The Home for Controlled Insanity
Issue #001, Saturday, August 7, 2004
From Command Central
Welcome to a new era in your lives and mine. Whether you knew it was coming or not...I've got lots to say and do and very little time on this earth for it all, so listen up. This is my brand-spankin' new newsletter, delivered every week (hopefully) to your inbox. Ah, you've gotta love email. Ha!!!
Why am I doing this? Because I have to. I've got a lifelong passion for learning--about technology, the world, self-development, you name it--and I want to share my moments of stoned enlightenment with others. Okay, and a couple of moments of clear-headed enlightenment too!
Another reason, and no less important, is that I want to hear from each and every one of you. I know you all for a reason, and in your own unique ways, you teach me something. The TA is a way for you to tell me--and the others getting this newsletter--what's on your mind.
What pisses you off? What do you care about? What matters? What do you see? Have you opened your eyes? Are you doing anything about it?
Everyone has different responses to these questions. I want to share my answers, hear about yours, and hopefully all of us will be better human beings in the process.
Because this is the first TA newsletter, it will no doubt change radically over the next few issues. I want to hear feedback, dammit! Do you want to write your own column or have regular contribution to the TA in some way? I'm all ears.
Okay, drum roll please...
Ranting and Raving
(This section is dedicated to things in my life, or observations I make in daily living, that either piss me off, make me wonder, or both.)
This week's topic: Customer Service--It's Your Responsibility Too
Have you ever received customer service from a business over and over again--not just one time by one individual--that sucked? Of course you have! Have you ever had the pleasant experience of dealing with a company who handled your problem quickly and effectively, leaving you more determined than ever to become a repeat customer? Hopefully you have!
What's the difference between the two companies? It's not necessarily the size, nor the personalities, nor the quality of the overall product or service. None of these are as important to how satisfied you feel as when something goes wrong--and how they deal your problem.
An example from my life: First, the ideal experience--I had an expensive piece of exercise equipment break down on me. I had ordered it from New Hampshire and it carried only a 90 day warranty, but now this was over a year after I bought it! I emailed them, and right away the rep told me she'd make sure that a new one was sent. They would even pay for the shipping of the old unit back to them! I was thrilled. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks went by and I hadn't heard anything from them. So I emailed yet again, fearing the worst. I received a reply saying the person with whom I'd talked to had left the business. "Uh oh," I thought, "now am I going to get a different story?" Nope. Instead, the new rep told me she'd have one out that day (she saw to it personally) and gave me a tracking number. I'm now proud to say the equipment is on its way.
This business cares about the customer. I bought the item knowing that after 90 days I could be screwed. I had faith in the business, called Explosive Fitness, however. They were champs, even after the screw-up with the first rep. They dropped the ball but weren't afraid to pick it back up! I'm proud to be a customer of theirs.
In the next (the shitty) situation, I subscribed to a satellite service. Let's call the company Ball Eckspresview. Things were great at first. I had excellent reception, a reasonable monthly bill, all peachy. Then one day I moved and was supposed to receive a "one month free service" moving promotion. "Cool," I thought. An added bonus to moving after being evicted. Fast-forward to several months later. You guessed it, the moving promo was never credited to my bill. Customer service was about as much help to me as the police who came to my apartment last Aug. 27--in other words, dick-all. To make a long story short, I called many times, spoke to many reps, heard lots of promises, dealt with a collections agency, yada yada yada. Finally, now they accept they screwed up but because I decided to cancel my service before the one year contract was up (gee, I wonder why?), they're making me pay a $70 cancellation fee.
Everything about that situation makes me sick. A huge corporation, in a competitive marketplace, basically put me through the ringer to get a few measly dollars from me. Their service reps had no authority, I was left in the dark until the next bill arrived, and in the end all they got was a disgruntled ex-customer who's bitching to his friends in a newsletter about his horrid experience. Take that, Bell, err, I mean, Ball!
