Moment's thoughts

Moment's thoughts Again, please remember that all quotes below (not including trivia) without a credit of some sort are MINE. Please advise me if you are going to take them, and please give credit to me (preferably with a link back to my page, hint hint!).

#1		If all else fails, point and laugh like hell.
#2		"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Anonymous.
#3		If you must shoot yourself in the foot, use a small weapon, like a pellet gun, so you can pick off individual toes, rather than using a cannon and blowing off everything below your knee.
#4		"Incoming fire has the right of way." - source unknown.
#5		If it is slowly crawling away, don't eat it.
#6		Any attempt to correct an error will either screw it up further, or fix it but make it look like hell.
#7		"If it is so simple that an idiot can do it then only an idiot will." - courtesy Ben Li.
#8		Regardless of what really happened, if everybody believes it, it is the truth.
#9		Everybody makes mistakes. I just make them when they count the most.
#10		Seen at a university, under a clock in an otherwise bare-walled room: "Time will pass. Will you?"
#11		Everybody has off days from time to time, but an off day almost never coincides with a day off.
#12		The worst accomplice is one who can't keep his mouth shut.
#13		The patience and tolerance of somebody else may be the only thing that saves you from the wrath of your own mistakes.
#14		If your cloud doesn't have a silver lining, find another cloud.
#15		Don't soil your pants over it.
#16		"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up." - Robert Frost.
#17		If it smells like hell, or has a horde of flies swarming around it, odds are you don't want to be sitting in it.
#18		"A closed mouth gathers no foot." - courtesy Ben Li.
#19		The whole point of a backup plan is so that you can use it if your master plan fails.
#20		The dumb kid stuffs the square peg into the round hole. The smart kid puts the round peg in the round hole and the square peg in the square hole. The brilliant kid takes the lid off the bucket and puts all the pegs in.
#21		Another question everybody is asking: why the hell didn't that work?
#22		"There has never been more damage done than by people who thought they were doing the right thing." - from The Charlie Brown Show.
#23		Watch your step.
#24		Guaranteed instant laughs: water balloon in the pants.
#25		When you belch, it should be clearly audible over a 300 metre (1000 foot) radius.
#26		"I'm going to kick you so hard you'll be wearing your ass for a hat." - from a Clint Eastwood movie.
#27		Nothing confuses people more than when things suddenly start to go right.
#28		"If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not you should kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of a doubt." - Thomas Carlyle.
#29		If you don't want the red button pressed, don't write "Don't press" on it.
#30		There are some things that it's best you don't know.
#31		Knowing that a secret exists may be half of the secret, but it's the wrong half.
#32		"So close" isn't close enough.
#33		Overcompensating can be more harmful than not reacting at all.
#34		Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.
#35		Perfect plans do exist; they just get screwed up in the execution.
#36		The rehearsal will run better than the real event.
#37		You would be surprised how much of a difference something as small and simple as a smile can make.
#38		Seen scrawled on the wall above a urinal: "Watch where you're going."
#39		Sometimes what you know hurts you more than if you didn't know it.
#40		"Pooh looked at his two paws. He knew one of them was the right, and that once you decided which one was right, the other was the left, but he could never remember how to begin." - A. A. Milne (I think).
#41		Even if the radio is on, the washing machine should not be boogying across the floor.
#42		Once something goes wrong, everything goes wrong.
#43		"If I gave my heart to you, I'd have none and you'd have two." - Crocodile Dundee.
#44		If you have nothing to lose, you may as well go for it.
#45		Sometimes you must go down with the ship.
#46		"There are more horse's asses in the world than there are horses." - courtesy Mr. J. Lazarowich, my grade 11 English teacher.
#47		You never know how much you care about somebody until something happens to them.
#48		You don't know how hard it will hit until it hits you.
#49		"Nothing occurs at random." - (source ID not consented) 7/11/1998.
#50		"Please stop dipping yourself in shit" - advice given to me by Ben Li. I really should listen to him....
#51		"Big Brother is watching you." - George Orwell. And he is not the only one either.
#52		Never, ever, underestimate the power of coincidence. My jaw is still dropped.
#53		I came, I saw, I got my ass kicked.
#54		There is so much happening right under your nose that you have no idea about.
#55		There is always somebody there who will pull your ass out of the fire if they know you are in trouble.
