. And we chose Willows just because it has two libraries! Oh, you'll be seeing a lot of us. Now, where shall we put our box so it's out of the way?" The librarian looked us over for so long that I started to wonder if we weren't quite up to standard. I began staring at my family members, too, trying to figure out what the problem could be. But we were just so ordinary: my tall and beautiful mother and the three skinny brown-haired kids wearing our usual costume of jeans and T-shirts, tennies and mosquito bites. I shrugged and watched the lady open her mouth, close it, purse it. "Well," she said. At last she smiled. "Well! Welcome, Millers!" She helped us heap our box that day and every Saturday morning afterward. Since there were no other patrons, ever, she seemed to have plenty of time to assist us. I never failed to feel hushed awe within our new library - so enormous and always so empty, echoing only the sound of Miller footsteps. "Mom," my sister asked one day, on our way home with our laden book box. "How come we don't get library cards here? Why does the librarian just write 'Miller' on a piece of paper for each book?" Mom shrugged. "I guess that's just the way they do it in Willows. Every town's different." A newfound friend took me to the City Library, known in our family as the Brown Library. "Aren't you going to pick out a book?" she asked, clutching her own Nancy Drew. "Oh no," I said. "We go to the other library." She frowned at me. "This is the only one you can check books out of, y'know." I just shrugged. Obviously, she was mistaken. Just because she'd lived in Willows her whole life certainly didn't mean she knew everything about the town. We hauled three years' worth of Saturday book boxes in and out of the White Library before Mom idly asked the librarian a question. "Just out of curiosity," she said, gently, not wanting to hurt this sweet woman's feelings, "why is it that we're always your only customers?" "Well," said the woman. "You know this is the county library, right?" "Uh huh. Right." "The real truth is..." She lowered her already soft voice. "Well, we're only supposed to be distributing books to other libraries. We normally don't loan to individuals. Ever." You could've heard a page turn. Finally, Mom said, "But we've been getting books here for years!" The woman smiled. "You Millers were so enthusiastic, I just plain didn't have the heart to turn you away." On the way out to the car, Mom said, "After we turn these books in, guys, we're going to get cards at the Brown Library. Just think - a whole new bunch of books to discover!" , It was quiet in the car heading home that day. Very quiet. In my memory's eye I picture us all staring straight ahead, in our old Ford, while a collective thought bubble hovers over our heads. It reads: "And to think we moved here because of the two libraries!" But, of course, it didn't matter if there were two libraries, one, or none whatsoever. Because by then Willows was home. ~~~ Terry Miller Shannon and her son, Tim Warner, wrote a funny, rhyming picture book. Tim's three-year-old bath-loving son inspired TUB TOYS (Tricycle Press, 2002, second printing 2003). Children's Literature calls TUB TOYS "a must-have book for families" and MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW says it is: "...greatly recommended ... whimsical and fun." Check it out at http://snurl.com/tubtoys_amaz
Tom Williamson forwards these THIRTY SIGNS THAT YOU'VE GROWN UP: 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends never hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Tim Horton's closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good." 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (Ed.: Now this one is open to question!) 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. Now you go without a bra so you can stretch out the wrinkles in your face. 26. You now have Dicky-Do disease. Your stomach sticks out more than your "dicky" do. 27. You find yourself griping about them gosh darn crazy motorcyle riders. 28. Sex has changed. It now takes you all night to do what you used to do all night. 29. A trip that used to take just a backpack now requires four suitcases, an overnight case, a personal bag and a special medicine bag. 30. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
Kate Brookfield's post asks ARE YOU A REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME? Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON ... it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life. Stop here and just SMILE if you don't want to do this last part: This is to show people you love them and to see how many people love you! Don't feel embarrassed, because only you will get the results. Send it to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you. 0 Replies - you need to work on your "people skills" 2 Replies - you're nice, but need to be more outgoing 4 Replies - you have picked your friends well 6 Replies - you are downright popular 8 or More - you are totally awesome! (Probably why you're on MY list!)
THIS TRAVELER IS A FAST LEARNER A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager. The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. "But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the manager replies. No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!" The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. "But sir," he says, "this cheque is only made out for $100." "That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the manager. "Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."
Bruce Galway sends these NEW MEASUREMENTS 1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter? Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash? 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement? 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God? 1 billigram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour? 1 Knotfurlong 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone? 1 Rod Serling 8. Half of a large intestine? 1 semicolon 9. 1,000,000 aches? 1 megahurtz 10. Basic unit of laryngitis? 1 hoarsepower 11. Shortest distance between two jokes? A straight line 12. 453.6 graham crackers? 1 pound cake 13. 1 million microphones? 1 megaphone 14. 2 million bicycles? 2 megacycles 15. 365.25 days? 1 unicycle 16. 2000 mockingbirds? 2 kilomockingbirds 17. 52 cards? 1 decacards 18. 1 kilogram of falling figs? 1 Fig Newton 19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks? 1 literhosen 20. 1 millionth of a fish? 1 microfiche 21. 1 trillion pins? 1 terrapin 22. 10 rations? 1 decoration 23. 100 rations? 1 C-ration 24. 2 monograms? 1 diagram 25. 4 nickels? 2 paradigms 26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital? 1 IV League 27. 100 Senators? Not 1 decision
A SATISFIED CUSTOMER Dear Tide: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.... Signed, A relieved menopausal wife
"All that I know I learned after I was thirty." - Georges Clemenceau |