Post-Op Sex Comments

I am writing this because it seems the questions I get asked the most by pre-op transsexuals concern sexual functioning after surgery.

I have not had a lot of sexual experience in my life. In my former life, I had one sexual relationship with a woman in 1985-86. I never had sex with a man before surgery. Since having surgery, I have not masturbated, and only began having intercourse with my boyfriend (now husband) Stephen in September, 2001. However, I do have some experiences to report which do seem to indicate that basic sexual functioning is intact.

On January 22, 2001, approximately six months after surgery, I had an intensely erotic dream that led to an orgasm that woke me up around 6AM.

On March 20, 2001, I had another such dream. This time I noticed that there was a sticky discharge in my panties that seemed to have come from the urethra (it was too high up to have come from the vagina). It smelled like semen. I contacted the office of Dr. Meltzer, who was the surgeon who performed my vaginoplasty, and asked whether this discharge was normal. Here is their reply:

"It is actually quite normal to experience this. The fluid in question comes from the prostate. One of the jobs of the prostate (before surgery) is to provide some fluid during ejaculation. Since the prostate is still in the same place (which is around the urethra), it still secretes in much the same way. The other job of the prostate is to constrict and help control the urine stream, and to keep urine from leaking all the time. So, during arousal, the prostate will produce fluid and drain from the urethra."

I had similar experiences on January 9, 2002 (with discharge), February 13, 2002 (no discharge) and April 15 &16, 2002 (large discharges) and April 18, 2002 (small discharge). I have realized there is a strong similarity between the feeling of an impending orgasm and an intense need to urinate. As a result, I think a number of times I woke up thinking I was going to need to urinate, when in fact something more pleasant would have come along if I had waited. In the April 15, 16 &18, 2002 cases I did recognize this even in my mostly asleep state and allowed things to happen. Very nice.

Other occasions when this has happened: April 25, 2002; May 1, 2002; August 20; almost on August 31 (I thought I had to urinate, so I got up and then realized I should have stayed in bed!); September 12.

In 2003: February 10; March 10 (large discharge); March 16 (small discharge); July 11 (small discharge); July 21 (small discharge); July 28 (small); September 24 (small); December 27.

In 2004: January 13; February 2; March 20; approx. Dec 20.

In 2005: March 12, 13, 30; September 29.

On Monday, April 30, 2001 my boyfriend (now husband) Stephen and I went to the STD clinic and had ourselves tested. We got the results on Thursday, May 3. We were both negative for everything. However, I had my labiaplasty on May 16, 2001 and there was a six-week waiting period after that to make sure everything healed properly.

September 1, 2001 we had intercourse for the first time. Based on my experience to date, my summary is that I have much, much less physical sensation than prior to hormones and surgery (perhaps 80% less), but much more emotional satisfaction. I definitely do get aroused and do have an interest in sex, but have not had an induced orgasm apart from those "accidental" ones reported above.

I have purchased a very high quality vibrator (Wahl 7) and several attachments, but have not yet had a lot of time to play around with them.

Penetration seems to be difficult without dilating right beforehand, as the muscles at the mouth of the vagina seem very tight. I contacted Dr. Meltzer about this and he recommended using a larger dilator to stretch them. I started by using the #4 which he included in the kit we were given, and later moved up to a special order #5. This still has not completely eliminated the problem, perhaps because I haven't yet had time to do this on a daily basis for a sustained period.

One positive surprise was that it is generally stated that intercourse will require lubricant, because there is no mucosal tissue in the vagina to produce lubricating secretions. I am not sure what does the job, but we don't always find lubrication necessary; perhaps body sweat alone is sometimes enough.

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Page Created: April 6, 2001. Last Updated: October 27, 2005.