#56		Your actions today, insignificant as they may seem, have a hell of a big impact on what happens in the future.
#57		The "sheep in wolf's clothing" can be as dangerous as its counterpart.
#58		There is a lot more wisdom than is evident in the phrase "shut up".
#59		Play by the rules, or get kicked out of the game.
#60		Some stupid risks are worth it. However....
#61		All too many a great idea has been lost forever because they weren't written down.
#62		Yell. You'll feel a bit better.
#63		If you're going to act like an ass, make sure you have your hee-haw down pat.
#64		Cover your tail as best you can.
#65		Never rule out any possibility, no matter how ridiculous it may seem.
#66		If you will be counting on others' support, make bloody sure you actually have others' support.
#67		Come in peace. Leave in pieces.
#68		At a university, it is assumed that everybody has at least a semi-respectable level of intelligence. It shouldn't be.
#69		Make sure you know whose ass it is before you pinch it.
#70		If you do it, it's luck. If I do it, it's skill.
#71		Things rarely add up to what they are supposed to.
#72		Make sure your ass is covered at all times. Pull up your pants.
#73		"I got two words for you: no." - Johnny Bravo.
#74		The worst part about shaving your head is realizing that your head is asymmetrical.
#75		A shovel is not usually the most advisable tool to use to get out of a hole.
#76		Once you say it you can't take it back, so you better get it right the first time.
#77		The more attention you pay to your front, the more likely you are to get shot in the butt.
#78		The more you know, the more what you don't know can get you into trouble.
#79		"It is better to burn out than fade away." - Def Leppard.
#80		Only perfect people can get away with being imperfect.
#81		If there is a fire, you had best put it out before it burns the place down. However, if there is no fire, there is no need to put it out, and trying to put it out will only serve to make a mess. And if there is no fire, there is no need to start one.
#82		If a plan works perfectly, it wasn't a plan; it was an accident.
#83		"A man has 2 reasons for doing anything: a good reason, and a real reason." - J.P. Morgan.
#84		If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to see or hear it, how does anybody know it fell?
#85		It really does take a man to admit when he's wrong -- a woman would never do that
#86		Everybody wants to be in front of the camera, but nobody wants to be seen there.
#87		"Get the facts first -- you can distort them later." - Mark Twain.
#88		Anybody can say that 1+1=2, but very few people can actually prove it.
#89		Whatever you do, you better have a damn good reason for it.
#90		"When a man scratches his head, it means he's thinking. When an animal scratches, it means he's itchy." - Disney's Ludwig von Drake.
#91		In England you can be charged for "loitering with intent".
#92		"One person can make a difference, but most of the time you probably shouldn't." - Marge Simpson.
#93		Never admit defeat until there is no need to because it is so obvious.
#94		Huge pointy teeth are all the more reason for you not to mess around with it.
#95		The chance of an average Canadian being killed by lightning is roughly equal to the chance of being killed by falling out of bed, approximately 1 in 2 000 000.
#96		"Remember, when somebody annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your arm and smack the asshole in the head." - courtesy Sandy Stapleton.
#97		Don't mouth off to people who are bigger and/or stronger than you.
#98		If you are on the floor but can't remember how you got there, you probably had a bit too much to drink.
#99		"Lot of brain farting going on today." - Ben Li, 10/5/1999.
#100		"I'd like to take a P" - a Wheel of Fortune contestant.
#101		One advantage to being single is that those stories your mother loves to tell about dumb things you did as a kid aren't very dangerous yet.
#102		How many paper towels does it take to soak up all the water in a toilet bowl?
#103		"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world." - courtesy Louis Mongillo. How true
#104		"I drink therefore I am" - courtesy Ben Li.
#105		"First, I plan to soil myself. Then I'm going to regroup and come up with a new plan" - Austin Powers.
#106		When somebody yells "Fore" on a golf course, why does everybody look up to see who yelled rather than clearing the way for the incoming golf ball?
#107		"Let's see what happens." - my CHEM 331 lab instructor, 11/8/2000, right after telling me to triple the amount of chemicals I was using, which was less than 10 minutes before my experiment exploded.
#108		"Is it reacting?" - my CHEM 331 professor, who happened to be in the lab at the time, seconds after my explosion, 11/8/2000.
#109		"There are two rules for success: 1) Never tell everything you know." - Roger H. Lincoln.
#110		"This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel." - source unknown.
#111		"If I want to hear from an asshole, I'll fart" - source unknown.
#112		You never know what kind of stupid things you are capable of saying until you have a baby in your hands.
#113		The more force you use, the more resistance you meet, often so that more force is less effective.
#114		"Girls: you know a guy likes you if his snowball hits you (but not in the face)." Mine bounced off her ponytail, so that's ok, right?
#115		Efficiency: doing more work and getting paid less because you didn't spend as much time doing it as a lazy person would.
#116		It's good to have dreams, but you must never confuse your ideals with reality.
#117		"EGGHEAD LIKES HIS BOOKY-WOOK!" - Homer Simpson.
#118		"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?" - source unknown.
#119		"I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know NO-THING!" - Sgt. Schultz, from Hogan's Heroes.
#120		"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear" - Mark Twain.
#121		Food for thought: if you are an average North American, you will eat about 8 spiders over the course of your lifetime, due to them crawling into your mouth and being swallowed while you sleep. Remember that funny taste you had in your mouth one morning last week...?
#122		"i was just doing goofy stuff in the mirror" - Sarah Lonnevik, 6/29/2001. Nuff said
#123		"I hope yo ass turn into a frog." - the grandmother in The Nutty Professor.
#124		An either/or question is not looking for a yes/no answer.
#125		When a bride throws a bouquet, the scene can be mistaken for part of a rugby match. When the groom throws the garter, the only man who makes any attempt to catch it is the one it flies directly towards. Why is that?
#126		Homer Simpson's famous saying "d'oh" made it into the Oxford English Dictionary in 2001. There's just one problem: the dictionary entry is misspelled as "doh" (no apostrophe).
#127		The terms "Y2K" and "millennium bug" made it into the Oxford English Dictionary in the year 2001. How's that for keeping up to date?
#128		The world record for intestinal gas is 141 emissions in a span of 2 hours, by a man demonstrating his lactose intolerance - from a Discovery Channel Canada segment on lactose intolerance.
#129		"OH MY GOD! TRAMAMPOLINE!" - Homer Simpson.
#130		The only people you can really trust are those who you can blackmail.
#131		"The words you choose to tell the truth are as important as the decision to be truthful." - courtesy Heather Baldwin. I can't say how ironic it is that she is the one who gave me this quote.
#132		"If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why bother practicing?" - Billy Corgan, of the Smashing Pumpkins.
#133		On signs by several traffic lights in New York City and Montr�al: "Wait for green light". Well duh.
#134		If you're looking for something, look in the most obvious place first. You may save yourself a lot of time and embarrassment.
#135		Reason #92 it's good to be a guy: You think punting small dogs is funny. - source unknown.
#136		"Elvis... Elvis boy, why did y'all shoot yo' pappy in the hade with a shootin' gun fo'?" - a southern chicken hawk from a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon.
#137		"What's the use of sending a $2 million missile into a $10 tent to hit a camel in the butt?" - U.S. President George W. Bush, 9/13/2001.
#138		Back up your data BEFORE messing with it.
#139		"Think of it like diarrhea -- it builds character." - (source ID not consented), 9/26/2001.
#140		"When you reach the edge of the only light you know, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, one of two things will happen: either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." - source unknown.
#141		"Hiding things in plain sight is fun" - Ben Li, 10/24/2001. It's fun because that's the hardest place to find them.
#142		"Owww, my bottom hurts!" - Animaniacs' Wakko Warner.
#143		"Homer no function beer well without." - Homer Simpson.
#144		"Can I slog off school tomorrow? Got a pain in me gulliver." - Bart Simpson.
#145		"Deja moo: the feeling you've heard this bull before" - source unknown.
#146		"Psychiatrists say that 1 in 4 people have a mental illness. Check out 3 of your friends; if they're fine, then guess what..." - source unknown.
#147		Referees are required to know the rules inside out. You, as a spectator, player, or maybe even coach, have probably never even seen a rulebook, let alone read one. Think about that before jeering a referee.
#148		"If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is your fault." - sent to me anonymously. Thanx, whoever sent it.
#149		"Lead, follow, or buckle up because we don't brake for indecision and it's going to be one hell of a ride." - sent to me anonymously. Thanx, whoever sent it.
#150		"Stupid people make odd bedfellows out of enemies." - courtesy Ben Li.
#151		"Our [American] bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan." - source unknown. They're smarter than a lot of other people too.
#152		"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#153		"Never try to catch two frogs with one hand." - Chinese proverb, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#154		"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#155		"A friend in need is a pain in the backside." - from a Benny Hill sketch.
#156		"Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault." - Dr. David M. Burns, courtesy Lesley Hatheway.
#157		"My goodness, I had no idea. For, you see, I have been on Mars for the past decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears." - Sideshow Bob's brother Cecil.
#158		It is impossible to sleep for "just 5 more minutes."
#159		"Don't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on." - Homer Simpson.
#160		proctalgic: adj., (proct = rectum, alg = pain) pain in the ass. - Lisa Poffenroth. Yes, she really is the creator of that word.
#161		"A hush fell over the crowd, injuring six." - source unknown.
#162		The "grass is greener" saying is good in principle, but it implies that there is grass somewhere that is green... possibly a bad assumption.
#163		"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them." - E.V. Lucas, courtesy Trog.
#164		All mechanical problems can be fixed using duct tape, WD-40, or a bigass hammer.
#165		"Pappy... what do T-N-T spell?" - a southern chicken hawk from a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon.
#166		In Zulu myth, mankind was "belched up by a cow" - courtesy Trog.
#167		"dork... my dork, but still a dork" - Trog, on her boyfriend.
#168		"Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield." - courtesy Trog.
#169		"Giving up is not on my 'to do' list." - courtesy Trog.
#170		"Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do." - courtesy Trog.
#171		"No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut." - courtesy Trog.
#172		"We're going to need another Timmy!" - Mr. Lizard, the TV scientist from the TV show Dinosaurs.
#173		"Expect the worst; that way you won't be surprised." - Trog.
#174		"It's good to listen to everyone else, but in the end it's your own opinion that counts." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#175		"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#176		"Which is worse: nothing to defend, or no one to defend it?" - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#177		"No matter how righteous the cause, it helps to bring along some muscle." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#178		"It is better to fight the sand for a few hours than to sleep beneath it forever." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#179		"If you're gonna lose, at least make sure they don't win as much." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#180		"A wolf without a pack is either a survivor or a brute." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#181		"A skilled decoy can throw your enemies off your tail. A master decoy can survive to do it again." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#182		"Precision is frequently more valuable than force." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#183		"You can run from your pain, but you will tire before it does." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#184		"Death is no excuse to stop working." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#185		"Never interrupt an enemy when he is making a mistake." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#186		"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#187		"If you can't describe what you're doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#188		"He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#189		"Once the game is over, the king and pawn go back in the same box." - Trog.
#190		"If you think that something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room." - Trog.
#191		"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#192		"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#193		"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#194		"If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?" - Albert Einstein, courtesy Trog.
#195		"Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong." - former Canadian Prime Minister John G. Diefenbaker, courtesy Trog.
#196		"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#197		"We are not retreating; we are advancing in another direction." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#198		"In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#199		"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#200		"Discretion is the ability to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#201		"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to." - source unknown.
#202		"Foolproof implies a finite number of fools." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#203		"Dogs have owners; cats have staff." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#204		"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#205		"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?" - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#206		"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without sufficient intelligence." - Henrik Tikkanen, courtesy Trog.
#207		"You can spoon the dead flies out of the honey, but it won't taste as sweet to those who saw them there." - from "The Red Wyvern" by Katharine Kerr, courtesy Trog.
#208		The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. - courtesy Trog.
#209		"Want to make your computer move really fast? Throw it out the window." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#210		"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." - Eric Hoffer, courtesy Trog.
#211		"Philosophy is a study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#212		"Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#213		"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean." - G.K. Chesterton, courtesy Trog.
#214		"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." - M. Grundler.
#215		"Oh boy, what big hornytoads they do have around here!" - Bugs Bunny, after seeing the dragon that had just passed by.
#216		Be alert; the world needs more lerts. - source unknown.
#217		"Don't ever talk to strangers unless you're sure you know them very well." - Archie Bunker.
#218		"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit." - source unknown.
