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Vol. X, No. 12 March 20, 2004 IN THIS ISSUE:
 Dalton Deedrick concludes his account of the volunteer work he did in A MONTH IN AFRICA March 31 - Friday. Lightly booked so did a few fillings. They are a luxury for most of the people. If they have an extraction, and probably an apparent cavity nearby which warrants a filling, I suggest they have them both taken care of while they are seated. Generally they have funds enough to do just one procedure, and naturally, the one that's hurting gets the nod. Beware the occasional patient who wants a filling! They aver vehemently that the tooth has never given them pain, but when one gets the cavity fully excavated, there is the pulp exposed, and I know they have fibbed. However, one goes through the pulp-capping procedure and filling, knowing that statistics are against a successful outcome. Our successor will be seeing the patient who by now has an agonizing abscess, and both will wonder if that is representative of Canadian dentistry. There will be 12 different dentists covering this clinic over the course of a year. They will come from any country in the world, and most of them will be of the near-retirement age. It's kind of like putting Seabiscuit in a claiming race when he's 29 years old! I ran the theater proposition by sister M.C. She was going to go to Nairobi on the weekend anyway, and the prospect of seeing live theater struck her as being a great idea. We'll see how she reacts to a tale of Victorian lust and passion as only old George Bernard can project. April 1 - Saturday. Our faithful Peugeot (I'm beginning to love that vehicle) launched with her springs flattened out, with five nuns, myself, and a great load of books and paraphernalia off to the airport. Four of the nuns were on their way back to Nigeria, with all their gear. Lunch, and a few groceries to get my replacement started next week, then down Parliament Road to the Phoenix Theater. There were turned heads, and a few hand-shielded whispers as sister M.C. and I made our entrance. She was of course the only dark face in the crowd, but she beamed benignantly on all and sundry, and obviously enjoyed and understood the play. I think we both counted it as a 'fun' afternoon. My term here will end next week and I must confess I'm looking forward to the turnover. Oddly enough, it's not the frustration of the working environment that is paramount, but the isolation one feels from not being able to converse with anyone. April 2 - Sunday. Had the scare of my life last night. I was going down to the phone booth a block away, the night was moonless and black as coal, and suddenly from right beside me on the path I heard a guttural, "Jambo." I must have jumped a foot, and a panicked glance revealed three white spots at my eye level, about two feet away. As you may have deduced, I survived. It was the night watchman who patrols the compound, standing by a bush, with only his eyes and teeth reflecting any light. "Jambo" is "hello" in Swahili. When my eyes became a bit more accustomed to the gloom, I could see that he was armed. He was carrying a bow and arrows! My relief comes in tomorrow, along with his wife. About half the volunteers bring their wives along, and some wives go out on the clinics, and some just read and putter. I spent the day tidying up the house - rather a unique experience, I'm ashamed to admit, and packing for the return home. April 3 - Monday, and sister M.C. brought in my replacement and his wife. A most congenial couple who have been on several similar assignments, so have no trepidations. They are from Pennsylvania, and what a treat to get in some conversation again. They also brought in the replacement valve for the air rotor, and it works. They are exhausted from their long flight over, so tucked in early. Finished my report on the month's efforts, and closed it off with feelings of regret. It has been a month to cherish in memory forever. April 4 - Dr. Gingles and I did the local clinic, alternating the rotations. My job was to apprize him of the quirks and quarks he may encounter over his month on the job. He's done these before and will do just fine. His wife spent the day getting acquainted with the house. The changeover always involves the "hail and farewell" dinner at the nurses' residence. They have a format for these occasions which I'm sure is the same each month. The nuns are sweet, sincere, and unsophisticated ladies, and calm and unruffled in any situation. We all said the appropriate things, we had a little gift exchange, and this time the lights stayed on throughout the festivities. The three of us huddled under one umbrella as we went back to our quarters, rejoicing with all our neighbors at a desperately-needed shower. April 5 - Wednesday. Goodbye to Kilimambogo. A heartfelt thanks to the people who have made this venture one to remember with pleasure forever. Dispersed a few small remembrances to the boys, and wished Carl and Sue Gingles the best of luck for their turn. Sister M.C. took me down to Nairobi and we parted with a hug. I don't know whether one hugs nuns or not, but she was exceptional in looking after me while out there, and a warm embrace was the best farewell I could muster. I hope she has a long and happy career in the life she has chosen. I also gave a little affectionate pat on the Peugeot's battered hood. My first impressions were wrong! In retrospect, I have a hard time deciding whether these ventures are worthwhile or not. Certainly we brought some relief of pain to a few people, but it was not just a drop in the bucket, but a drop in the ocean of need in that vast continent. The items that come to mind as being barriers to progress include overpopulation, universal corruption, tribalism, ignorance, and disease. There are certainly more one could cite. The AIDS catastrophe is decimating the young adult population which should be the leaders in education and progress, but now we have nations predominantly of children and grandparents. Off to Canada after a few days here to see again the Serengeti and "Treetops" up by the Aberdare mountains. We may have a few problems in Canada, but when I look back on the last month, I realize we live in one of the greatest countries on earth! I pray we can keep it that way.
