Christmas Eve, Rome:
Dawn holds up a slowly rotating Christmas ornament,
and remembers the night she first learned her big sister was the Slayer.

Of course it never happened that way. This is the real version:

1. Christmas Eve, Sunnydale: Buffy’d been caught by surprise in the park, packing nothing but a bag of gifts. Bam! Pow! Biff! Whack! Nutcracker kick, wicked pun - who’d have thought you could use a Dancing Santa for a stake? That was Buffy’s life. But the aftermath: party dress covered with vamp ash, trampled presents everywhere. Bowed shoulders, weight of the world - her mom’s Dancing Santa a total write-off. So she picked up the pieces and trudged homeward. Knowing she’d be up, fixing things, till dawn. That was Buffy’s life.

2. Then she saw the Mysterious Monks. Guys in robes, chanting in the night: never a good omen. “Her salute we. Slayer, you with is Gurnenthar green--” Oookay. Obviously, Demon Monks. She said, “Hi boys. Guess what? I’m the ghost of Christmas dinner, and your goose is cooked.” “Alone fight longer no you, Slayer--” “Beast the against stands who she, Gurnenthar praise all!” Damned if they didn‘t just keep chanting. “--ascend yet shall who, ahead lies yet hour whose--” “--key the hide to, strength us grant, return in, and--” “Oh, great,” she said. “Christmas Eve, and why do I always get the funny ones?” But her fists went straight through them, her kicks only sent her flying. Damn! And they faded away, leaving her alone - nothing but a whisper lingering behind them: “--dawn of gift the have to you wishes only Gurnenthar.” And Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah. This is my life.”

3. Green flash. “What the--?!” “Green Gurnenthar is with you, Slayer. We salute Her.” And she said, “Now I’m ticked. Get ready to receive the gift of pain--” But her best blows still went right through them, like they weren’t even there. “Slayer, you no longer fight alone--” “All praise Gurnenthar, she who stands against the beast!” Gurnenthar? “--whose hour yet lies ahead, who shall yet ascend--” “--and, in return, grant us strength, to hide the key--” Oh, yeah. Even Buffy had heard of Gurnenthar the Good Demon, the Green One - who would ascend from demon into human form. But the official line on the Great G was that Her ascension lay in some hazy distant future, duh. So Giles had said. “--Gurnenthar only wishes you to have the gift of dawn.” What’d they said? Dawn? And then--