#219		"Feeling stupid? I know I am!" - Homer Simpson.
#220		Intuition is a hell of a thing.
#221		The problem with being nosy is that nobody tells you anything.
#222		"We'll be travelling non-stop from one end of the airport to the other, where we'll all have to get out and push." - the pilot for a discount airline on Garfield and Friends.
#223		"You cannot procrastinate -- in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday." - Kemmons Wilson, courtesy Trog.
#224		"D�j� vu - the sensation you are doing something you have done before." - from Garfield and Friends.
#224		"D�j� vu - the sensation you are doing something you have done before." - from Garfield and Friends.
#224		"D�j� vu - the sensation you are doing something you have done before." - from Garfield and Friends.
#225		The shortest route is not necessarily the fastest.
#226		"I wonder if dinosaur eggs make good French toast." - Lisa Poffenroth, 5/8/2002.
#227		"If Lisa's spewing quotable stuff, it's time for bed." - Lisa Poffenroth, 5/8/2002. She must sleep a lot.
#228		"Fuzzy Wuzzy was a duck?" - Trog, 5/8/2002.
#229		"If you chase two rabbits at once, you end up losing both of them." - source unknown.
#230		"It is better to make a mistake than do nothing for fear of making a mistake." - source unknown, as heard from Harry Neale, Hockey Night in Canada color commentator.
#231		"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, courtesy Trog.
#232		"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - former French President Charles de Gaulle, courtesy Trog.
#233		"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA basketball player, on Chicago Bulls' team chemistry being overrated, courtesy Trog.
#234		"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White House was like by a student in East London, courtesy Trog.
#235		"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery, courtesy Trog.
#236		"'I really need to know where my head is at.' 'Try looking above your shoulders on that little neck-like thing.'" - Jon and Garfield in an exchange on Garfield and Friends.
#237		"I'm a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I'm perfect." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#238		"I love working - I could watch it for hours" - courtesy Heather Kuipers.
#239		"There is no limit to what can be accomplished if it doesn't matter who gets the credit." - courtesy Trog.
#240		"I succeed by saying what everyone else is thinking." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#241		"You hate it because you don't understand it. If you understood it, you wouldn't hate it." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#242		"Some men show themselves less mercy than they would show an enemy." - courtesy Trog.
#243		"Part of being sane is being a little crazy." - courtesy Trog.
#244		"I'm not obsessed, just very very focused." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#245		"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and fat are really good friends." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#246		"Not all who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien, courtesy Trog.
#247		"You may delay, but time will not." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#248		"The purpose of life is a life of purpose." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#249		"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute." - courtesy Trog.
#250		"Good, better, best: never let it rest, 'til your good be better, and your better best." - source unknown.
#251		"An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#252		"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." - Napoleon Bonaparte, courtesy Trog.
#253		"Living in a vacuum sucks." - source unknown.
#254		"Teaching is the art of encouraging young minds without losing your own." - source unknown.
#255		"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#256		"No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#257		"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#258		Cole's law: Shredded cabbage goes well with shredded carrots and mayonnaise. - courtesy Trog.
#259		"The person standing in your way might actually be there to help you." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#260		"We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why don't we legalize it and tax it out of business?" - Will Rogers, courtesy Trog.
#261		"Several excuses are always less convincing than one." - Aldous Auxley, courtesy Trog.
#262		"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true." - James Branch Cabell, courtesy Trog.
#263		"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar." - Edward R. Murrow, courtesy Trog.
#264		"If you happen upon the skull of a dragon, leave that place quickly, for whatever killed it may still be around." - Theives' proverb, courtesy Trog.
#265		"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." - Dennis Wholey, courtesy Trog.
#266		"It's only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are." - Clive James, courtesy Trog.
#267		"When acting in the interests of health and survival, do so with a polite face." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#268		"Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know." - Daniel J. Boorstin, courtesy Trog.
#269		"The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#270		"The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do." - John Holt, courtesy Trog.
#271		"It is no use saying 'we are doing our best.' You have to succeed in doing what is necessary." - Sir Winston Churchill, courtesy Trog.
#272		"There is nothing so easy to learn as experience, and nothing so hard to apply." - Josh Billings, courtesy Trog.
#273		"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain, courtesy Trog.
#274		"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates, courtesy Trog.
