'Welcome to Bologna on Capital Gold for England versus San Marino with Tennent's Pilsner, brewed with Czechoslovakian yeast for that extra Pilsner taste and England are one down.' - JONATHAN PEARCE
'Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you're 80-20 sure of winning it.' - IAN DARKE
'Lee Sharpe has got dynamite in his shorts' - STUART HALL
'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal' - DAVID COLEMAN
'If it had gone in, it would have been a goal' - BARRY DAVIES
'It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the scoreline on Saturday.' - RADIO 5 LIVE
'Steve Agnew is over this free kick - what do you think of the situation here,Steve Agnew?' - NEVILLE FOULGER
'You don't score 64 goals in 86 games without being able to score goals.' - ALAN GREEN
'Nicky Butt, he's another aptly named player. He joins things, brings one sentence to an end and starts another.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals.' - TONY GUBBA
'...and he crosses the line with the ball almost mesmerically tied to his foot with a piece of string.' - IAN DARKE
'If ever the Greeks needed a Trojan horse, it is now.' - GERALD SINSTADT
'It's as if there's a magnet on the outside of the posts and bar.' - JOHN HELM
'He's passing the ball like Idi Amin.' - ALAN PARRY
'A peep, peep, peep, another peep, and that's it.' - BARRY DAVIES greets a final whistle.
'What a debut for the young goalkeeper, as a striker.' - PETER DRURY
'What did you say to Souness after the end of the final whistle?' - TONY GUBBA
'It was one of the best goals I've seen this millenium.' - TONY GUBBA
'Bruce, on his right foot, is still running...' - ALAN GREEN
'Cantona's expression speaking the whole French dictionary without saying a word.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Some supporters have come down onto the pitch from over the edge of the upper tier.' - NEVILLE FOULGER
'The long goal kick, and now, this could fall...' - GERALD 'not Issac Newton' SINSTADT
'He went through a non-existant gap.' - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
'Peru score their third, and it's 3-1 to Scotland.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'The Dutch look like a huge jar of marmalade.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Liverpool will be without Kvarme tonight - he's illegible.' - JIMMY ARMFIELD
'The whole season is disappearing and blowing up in their faces.' - Malaysian TV
'One or two people are streaming away.' - Radio 5 Live commentator
'He [Cole] is good in the air as well as off the ground...' - Metro FM commentator
'...he's using his favourite left foot..' - ITV commentator
'He's the proverbial brick door.' - Commentator
'...like a predator about to devour the target.' - ALAN PARRY
'And Rush, quick as a needle...' - RON JONES
'Poor Graham Shaw. It was there for the asking and he didn't give the answer.' - PETER JONES
'And Southampton have most assuredly lost their confidence in this second half.' - MIKE MCGEE
'Dewalt had all kinds of time momentarily.' - PAT MARSDEN
'And the bald head of John Sillett leaps from the bench.' - STUART LINNELL
'Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead.' - TOM PERRIE
'Ian Baird is dashing around like a steam roller up front.' - MARTIN TYLER
'The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'There are no opportune times for a penalty, and this is not one of those times.' - JACK YOUNGBLOOD
'Such a positive move by Uruguay - bringing 2 players off and putting 2 players on.' - JOHN HELM
'West Germany's Briegel hasn't been able to get past anyone yet - that's his trademark.' - JOHN HELM
'They're floating up on a sea of euphoria, and hoping to drag themselves clear of the quicksand at the bottom.' - PETER JONES
'It's headed away by John Clark, using his head.' - DEREK RAE
'The shot from Laws was precise but wide.' - ALAN PARRY
'It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.' - ALAN GREEN
'And with just 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.' - IAN DARKE
'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.' - DAVID ACFIEL
'Referee Norlinger is outstanding in the sense that he stands out.' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee.' - MIKE INGHAM
'Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.' - JOHN GREIG