Margaret Manning explores her family tree: HIDDEN TREASURES Anyone with an interest in genealogy knows that the job is never finished. There's always another name popping up just when you thought you had all of Great Aunt Mary's siblings named in the family tree. Then someone totally unknown to you and living on the other side of the world sees your name and interests listed in a family history magazine, or as an enquiry on a web page. They send you a long list of names and dates similar to those you are researching and you start to think, "Surely some of these must be mine." After many hours of checking and re-checking your own research notes, you realise none of the recently acquired names have anything whatsoever to do with your lot. You're no further forward and your mind is even more confused than it was before the person or persons contacted you. Despite all this, people keen on family research just keep on trying to fill in more of the gaps. I had a big surprise about relatives a few monthsb back when Eric rang me from England. He was staying in his late twin sister's bungalow and assisting our two nephews to sort through their mother's effects. (Just to confuse things a bit more, Eric's twin sister was married to my (deceased) brother, also named Eric, so their two sons really are OUR nephews). They came across several interesting bits and pieces relating to ancestors of both of us. I had no idea that my paternal grandmother did embroidery. She was born in 1874 and had made an embroidery sampler using a piece of sacking as her base fabric. Eric said the colours of the cottons used were still quite vibrant. He photocopied the piece, and brought that home to me. My paternal grandfather was awarded four medals for service during the Boer War and World War I. He also received a hand-written letter from King George V congratulating him on surviving both being a prisoner of war and the war itself. The medals were photographed and the letter photcopied for me. Eric brought back a lovely photo of my mother as a young woman, and my father's gold watch presented to him after he'd completed 25 years with the same company. He also returned with a picture of my brother as a toddler sitting in an old tin bath. My mother's sister emigrated to the U.S.A. in August 1939. I now have some of her pieces of embroidery and her travel diary from the 1950s. On Eric's side, they came across his mother's savings book from the 1920s, a book his Great Aunt gave his mother around 1900, and a photograph of his Uncle Sidney outside a tinsmith's business in Canada. This was particularly interesting as it might help us to find out whether Uncle Sidney actually worked in Canada. As far as we knew, he died a few weeks after his boat docked. Other members of Eric's family were tinsmiths. The best find of all for Eric were original drawings by both his older brother and his twin sister. They had an enormous talent for drawing and painting. These were also photographed for our own memories. So although Eric's trip to England was for a sad occasion, it revealed many treasures that belonged to our ancestors. I suppose that proves that good things can come from unhappy circumstances.
OBSCURE THREE-LETTER WORDS On my enquiring about a couple of the three-letter words she wrote about last week, Margaret replied: I noticed that some of those three-letter words had another letter following them. I don't know how to answer your query! My best dictionary hasn't got the word "ove" in it and it is not in the Collins Scrabble for Beginners book. I wonder if it developed from people not talkin' proper like what I do, and saying "ove" instead of over? The word "eth" is shown in my dictionary as - and what a mouthful this is and practically unintelligible - "a suffix forming the archaic third person singular present indicative tense of verbs, such as goeth or taketh". The Scrabble book says "eth" is a letter used in old English. My darling and ever-helpful husband says, "Perhaps 'eth' is called a letter used in old English because the letter 'F' (for Freddie) was used instead of an 'S' (for Susan) in scroll writing." Actually, that sounds as good an explanation as any and a lot easier to understand than the first one. I doubt if any of that helps but if it gets Tale Spinner readers thinking they might come up with some answers themselves. ~~~~ Margaret answers a question asked by Zvonko Springer about her Australian train story: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF "GHAN"? Australia imported camels from Afghanistan (I don't know when as I haven't got the reference handy) to use as "transport" to carry goods and people to the remote inland of Australia. The animals thrived in the harsh environment and became very numerous. When the rail line from Adelaide to Alice Springs was completed, it was decided to call the train "The Ghan" as a shortened form of Afghanistan and in recognition of the camels. The Ghan is a very famous brand and the background to it can easily be found on the Internet.
Carol Shoemaker writes: These can't possibly be real quotes, can they???? WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REAL JOBS Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful) Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January) Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'" Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
CORRESPONDENCE Charles King writes from Ottawa: If you succeed in memorizing all those obscure three-letter words, I'll never challenge you to a friendly Scrabble match. I have enough trouble keeping up with Polly's reliance on the Concise Oxford! The item that followed on "British Mums" was a kick as well. Do you really believe their authenticity? ED.: Well, no, Chas., but they were good for a laugh.
Jay is guilty of forwarding this groaner: TWO BROOMS Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride-broom. The other was the groom-broom. The bride-broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom-broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!" "IMPOSSIBLE!" said the groom-broom. Are you ready for this!!? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt... Really bad... "WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
DEFINITION At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service" ... the act of doing things for other people. Then I heard the terms Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Civil Service, Service Stations ... and I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant. Then one day, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull service a few of his cows. SHAZAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us!
Zvonko Springer sent these translations of European stories: CHILDREN'S TALK Angelica was spending an afternoon at her grandma's home. Having a snack, Angelica spilled some milk over her nice dress and promptly spurted out a bad word. Grandma, taken by surprise, said: "You should not use this bad word in future. If you solemnly promise that you'll not say it again, I will give you one Euro now." "I promise, Grandma, cross my heart!" said Angelica, pocketing the coin fast. After a few moments she said with a cheeky smile: "Dear Grandma, I know another very bad word that is worth ten Euro at least!" ~~~ "Mom, would you give me one Euro for that old man there, please?" asks Hans, pointing across the street. Mother, taking out a coin, responds: "Yes, of course. I like it that you want to help an old man. Where is he, Hans?" Relieved, Hans blurts out: "There he is, standing on the other side of the street selling strawberry ice!"
Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor? Here from Florida newspapers are some SENIOR PERSONAL ADS FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem. SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out, and enjoy quiet times. WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy. BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights, and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes. MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together. MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
In the future, etiquette will become more and more important. That doesn't mean knowing which fork to pick up -- I mean basic consideration for the rights of other animals (human beings included) and the willingness, whenever practical, to tolerate the other guy's idiosyncracies. - Frank Zappa, The Real Frank Zappa Book |