#275		"Efficiency is intelligent laziness." - David Dunham, courtesy Trog.
#276		"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." - Plato, courtesy Trog.
#277		"Know your place in the world so you can return to it after your adventure." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#278		"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." - Henry David Thoreau, courtesy Trog.
#279		"One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic." - Josef Stalin.
#280		"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#281		"When they discover the centre of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to learn they are not it." - Bernard Bailey, courtesy Trog.
#282		"'Tis a brave man who wears the kilt in January." - Scottish saying, courtesy Trog.
#283		"No brain, no headache." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#284		"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#285		"Change begins with your underwear." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#286		"There is always one more imbecile than you counted on." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#287		"You can catch more rolling stones with honey than you can with moss." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#288		"The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#289		"Given a conflict, Murphy's Law supercedes Newton's." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#290		"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember the fire department usually uses water." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#291		"We're never too old to learn something stupid." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#292		"Never hit a man when he's down; he may get back up again." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#293		"Sometimes it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#294		"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#295		"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#296		"Above all else: sky." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#297		"Get the facts first, THEN panic." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#298		"When an old man dies, a library burns down." - African proverb, courtesy Trog.
#299		"Invest what you can afford to lose, but hope for winning numbers." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#300		"Welcome to the Church of Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray." - source unknown, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#301		"To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it." - Tacitus, courtesy Trog.
#302		"Be proud that you can still do what is necessary." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#303		"Sometimes it's better to be out of the way when big events are happening." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#304		"There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is the same regardless of which you take." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#305		"Find your place on the edge so you can see both inside and outside." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#306		"Set your colleagues at ease instead of playing on their fears." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#307		"The best moderator is one who agrees with all points of view." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#308		"Education can be a humbling experience." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#309		"If you don't know where you're going, follow someone who does." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#310		"A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one at all would find fault with what he has done." - Cardinal Newman, courtesy Trog.
#311		"An unfamiliar method can sometimes look like a mistake." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#312		"Knowledge will help you in ways that you can't yet determine." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#313		"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." - Earl Wilson, courtesy Trog.
#314		"Make others feel welcome even if you couldn't care less about them." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#315		"As long as you appear to be strong, trouble will keep its distance." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#316		"For a true progress report, watch other people's faces when you walk into the room." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#317		"Being soft and gentle is very different from being weak." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#318		"Be flexible or risk being paralyzed by too many options." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#319		"An accidental discovery proves to be the culmination of a long search." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#320		"Be strong when your strength is tested." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#321		"You can learn many things by watching others make asses of themselves." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#322		"True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." - Dave Tyson Gentry, courtesy Trog.
#323		"There is no point having a revolution if you don't shoot the bastards afterwards." - The Redskins, "Neither Washington nor Moscow", courtesy Trog.
#324		"Don't admit to failure just because everyone says you're likely to fail." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#325		"Recognize the possibility of harsh conditions before they become inevitable." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#326		"As long as you remain unnoticed, you can bail out with honor." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#327		"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - race car driver Mario Andretti, courtesy Trog.
#328		"If others won't accept your generosity, at least you tried." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#329		"A true hunter travels in isolation." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#330		Once you invoke a law, you are obligated to obey it. - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#331		"Take decisive action, even if you must take it alone." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#332		"You can't really sneak up on anything very well with 200 men, now can you?" - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#333		"All things are difficult before they are easy." - Thomas Fuller, courtesy Trog.
#334		"Listen to authority and take notes; some day that strong voice may be yours." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#335		"If your theory doesn't convince, your proof ought to do." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#336		"After you do what must be done, it's someone else's turn to impress you." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#337		"A fanatic can be dangerously convincing if they know all the right buzz words." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#338		"Three good things are often thrown away: a good thing for an old man, an ill-natured man, or a child, for the old man dies, the other is false, and the child forgets." - Irish proverb, courtesy Trog.
#339		"The tree remains, not the hand that planted it." - Irish proverb, courtesy Trog.
#340		"Support your colleagues, even as you pursue your own ambitions." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#341		"You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#342		"It takes both sunshine and rain to create a rainbow." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#343		"You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#344		"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#345		"It is a great satisfaction knowing that, for a brief moment of time, you made a difference." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#346		"The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#347		"Wise men learn by other men's mistakes; fools by their own." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#348		"If you choose not to decide, you have still made a choice." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#349		"A lie travels around the world while truth is still putting her boots on." - source unknown.