What you can do
I'm not ranting about customer service to have you be better to your customer. Although not all of us have customers, all of us are customers. As consumers we have a responsibility to point other consumers in the right direction and prevent them from being exploited. Do you think I just took my medicine with "Ball" and paid them $70? Hell no! I wrote to the CRTC and after waiting a couple of weeks I wrote to them again, and I'll keep on the CRTC's ass until they get on Bell's ass!
When you encounter a bad service experience it's your job to tell someone. I'm not talking about that rude person who had a bad day and took it out on you. No, I mean a bad service experience with the company. Learn to differentiate. A company that has one bad employee is much different than a company that has a pathetic after-sale customer service policy. The policy affects all customers. Tell your friends. Write to the president. Fill out one of those "customer comment" cards. Or if you're crazy like me go right to the Man (or the Man's appointed 'regulatory body')! Just do something so that no one else has to go through what you did.
If your really insane like me, even take note of good after-sale customer service. If a company has treated you well and has gone above and beyond, make sure they know you appreciate it. It's one thing to bitch and moan about a bad experience--people love doing that. But it takes an extra special person to take time and praise the customer-loving business. That is the best way we can change business for the better.
It's your responsibility.
Big Brother BlahBlah
This section deals with news from south of the border, the land of the free and the home of the brave.
I know some of you read news from around the world and from our friendly neighbour down south. I know some of you couldn't give two shits about what's happening beyond your cozy little worlds. I can't blame you. After all, the world is a big scary place right now more than ever. And the US loves to feed us gobs and gobs of fear-gruel. It elicits every single negative emotion in your being. If you're not careful you'll drown in poison. But there's some things that matter. They may not affect you now, but trust me, they will!
I do not watch CNN; I don't read the New York Times or the Washington Post; hell, I don't even watch the 6 O'clock News (sorry Peter Jennings!) All my knowledge comes from what the mainstream calls "alternative news sources". Or, as I like to call it, "news that tells it like it is." (I'll be talking about these alternative sources in future newsletters.)
Last week, the Democrats held the Democratic National Convention at the Fleet Centre in Boston to elect their nominee for presidential candidate. It was already a foregone conclusion that John Kerry and his running-mate John Edwards were going to win. The DNC was a big pep-rally, to show the American people how united the Democrats are in their quest to oust Bush from the Oval Office. The convention went off without a hitch. Security forces made sure of that.
It was a modern-day police-state atmosphere on the streets. Over 1000 cameras were installed around the city. Cops everywhere. They even had a "protestor zone", a designated patch of land for protestors to shout from. Of course, it was conveniently located away from where DNC attendees could hear (and barely see) them. Fortunately for the Democrats, the media focused almost entirely on the pre-scripted anti-climax that was going on inside.
On the much-revered "war on terror" front, the US has just raised its threat level to the colour Orange, meaning you should eat a lots of oranges right now. It also means "high" alert. Something was different about the announcement this time, though--there was actually a list of specific targets mentioned, as opposed to the normal, "everyone be afraid, be very afraid" banter. So, that means the Department of Homeland Security is getting better and better at its job of protecting the American people from terrorists, right? Well, actually it turned out that the info the advisory was based on was over three years old, dating it before 9/11. Good job, DHS! Keep up that timely information.
Canunck Knocks
This section talks about Canadian affairs, both national and local.
I can't say I pay attention to the Canadian mainstream media much more than the American news media. A little CH News here and there as well as the Newsgroup newspaper (Victoria News, Saanich News, etc.) for local fare, and the CBC once in a while for national coverage. CFAX 1070AM is decent radio. As far as alternative news sources go, Monday Magazine is about it for me right now. There's just not enough excitement and misinformation to report like there is in the US, dammit!
The only thing I have to report this week is how I can't stand CH television news. They've gone US-style exploitation big time. Is it just me, or did it get worse after they were bought by the Chum conglomerate? Maybe it's just a coincidence (yeah, right!) The other option, "The New VI", was a great alternative at first. It had tons of local content, along with a young, upbeat, and energetic news staff. But lately they laid off a whack of staff, cut local programming, and basically removed everything that made them different than CH. Apparently, the bosses back in Ontario weren't happy with ratings, so the ax came out and now there's a whole lot of folks in the media industry looking for a new employer.
