A Cowboy's Guide to Life
- Never squat with yer spurs on.
- There are two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
- Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is
probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
- If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.
- After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
- If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
- Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
- It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
- Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
- Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
- Good judgement comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgement.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
- If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to
make sure it's still there.
- When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
surprised if they learn their lesson.
- When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown round
by somebody else.
- Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
- Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important
to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back
in your pocket.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- A good horse never comes in a bad color.
- Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
- There are three kinds of men:
1. The one that learns by reading
2. The few who learn by observation
3. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves