This is a handstiched quilt that was given to Marko and I by my cousin in law Stacy. She had made most of it before we lost Maia. It says "a star is born", little did we know just how true that would be.

welcome to the memorial page of
Maia Milisavljevic
April 22nd, 2004 ~ 6:32pm-10:57pm

The hospital provided us with these moulds of Maia's hand and foot. The details are amazing and to us they are our most prized possession, we will be forever grateful to the staff at the special care nursery at BC Women's Hospital for taking the time to make these. Although they are often difficult to look at, they are a physical memory we will always have of her.

the sitting time

Don't listen to the foolish unbelievers
who say forget.
Take up your armful of roses and
remember them
the flower and the fragrance.
When you go home and do your sitting
in the corner by the clock
and sip your rosethorn tea.
It will warm your face and fingers
and burn the bottom of your belly.
But as her gone-ness piles in white,
crystal drifts,
it will be the blossom of her moment
the warmth on your belly
the tiny fingers unfolding,
the new face you've always known,
that has changed you.
Take her moment, and hold it
as every mother does.
She will always be
your daughter.
And when the sitting time is done you'll find
bitter grief could never poison
the sweetness of her time.

~joe digman

These were tulips my Mom brought to the house shortly after Maia died. The sat on our patio and bloomed for weeks after.

This was a stuffed animal I saw in the toys r us a few months after Maia died and I don't know why but it made me instantly think of her and I bought it. It now sits on the top of our computer and I chat with it sometimes in the evening. I know it's crazy, but I guess grief is a little like that sometimes.

This is the box we finally settled on for Maia's ashes. One of the biggest differences in my personality since we lost Maia is my inability to make a decision. It took us over a week to phone the funeral home to make arrangements, the thought was too much. Thankfully, in the end Marko did the calling. Upon our intial visit we realized that we needed a container for her ashes. We knew we wanted something unique and thought wood would be appropriate but didn't know where to look. After 3 days of searching, multiple incidents of me breaking down and crying on the sidewalk, we landed at an art gallery on Granville Island where they sold these wooden boxes called "Boogie Boxes", they are made out of driftwood found along the coast of BC, so it is all native wood. Each piece is individual and handcrafted from one piece. On first glance we didn't see one we liked and I almost broke down again but I decided to ask if they had more, it turned out they had an entire cupboard of them and when she pulled them out we both saw this one and instantly knew,
it is made from maple.

A bouquet given to Marko and I by my uncle Bill and aunty Gail, they had it delivered to the hospital, it was beautiful gesture.

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." Maya Angelou

(thanks to Kim for that one!)

Marko and I were married on September 30th, 2004. We wanted to remember Maia at the ceremony, but being conscious of the fact that we were there to celebrate and not wanting to dampen the mood, we lit this candle as a solution, it sat on the mantle above the fireplace in recognition of her presence in the room. There were only a few of us who knew it's significance, but it was important for me to have it there. It is me you see sitting in the chair through the mirror. We still have the candle and I light it on nights when I want to feel closer to her.

"If I dream I have her
then I have her
and she will always be mine"

This is a quilt that I made for Maia. After visiting the funeral home I couldn't bare the thought of her being cremated without a piece of us with her. I decided to make a quilt for her to be wrapped in. I only had 2 days to get it done. Once again I broke down in the fabric store, it didn't help that a lady was there with her newborn buying fabric for a baby blanket, luckily Marko and my brother Aaron were there to calm me down. Having finally decided on the fabric I set to work. It was my labour of love. I'm not sure I believe that she is somewhere and the quilt is keeping her warm, but it's a nice thought and I am glad to have had the chance to make her at least one thing, it's a a small way to make up for the lifetime of things I'll miss out on.