TELLING/REPORTING’ and ‘TATTLING

(school counselling home page)

Barbara Colorosa, in her book “The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander.” makes a powerful distinction in the way we use words. She points out the difference between the words of ‘TELLING/REPORTING’ and ‘TATTLING.’ In tattling the goal is to get the other child in trouble. In telling/reporting the goal is to get the teller or another child out of trouble. If telling meets both the getting other children into trouble and getting other children out of trouble, then the child needs to tell/report. She suggests that if the information is tattling, the children should keep the information to themselves. However, if the information fits the telling criteria of getting someone out of a bad situation or sticking up for one’s right to feel safe, then the child needs to inform an adult. Teaching children these distinctions gives them a useful tool and helps them to discern when to keep quiet and when to report.