Your Brain on Drugs
This section is about drug reform.
I want for all drugs to be legal. Yes, even cocaine, heroin, everything. There, I said it! And no, I'm not in favour of complete anarchy with junkies littering the streets and an end to any form of civilization, resulting in "the zombie people." I'm not in favour of anyone, any age, walking to 7-11 and ordering a shot of heroin. I believe everything has its limits. But for some strange reason, I have a belief that people can make up their own minds about what to put in their bodies. I also don't believe that drug laws do anything to reduce the harm associated with drug use and drug abuse.
Whether you like it or not, I'm going to educate every last one of you about drug reform. It's my passion. I believe that prohibition is the biggest hypocrisy and threat to a free society. I believe our drug laws are the reason for most crime and poverty. Prohibition, along with the mind-set of prohibition, is the greatest evil our society faces. Prohibition has the magical effect of creating the very problems it pretends to fix. It will never work. Its hidden agenda is about control, power, money, and subjugation of the masses. Believe me, there are a lot of people making a lot of money because of drug prohibition. And they don't care if your little Johnny becomes a crack addict--as long as they can make money off the plight of him and others like him, while saving face in the public's eye by pretending to care, in order to assume more power. That's all that matters to them. Humanity is a distant second to money and power. It's sad, but yes, there are people in the world with power and money who simply care about themselves and their egos. They are 'possessed' by their ego, and live only to feed it more money and more power. You can accurately say they're addicted.
But fear not, dear reader. There are people like myself, and perhaps you too, who have opened their eyes and can see the mask these wannabe despots wear. My goal is not to preach to the choir. If you want to debate the merits of drug law reform, I could write a book on it and send it to you! I keep up to date my knowledge of what's going on with drug-related matters. I will share some of these with you.
Canada
This week PM Paul Martin said he'd re-introduce a bill that would decriminalize possession of small amounts of cannabis. (The last bill died when the election was called.) Is this a good thing? Well, maybe. StatsCan's recent survey found that about 16% of the population smoked pot in the last year. Our national crime rate went up last year for the first time in a decade, and that was largely due to drug-related arrests. About one-half of drug charges are for possession of pot. So, if you decriminalize cannabis possession, then a large number of drug charges won't be laid, thus lowering the official "crime rate". Also, for us BC'ers, we smoke the most weed and also have the highest arrest rate for it (despite what the media says about the west coast's "lax" pot laws). So we won't risk getting arrested and cops will have more time finding murderers and rapists.
On the other hand, now that they can stop anyone for weed and ticket them with a fine, it will be so much easier for Johnny Law to have an excuse to harass pot smokers. You see, some cops actually have a conscience. I suspect a few of us (including myself) have been caught with a small amount of weed and the cop looked the other way, him not wanting to deal with arresting us and straddling us with a criminal record. Now though the fuzz won't feel too bad at all giving us a ticket for pot--after all, a small fine (say, $200) for smoking a joint is justified, right? Ha!
The other problem with simple decrim (and not outright legalization & regulation) is that it will do nothing to stop the underground economy, the organized crime, and the stigma associated with being a pot smoker. So, in the end, decrim is just a smokescreen to allow the government to say they did something without actually doing much. I'd love to say I'm surprised, but...NOT!
US
In the states, the Grand Master in the war on drugs, there's an election coming up. No, I'm not talking about the one with a bad guy versus a really bad guy. I mean voter-sponsored referenda. Several states such as Arkansas, Alaska, and Oregon have initiatives to reduce penalties on pot and/or legalize medical use state-wide. Even in the city of Detroit, residents told local officials to, "Just Say No" to harassing medical marijuana users. Although federal and state government officials are almost universally opposed to medical pot (even though 80% of the American population supports medical marijuana), the tide is changing and one day they will have no choice but to listen!
