THE TALE SPINNER
Vol. XVI, No. 20
May 15, 2010
IN THIS ISSUE:Vol. XVI, No. 20
May 15, 2010
Carol Dilworth visits old Fort York in Toronto
Kate Brookfield forwards a letter asking for clicks to help KINSA
Don Henderson sends some illuminating quotes about golf
Bruce Galway forwards an updated fairy tale
For the women, a guide to understanding men
The editor pays tribute to her 105-year-old Aunt Katie
Websites are recommended by Bruce Galway, Irene Harvalias, and Pat Moore
Carol Dilworth recently did her exploring closer to home than Uganda:
VISIT TO FORT YORK
I recently visited a place I'd driven past and ignored for 40 years: Fort York. Our party of five had, individually, toured Fort George, Fort Henry, and Louisburg (and probably others) but this was the first visit to Fort York for all of us, probably because we live so close to it. We were there the same day as a Scout troop, who were having a wonderful time chasing each other with wooden rifles up and down the hills. Fortunately, not everyone waits as long as we did for their first visit, but if you are thinking of visiting and have to travel any distance, you might want to wait until 2012 (see story in next issue).
The very reasonable admission price included a map, a description of the property and the history, and an audio guide. Here is the history, as described in the fort's handout:
"The Founding of Toronto at Fort York"
"The settlement of modern Toronto began in 1793 when John Graves Simcoe built a garrison on the present site of Fort York. Fearful of war with the United States, Simcoe planned to establish a naval base at Toronto so that the British could control Lake Ontario.
"However, Simcoe did not construct heavy defences. Anglo-American tensions eased by 1794, and the governor-in-chief, Lord Dorchester, decided the Lake Ontario squadron should be located at Kingston, 250 kilometres east of York. Dorchester thought Kingston could be supplied more easily than isolated York, as well as defend the St. Lawrence River communications link to Lower Canada better.
"Simcoe's original log buildings deteriorated quickly. His successors built new barracks 100 metres east of the present site in the late 1790s for the small garrison assigned to the capital. In 1800, a residence for the lieutenant-governor, 'Government House', was built on the present fort site."
"The War of 1812 and The Battle of York"
"In 1807, Anglo-American relations were again in decline. Anticipating war, Major-General Isaac Brock strengthened Fort York in 1811. The fort's west wall and the circular battery date from that time.
"In 1812, the United States declared war and invaded Canada. On 27 April 1813, the U.S. Army and Navy attacked York with 2,550 men, 14 naval vessels, and 85 cannons. The defending force of 750 British soldiers and Canadian militiamen, along with about 50 Mississauga and Ojibway warriors, had only 12 large guns.
"The Americans stormed ashore west of the fort under the cover of their naval guns. The defenders put up a strong fight, but fell back to Fort York from the beachhead in the face of overwhelming odds. The British commander, Major-General Sir Roger Hale Sheaffe, then retreated eastward and blew up the fort's gunpowder magazine (located near today's Memorial Area). The explosion caused heavy casualties among the Americans, including the mortal wounding of their field commander, Brigadier-General Zebulon Pike. Total losses in the six-hour battle were 157 British, 320 American.
"After the battle, the Native warriors withdrew into the forest while Sheaffe's British soldiers retreated east to Kingston. The delicate task of surrendering York fell to the local militia. The Americans occupied York for six days. During this time they looted homes, seized or destroyed supplies, and burned two public structures - Government House and the Parliament Buildings. In 1814, during their attack on Washington, the British retaliated by burning the Capitol Building, the White House, and several other public edifices.
"The Americans returned to a defenceless York in July of 1813 to burn barracks and other military buildings left standing in April. Shortly afterwards, the British began rebuilding Fort York, and by August 1814 it was strong enough to repel an American naval squadron that attempted to enter Toronto harbour.
"In February 1815, word reached York that the war had ended the previous December. It was good news; peace had returned and the defence of Canada against American invasion had been successful."
"The Post-War Garrison"
The British Army continued to garrison Fort York after the war, although in 1841 most of the troops moved to a new barracks one kilometre west of the old fort. Neglected in peacetime, Fort York's defences deteriorated, though occasionally the British military did strengthen them - particularly during the Rebellion Crisis of 1837-41 and a period of tension with the United States in 1861-62.