'It's going to take a shoehorn to prise these two teams apart' - ALAN PARRY
'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras...' - PETER JONES
'...evoking memories, particularly of days gone by.' - MIKE INGHAM
'Bristol Rovers were 4-0 up at half time, with four goals in the first half.' - TONY ADAMSON
'The Dutch fans look like a huge jar of marmalade' - BARRY DAVIES
'Leeds are enjoying more possession now that they have the ball.' - SIMON BROTHERTON
'That youngster is playing well beyond his 19 years - that's because he's 21.' - DAVID BEGG
'Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds.' - PETER JONES
'Forest have now lost six matches without winning.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'Lukic saved with his foot, which is all part of the goalkeeper's arm.' - BARRY DAVIES
'The USA are a goal down, and if they don't get a goal they'll lose.' - JOHN HELM
'Both Villa scorers were born in Liverpool, as was the Villa manager, who was born in Birkenhead.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'The ball has broken 50-50 for Keegan' - DAVID COLEMAN
'It's been seventeen years since Celtic first won this competition, and after tonight it could be 18.' - RODDY FORSYTH
'McCarthy shakes his head in agreement with the referee...' - MARTIN TYLER
'Ian Rush is deadly 10 times out of 10, but that wasn't one of them.' - PETER JONES
'52,000 here tonight, but it sounds like 50,000.' - BRYON BUTLER
'For those who know Selhurst Park, West Ham are playing from right to left.' - Unknown
'It's only the absence of a goal we're waiting for.' - Unknown
'He's 31 this year : last year he was 30.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'Kevin Reeves...proving an ill wind blows nobody no good.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'The pace of the match is really accelerating, by which I mean it is getting faster all the time.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'England are looking better value for 0-0.' - BARRY DAVIES
'That's the kind he usually knocks in in his sleep - with his eyes closed.' - ARCHIE MacPHERSON
'The ball was literally glued to the back of his foot - into the back of the net.' - ALAN PARRY
'2-0 is a cricket score in Italy' - ALAN PARRY
'Emile Zola has scored again for Chelsea' - Radio 5 Live
'Franz Carr down the wing...sorry, Ruel Fox...' - ALAN GREEN
'The crowd think that Todd handled the ball...they must have seen something that nobody else did.' - BARRY DAVIES
'These two clubs had a monopoly of the domestic honours last season.' - TONY GUBBA
'Four minutes to go... four long minutes... three-hundred and sixty seconds...' - ALISTAIR ALEXANDER
'Now that [a goal scored from an acute angle] is defying the laws of gravity.' - HARRY NEAL
'Scholes hits the goalpost - he could hardly have hit that any better.' - BBC World Service
'Vialli's absolutely certain that he knows one way or the other whether he'll score or not.' - JONATHAN PEARCE
'Now Zola tries to inject some speed...' - RON JONES
'The ball must be as slippery as a wet baby.' - TONY GUBBA
'The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties...' - MARTIN TYLER
'He had a very impressive first debut.' - GLR
'Ferguson hasn't scored since the opening day of the season - he's not a natural striker.' (five minutes later) 'Ferguson! At last a goal from him...natural instincts from a former Scottish striker.' - ROB PALMER
'...if that had crossed the line it would have been a goal.' - GARY BLOOM
'That's often the best place to beat a goalkeeper, isn't it, between the legs?' - CLIVE TYLESDLEY
'Knight saved it with his back arm' - IAN BROWN
'...a tale of too many cooks in the defence.' - IAN BROWN
'The silence is getting louder.' - DAVE WOODS
'A full-blooded encounter for a number of reasons, many of them illegitimate.' - JOHN CHAMPION
'These Scottish players are very ordinary. In fact they have no names.' - HAMMED ADIO (Zimbabwean TV)
'It's Denmark 3 Denmark 0...' - IAN BROWN
'He was in the right place at the right time, but he might have been elsewhere on a different afternoon.' - TONY GUBBA
'The fans, and now most of the crowd, are interested in this event.' - ANGUS LOUGHRAN
'It had to go in, but it didn't.' - PETER DRURY
'That's lifted the crowd up into the air.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin.' - MIKE INGHAM