For now, though, the US Feds are staunchly opposed to cannabis. In fact, in a desperate attempt by the drug czar, John Walters, to demonize weed in the public's eyes, he has directed that funds be diverted from fighting hard drugs like cocaine and heroin towards fighting the evil menace of "super-potent" weed, such as the (in)famous "B.C. Bud". (As a side note, apparently the Feds don't understand that BC Bud is not a strain. It's like saying 'American cars' are a super-potent form of transportation. Some are, some aren't.) You've gotta love these guys: "Science? We don't need science. Science is for pussies! Truth? Truth is whatever we tell people it is."
World
Recent news on the world stage is troubling, to say the least. In Columbia, it was just revealed that the US State Department had on its list of suspected "drug supporters" one Alvaro Uribe back in the 1980s. Mr. Uribe was a close friend, allegedly, of Pablo Escobar, who at the time was head of the largest cocaine-exporting organization in the world. What is Mr. Uribe doing nowadays, you might wonder? Did he get caught and extradited to the US to face a laundry-list of charges? Did he get killed in the violent civil war that the US helps fuel? Nope. He's now known as Mr. President. The President of Columbia, to be precise. He's now considered a staunch supporter of America's "Plan Columbia", which just this week showed no effect on the supply of cocaine in the US. That's despite aerial spraying of crops, a war on the leftist FARC forces, shooting down suspected cocaine-carrying planes, yada yada yada. What's Uncle Sam's response to the lack of results...of course, more of the same! They seem to believe, "If something doesn't work, then try again, but this time do more of what didn't work." Wow. Results, who needs'em? Ha!
Getting to Know You
This is one of my personal favorite sections. It's kind of like the Playboy Playmate of the Month, except (usually) without the naked people. If you want to be in the spotlight, just send me the sections with your info instead of mine, or create your own custom sections.
Name: Daniel Tourigny, goes by "Dan" or "Danny T Porno Star" to some people
Age & Birth: 25 years old; born in Chicoutimi, Quebec on November 16, 1978
Sign: Scorpio
Brothers & Sisters: None
Pets: 2 cats, Tom (13.5 years) & Doobie (5 years)
Currently Lives: With his mom in a condo in Victoria, BC. (HI mom!)
Passion in Life: Learning, growing, changing the world for the better
Background & Education:
"I grew up in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba. I was in a military family. I was a pretty popular kid. We moved to Victoria when I was 9. Adjusting was hard. I had a tough time making friends. I got teased a lot early on, and spent a lot of time by myself. I got a little bit fat. It was hard sometimes, but on the other hand I learned a lot about myself and became a very independent-thinking person. I didn't rely on doing things for other people's benefit--only for my own. Sometimes I could be selfish, but because I know that about myself I've grown to temper that part of myself.
"Things got better in high school, where I attended Belmont Senior Secondary. I was a good student and graduated in 1996. Not knowing what I really wanted to do for a living, I went into Business at the University of Victoria. I graduated in 2000 at the top of my class and became a business consultant, helping local small businesses with their problems.
"Recently I became tired of helping other small businesses and wanted to start one of my own. Although I haven't 'made it' financially speaking, I know I'm a lot better prepared to do so than when I graduated UVic."
Favorite Sports to Watch: Hockey, NASCAR, Poker, Soccer
Favorite All-Time TV Shows: The Trailer Park Boys, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Three's Company, Seinfeld, Joe Schmo
Current TV Highlights: Lots of reality shows (The Casino, The Simple Life, Big Brother 5, Amazing Race, etc.); Ali G in da USA; The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; Jimmy Kimmel Live
Favorite Movies: Braveheart, Apollo 13, The Godfather, Vanilla Sky, Hellraiser II, Wall Street
Favorite Music: "It used to be Weird Al and AM Oldies, but now I'm all over the board." Techno (Paul Oakenfold; Infected Mushroom); Classic Rock (Led, CCR, The Doors, Queen, Neil Young); Pink Floyd; Country (Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash); Jazz (Richard Cheese); Pop (ABBA); Rock (AC/DC, G'nR); Tenacious D; Simon & Garfunkel; Reggae (Bob Marley); Elton John; Rap (NWA, Snoop Dogg); Heavy Metal (Iron Maiden)
Favorite Web Sites: mapinc.org, alternet.org, theonion.com, NASCAR.com, bodybuilding.com
Hobbies & Interests: Self-development; health & nutrition; weight training & yoga; skiing; horseback riding; bowling; politics & world events; astronomy; spirituality; drug reform; smoking pot with friends; getting drunk and singing karaoke; environmental issues; science-fiction; occult & the paranormal; computers & the Internet
Favorite Books: George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four; Dr. Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intention; Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time; C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia
Favorite Saying: "I'm just a sober man in a drunk man's world."