"In 1870, the Canadian government assumed responsibility for most of the country's defences, including Fort York. Canadian troops maintained the harbour defences at Fort York until the 1880s. The army, however, did not abandon the fort at that time but used it for training until the 1930s."
"The Restoration of Fort York"
"The City of Toronto purchased Fort York in 1909, although it let the army use the site until the 1930s. The city restored the fort between 1932-34 (photo: Junior Officers' Barracks). On Victoria Day 1934, Fort York opened as an historic site museum. Today, the fortified walls surround Canada's largest collection of original War of 1812 buildings."
To be concluded.
Kate Brookfield forwards this letter from a friend whose brother, a policeman, died in service:
KINSA
Paul Gillespie was a detective who used to head up the sex crimes unit with the Toronto police. He then moved to the exploitation of children unit. He is now retired from the Toronto Police Services and is the president and Ceo of KINSA, a non-profit organization that finds, rescues, and helps to heal child victims of abuse whose images are shared on the internet.
Microsoft has just started a campaign for Internet Explorer 8 (IE8), which will give $2 to KINSA every time you click on this site and sign onto the link on Facebook. The money will help KINSA to train foreign policemen in protecting children online.
Don Henderson sends these
GOLF QUOTES
You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen. ~ Lee Trevino
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best ~ Jack Nicklaus
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H G Wells
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino
I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino
Bruce Galway sends the end of the fairy tale:
CINDERELLA AT 75
Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead -rince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"
The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."
Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.
Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied, "It is the least I can do. What does your heart want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. A long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her.
Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke, "You have one more wish; what shall you have?"
Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that when complete he stood before her, a man so beautiful the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.
The Fairy Godmother again spoke, "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered, "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?"
This one was sent to me by a man, so don't blame me for the bias in this
MEN'S THESAURUS
"I'm going fishing" means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"It's a guy thing" means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear..." means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain" means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind," means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"Take a break, honey. You're working too hard," means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear," means: "Are you still talking?"
"You know how bad my memory is," means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses," means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself; it's no big deal," means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing," means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it," means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?" means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I heard you," means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else," means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific," means: "Please don't try on one more outfit; I'm starving."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are," means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework," means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up.
FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK
In memory of my aunt, Kathleen Stewart (nee Howie), who was born in Kemble, Ontario, in 1905, and died in Melfort, Saskatchewan, on May 13th, at the age of 105.
The Howie family moved from Kemble to Pleasantdale in Saskatchewan in 1911, travelling to their new home in an ox-drawn wagon. There were two other children besides Kathleen, or Katie, as she was always called: my mother, Mary, and my uncle, Charlie. It was a hard life on the homestead they took up, especially after my grandfather died in 1914. My grandmother and the three children managed to keep their home, with a lot of hard work and the help of good friends and neighbours.
Life was very hard on the prairie at that time. Sometimes the water and bread would have to be thawed after a cold night. Charlie raised and broke two oxen when he was still a young boy, and he hauled grain to Melfort, 25 miles away, which took two days.
It was not all hard work, however. Neighbours would get together to play cards or other games, to sing songs or tell stories; in summer there were picnics and ball games and barn raisings and dances.
Katie married Charlie Stewart of Pleasantdale and they had two children, Pearl and Allen. They farmed until Charlie died in 1964, and in 1970, Katie and her brother Charlie both moved to Melfort. Charlie died in 1975; Grandma had died at the age of 94. They were a long-lived family - good peasant stock.
Katie lived at Caskey Place, a retirement home in Melfort, until last year, when she had to move into a care home. At the time of her death, she could no longer see nor hear very well, and the days must have been very long for her, though she had many visitors. She told me she had 17 grandchildren and great-grandchildren, many of whom lived close by, so she had lots of family support.
I didn't see Katie very often during her long life, but she and my mother wrote to each other as long as my mother was alive, and when she died, Katie wrote to me. All my life she has been a constant, and I will miss knowing that she is there. Sleep well, Katie!
THIS WEEK'S SUGGESTED WEBSITES
Bruce Galway sends this trip down memory lane, in which Johnny Carson actually sings:
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Pat Moore sends this pilot test: just click on where you think a city is and the plane will land there; then it will show you where the city actually is:
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You may also read this newsletter online at:
http://nw-seniors.org/stories.html
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."- W. H. Auden
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