'Jean Tigana has spent the entire first half inside Liam Brady's shorts.' - JIMMY MAGEE
'Cleland was the victim of his own downfall.' - ALAN PARRY
'Villa will probably play a lot worse than this and lose.' - ALAN PARRY
'Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything thrown at him...Wimbledon 1, Manchester United 1.' - MIKE INGHAM
'He had to get down low to save that one on the ground' - BARRY DAVIES
'Rangers are definitely on the back heel now' - ARCHIE MACPHERSON
'The crowd...a cacophony of colour' - PETER DRURY
'Daei's all alone here, with four Chelsea defenders for company.' - PETER DRURY
'Victor Hernandez, like an orchestral conductor directing his troops...' - JON CHAMPION
'That was only a yard away from being an inch-perfect pass.' - MURDO MACLEOD
'This will be their 19th consecutive game without a win unless they can get an equaliser.' - ALAN GREEN
'In this sort of match, whoever scores the most goals wins' - PORTUGUESE COMMENTATOR
'Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Viv Anderson has pissed a fatness test.' - JOHN HELM
'The referee was only five or seven yards away from that incident.' - PETER DRURY
'The substitutes are all on the bench, and that's where they'll start the match.' - BARRY DAVIES
'If there's going to be another goal, it's surely going to be a fourth.' - ROB PALMER
'He had no chance of beating Schmeichel from there, but it was always worth a try.' - ALAN PARRY
'From that moment the pendulum went into reverse' - GERALD SINSTADT
'Ardiles strokes the ball like it was a part of his anatomy.' - JIMMY MAGEE
'Anelka was travelling so fast that he couldn't keep his own feet' - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
'As the seconds tick down, Belgium are literally playing in time that doesn't exist.' - GUY MOWBRAY
'A smoked salmon sandwich of a football match if ever there has been one.' - PETER DRURY
'He's showed him the left leg, then the right. Where's the ball, the defender asks? It's up his sleeve.' - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
'And Swansea have an uphill mountain to climb now.' - JOHN HARDY
'There’s 30 minutes gone and we’re in the first quarter of the game.' - JON CHAMPION
'He's scored the winning goal three minutes after being sent off' - CANADIAN COMMENTATOR
'Lampard, as usual, arrived in the nick of time, but it wasn't quite soon enough.' - ALAN PARRY
'The tall team takes the low road into the lead' - MARTIN TYLER
'As he was running away, the left back brought him down like a rabbit in full flight' - THIERRY ROLAND
'Without the ball, he is a different player' - PETER BRACKLEY
'Ziege hits it high for Heskey who isn't playing' - ALAN GREEN
'They've maintained their unbeaten record between the legs.' - BARRY DAVIES
'Here he comes...with his left foot' - RON JONES
'The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related.' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'The eiderdown of this 2-0 lead is a lot more comfortable than the blanket of 1-0.' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'What that situation really needed was a little eyebrows.' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'The midfield are like a chef, trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside.' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'Xavier, who looks just like Zeus, not that I have any idea what Zeus looks like...' - ALAN GREEN
'Silvestre has had the whites of the goal in his eyes ever since...' - IAN DARKE
'Alan Smith... very much a striker, by reputation... and by fact' - PETER DRURY
'Bayern Munich lost in the semi-finals of the Champions League to Real Madrid last year, and the year before that were beaten in the final by Manchester United, so their European pedigree is second to none.' - SIMON BROTHERTON
'There's Ottmar Hitzfeld, the two year old Bayern Munich manager.' - MIKE HILL
'There's no end to the stoppage of this drama' - ALAN PARRY
'David O'Leary's poker face betrays the emotions' - CLIVE TYLDESLEY
'We don't really know what Iran are capable of when the gun is put to their head' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'Shay Given almost single-handedly won the match for Newcastle against Everton, although obviously he didn't score the goals' - GEORGE HAMILTON
'We are about as far away from the penalty box as the penalty box is from us.' - TOM TYRRELL