Final Thoughts: "At the age of 25, I feel many years older and hopefully wiser too. I've grown up lots in the past few years and have learned some tough lessons. Times haven't always been easy. But I discovered that beyond anything, I have faith. Faith in yourself, in humanity, and in the universe. This is what I believe to be the most important belief to wake up to everyday. But remember, it's not about you. It's about everyone and everything and we only matter as individuals when we exist in the context of everyone and everything else."
Web Site of the Week
Masturbate for Peace
http://www.masturbateforpeace.com
"There's no greater antidote for war than love. Feelings of hatred and distrust form the necessary basis of armed confrontation. Replace those negative feelings with love and you're halfway towards resolution of any conflict."
Word of the Week
Ballyhoo noun (Slang) advertising; bombast.
Dan’s Book Club
Power Reading: The Best Course on
Speedreading and Comprehension Ever Developed!
If you ever wanted to read faster and be able to comprehend what you've read better, then this book is for you. This book has references from a myriad of people; amazon.com reader reviews gives it 4.5 stars. All it takes on your part (aside from reading the book of course!) is 15 minutes a day for 30 days. I've only started it myself but already I've broken some of my old habits that has kept me from improving my reading speed. Anyone can learn to speedread!
TV Land
Although I love to read, I sure as hell love watching TV too! I used to watch as much as 50 hours a week back in the day. My friend Neil even did a study on my TV habits once for a class. No more 7+ hour days watching TV. But I do find time for both entertainment and infotainment.
Are you watching Joe Schmo 2? If not, why not? It's easily the funniest show around. Whether you love reality TV or if you'd rather hang yourself, it doesn't matter. This show mocks reality TV. It's satire at its best. This is a must-see for everyone!
Catch Schmo 2 on SpikeTV (channel 30 in Vic) Mondays at 8:05pm PST. It's also repeated during the week.
Music Mania
Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine
I can't say I'm the most informed about the music scene, but I do know what I like! Lately, I've fallen in love with Richard Cheese. Picture a hard-core rocker or rapper in Las Vegas. Richard takes songs like Wheezer's Hash Pipe, keeps the lyrics the same but adds a Las Vegas lounge-singer style. I first saw him on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Look for him online--he's damn hard to find in music stores. If you're an evil music-downloader, just type his name and download his songs. He's absolutely amazing!
Product Placement
The Healthy Juicer
Do you want to get healthier? Of course you do! There's nothing better to repair and rejuvenate your body than a fresh glass of fresh juice. Making your own is the best way to get vitamins, minerals, and enzymes--all of which help remove the harmful toxins we eat from our North American garbage diets.
Most juicers cost hundreds of dollars, are tough to clean, and vary in quality greatly. I found the Healthy Juicer from searching on ebay.ca for wheatgrass juicers. Wheatgrass, of all the fruits and vegetables, is by far the best. It's cheap (about $50 Canadian), durable, small, and works awesome. If you want a juicer that does any fruit or vegetable, including wheatgrass (normally you'd need a separate juicer for wheatgrass), goto http://www.feelbettersite.com and order yours today...you won't regret it!
Dan’s Learning Centre
Wheatgrass: The Superfood
Today's lesson is about wheatgrass. Some of you may have heard of it, but don't feel left out if you haven't. I hadn't heard of it until I went past Jugo Juice at Mayfair Mall. It's a healthy juice bar and I tried a shot one day. Sure, it tastes like freshly mowed grass, but when you uncover what it contains, it will blow your mind.
