A few words about beauty, body image, cosmetic surgery and more:
ace beauty journalist Beth Sharp Middleton recently spoke with Sharleen
Jonasson, author of the novel It's My Body and I'll Cry If I
Want To.
BSM: Why did you write this novel satirizing the pursuit of extreme
beauty? Were you reacting to these 'extreme makeover' TV shows currently in
vogue?
SJ: When I sat down to write It's My Body, the whole
phenomenon of 'reality TV' showing women getting all kinds of cosmetic
surgeries was still unheard of.
But even then, I was bothered by how smart women continued to be negatively
affected by our culture's idea of what is beautiful. Why are girls and women
sucked into believing that beauty is only what you see in the glossy pages of
a magazine? Why do we swallow the idea that beauty means being five foot
eleven – with four feet of that leg – and weighing 100 pounds – with 35 pounds
of that perfectly round breasts and another 20 pounds of it lips?
Women with model-like bodies are a minute proportion of the female
population. Many of the bodies we see in ads are computer-enhanced as well. So
why feel bad if you don't look like these images?
BSM: So, you wrote this novel to answer these questions?
SJ: Brighter minds than mine have yet to come up with a simple
answer. I think it's pretty obvious, though, that the solution to the whole
body image issue begins with appreciating your own uniqueness. But how do you
do that? Some therapists suggest you stand naked in front of a mirror and look
at yourself, really look at each part of your body in turn, and love your body
simply because it's yours. It sounds good. But I can tell you, I tried it, I
stood naked in front of my bathroom mirror and looked hard at my thighs, and
my predominate thoughts were not love. I felt not even a twinge of affection
for my knees.
BSM: Knees can be a problem.
SJ: But every pair is unique. 'Love your body's uniqueness' – that's
a great vantage point from which to view your body, but how do you get there?
Ultimately, It's My Body and I'll Cry If I Want To is the
dramatization of one woman's journey to that place.
BSM: An average woman.
SJ: Yes. I like to think of her as kind of an Everywoman.
BSM: How did you start?
SJ: The catalyst for this novel was a mirror. About five years ago,
I started to notice real changes in my appearance. (This was partly to do with
a bathroom renovation we were doing at the time; we got one of those vanity
mirrors with the row of floodlights across the top.) Yeah, I know: love your
wrinkles, celebrate the signs of aging, blah, blah, blah. I didn't want to
admit I was concerned about looking older because it hurt my lingering
feminism. I've always been aghast at the violence done to healthy bodies in
the name of beauty. But I asked myself if I would take advantage of any of
these treatments if they were truly harmless. And if I did, when would I be
satisfied?
I have to say that at times beauty almost seemed a frivolous topic to write
about – so silly, all of us grown women know beauty is not something we worry
about, right? And yet, we do, to varying degrees. And perhaps what you do
about it has more to do with money issues than values.
BSM: What research did you do for this book?
SJ: I started paying more attention when the subject of beauty
issues came up in conversations. Here's a tip: if you want to hear women talk
more honestly about how they feel about beauty and aging, ask them after
they've had a few glasses of wine -- I found parties can be a gold mine for
this type of research. I also read a lot of books on issues of female beauty.
And naturally I had to sample some treatments at a state-of-the-art spa. This
was fairly expensive research, and in some ways a lot of fun. But I have to
say that while I was taking a tour of the whole facility ('undercover', posing
as a prospective customer, just as the heroine of It's My Body tours
the fictional Beauty Institute) I found it hard not to laugh out loud at some
of the things my guide showed me. You really have to have more money than
brains to take them up on some of those treatments. Though I have to admit my
skin felt softer for days after the mud wrap. And if facials were less
expensive I'd have more of them.
BSM: Why do women continue to feel inadequate when they look in the
mirror? What's the biggest factor?
SJ: The biggest part of the problem is, obviously, the
representation of the female ideal in the media. I was recently in the U.K.,
and I spent some time perusing British women's magazines. One of the first
differences you notice is the European attitude toward nudity. One magazine
featured a photo spread of naked women, an average-reader-type group –
ordinary women, naked, women with breasts and buttocks and waists
of varying sizes and shapes, thighs with dimples – and it was startling. Why?
Because we almost never see bodies of ordinary women in the pages of magazines
here. (However, the purpose of this realistic nudity was hard to take: The
title of the spread was, "Which body type does your boyfriend prefer? Show him
these women and find out!" Yuck.)
But the thing was, I was amazed at how, immediately, I felt better about my
own body. Because I defy any woman to look at a model in a magazine and not,
on some level, compare herself to that model.
I would love to see more of this kind of thing, ordinary healthy female
bodies – minus the stupid bit about showing the photos to your boyfriend to
judge, of course.
BSM: Has writing this novel changed you?
SJ: I'm more aware than ever of how female beauty is depicted in the
media. And I appreciate beauty in all its forms more than I did before. Beauty
matters, it's ridiculously idealistic to pretend it doesn't, and, in my
opinion, a waste of time to debate whether or not it should matter. The
problems arise when what's depicted as beauty strays farther and farther from
what's natural. Let me stress: There's nothing wrong with beauty, beauty is
not the problem! The problem is our increasingly narrow -- pun intended --
definition of it, and the harm we inflict on ourselves trying to attain it.
BSM: How does personal beauty rate in importance in your own life?
SJ: Less and less as time goes on. I'm in my forties and health is a
much bigger concern for me. But I'm married and happily so. Were I to suddenly
find myself single again, I can't promise I'd maintain this sensible attitude.
BSM: Are you more accepting of your own body now?
SJ: Yes.
BSM: Enough to ever pose naked for a magazine?
SJ: Not a chance. But on a good day, I might show you my knees.
Sharleen Jonasson was interviewed at her home in Victoria, B.C., Canada,
in "a little room with a computer, phone, lots of books and no mirrors" where
she is working on her second novel.