First of all, wheatgrass is the only known sustenance that has been shown in the lab to continually sustain generation after generation of healthy herbivore, without any other kind of food--just wheatgrass and water kept them healthy. Wheatgrass contains all of the vitamins and minerals your body needs to prosper. It contains 17 of the 20 amino acids your body uses to build proteins, including all 8 essential aminos. It contains a high amount of chlorophyll, which has been shown to cleanse the blood. In fact, it acts similarly in the blood stream to our own red blood cells.
The health benefits of wheatgrass are amazing. It cleanses
the body while providing it with an abundance of nutrients. Using it has even
been shown to
eliminate body odour! Holy stinkless, Batman! It provides an
energy boost. It help regulate metabolism and provides helpful enzymes.
It's easy to grow wheatgrass. All you need is a little bit of space. I have one on my balcony where I'm living. If you're growing your own, a supply of wheatgrass works out to only a few pennies a shot--and replaces a bucketful of veggies!
I recommend The Wheatgrass Book by Ann Wigmore if you want to learn more about wheatgrass, or do a Google search for "growing wheatgrass". You can find enough info on how to grow it on the Internet without buying the book. Of course, if you're interested you can email me and I'll send you more info!
Master-debating: Question of the week
This Week's Question: Should the federal government decriminalize marijuana, given the pros and cons?
It's Quotation Not Quote!
Assist, Don't Insist -- Daniel Tourigny
Kittie Corner
In this section, I talk about something to do with pets/cats, my cats, or just show a picture of my cats.
Doobie (the black one) and Tom, in his favorite too-tiny box.
NASCAR Nellies
In NASCAR news...gear up, boyz and girlz! It's time for the Brickyard 400!!! Arguably the biggest race of the year right behind the Daytona 500. It takes place at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, home of the Indy 500. But it's stock cars this week baby! Vroom Vroom Vroom and Bogety Bogety Bogety! Catch it on NBC starting at 10:30am Sunday.
In other NASCAR news, last week Jimmy Johnson was fined $10,000 for putting a Lowes sign in front of the Powerade bottle they placed atop his car in the Winners Circle. WTF?? Clearly, NASCAR has been sucking sponsors' dicks a little to much lately!
Ask Dada Dan
Question: "Dear Dada Dan: I've think I've been using too many drugs lately. I get shit done, but I don't feel 100% and something's just telling me maybe I should look at slowing down. My question is, what's the best way to see for myself if I'm taking to many drugs?" -- Dazed & Confused
Answer: "Well, Dazed & Confused, that's a very good question. It's easy to take some many substances so often that you don't remember when you started and how much you've taken over a certain period of time. You don't want to wake up one day in jail or on the street wondering, 'What happened? How did I get here?'
"First, know that you're can't have an addictive personality for my prescription to work. Those people who are genetically prone to addiction shouldn't take any substances, because there's no telling how far you'll go. But for most people, using drugs (and when I say that I mean alcohol and tobacco and coffee too!) is a choice--albeit sometimes not the best. But like anything that should be done in moderation, it should be monitored.
"The best way to check if you're taking to many drugs is to start writing it down. Today, yes today, starting marking on a calendar every single time you consume a drug. For example, on my calendar, I use a 'D' for drunk, a 'C' for cocaine, an 'X' for a pot-free day, and an 'O' for a pot day. If you're crazy like me, even use proportions, like 1/2 and 1/4, so for example you might have had only a few drinks that day so put '1/2D' on your calendar.
"I have found that by this method, you can go back whenever you want (at least once a month) and check what you've taken and when. Then you can objectively decide if you're on track or if maybe it would be a good idea to slow down. It's easier to slow down, too, when you have to write it down. There's no forgetting about what you've taken! Oh, and very importantly, don't lie to your calendar! It defeats the purpose."
Letters from the Funny Farm
Write me letters here and I'll post them!
Final Word to and from the Wise
It's been an privilege and an honour writing this newsletter. Thank God for the Internet because without it my communication would be severely limited. I'd be relegated to having stoned or drunk (or sometime sober) discussions with a couple of people. Most likely these life-changing talks would be forgotten. Now, they're with the world forever!
Hahahaha!!!!