#350		"An ass in Germany is a professor in Rome." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#351		"Beware of a silent dog and still water." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#352		"Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#353		"Don't look where you fell, but where you slipped." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#354		"Don't use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead." - source unknown, courtesy Trog. I wonder what inspired the person who thought up that one.
#355		"Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#356		"You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#357		On a baby's bib: "SPIT HAPPENS"
#358		Dain bramaged. - courtesy Trog
#359		Ethernet: something used to catch the ether bunny. - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#360		"Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#361		"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned: Do not have sex with the authorities." - Simpsons creator Matt Groening, courtesy Trog.
#362		Kaa's Law: In any sufficiently large group of people, most are idiots. - courtesy Trog.
#363		"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#364		"Don't play with your food, especially after you've already eaten it." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#365		"When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#366		"Therapy is expensive; popping bubble wrap is cheap." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#367		"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#368		"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#369		"For sale: parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#370		"Families are like fudge: mostly sweet with a few nuts." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#371		"When man discovered milk came from cows, what did he THINK he was doing?" - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#372		"Gun control: using both hands." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#373		"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#374		"Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#375		"Any landing you can walk away from is a good one." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#376		"Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#377		"Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#378		"Marry not a tennis player, for love means nothing to them." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#379		On a bumper sticker: "This car is designed by a computer, built by a robot, and driven by a moron." - courtesy Trog.
#380		"Never cut what you can untie." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#381		"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#382		"You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the couch." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#383		Ulysses S. Grant was once fined $20 for speeding on his horse. - courtesy Trog.
#384		"You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#385		"Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#386		A single counterexample is proof that something is not always true, but no number of examples short of every example can prove that it is always true.
#387		"If there is an opportunity to make a mistake, sooner or later the mistake will be made." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#388		"Being sure mistakes will be made is a good frame of mind to catch them." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#389		"Beleeve it or not i am aktually werking and tyring two git meself en edumacation.....pleez dunt distrakt me, lev a msage!" - a "do not disturb" message from Lisa Poffenroth.
#390		The place where a problem is observed is not necessarily where it was caused (any computer programmer can verify that).
#391		Garfield's birthday philosophy #10: "If it feels good, do it. If it feels great, it won't in the morning!"
#392		Every time a rope is cut and retied, a bit of its length is lost.
#393		If there is a door you can walk through, there's no need to bust a hole through the wall.
#394		"Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!" - Homer Simpson.
#395		I was always a good spellor.
#396		Promises and threats lose their effectiveness if they are never followed up on.
#397		A beef burger and a cow patty are two very different things.
#398		Mistakes tend to hunt in packs.
#399		"I am dork" - Trog, 7/18/2002. She said that was about me, but I don't know....
#400		"When you are down and out something always turns up -- and it is usually the noses of your friends." - Orson Welles.
#401		Statistics involving a percentage, such as "100% more" can be very misleading... 100% of what?
#402		A banana is actually a type of berry.
#403		403 Forbidden - you are not authorized to view this thought.
#404		404 error - thought not found.
#405		All you Harry Potter fans already know this: the actual "Philosopher's Stone" is the unknown material that alchemists centuries ago believed would turn other metals into gold.
#406		"Don't snap my undies." - Chief Wiggum.
#407		"You can't create a monster and then whine when he stomps on a few buildings." - Lisa Simpson.
#408		"Mind the skunk! Them things can go off even after they's dead." - Cletus the slack-jawed yokel.
#409		The world record for the loudest burp is 118 decibels. See, you can learn good stuff from CNN.
#410		"Your divine spirit lives in the eternity of the present moment, as this is all that really exists." - Sri Vasudeva.
#411		It should be known that, long before the Nazis corrupted it, the swastika was, and still is, a Hindu symbol for good luck and success.
#412		What the hell is the big deal about the toilet seat anyway?
#413		"Thank God for life to enjoy things, not things to enjoy life." - courtesy Trini dude.
#414		After all these years, by now shouldn't Tweety be able to recognize a cat on the first glance?
#415		A familiar danger is often preferred over one that is unfamiliar yet less threatening.
#416		"Little spider, big shoe, SQUISH!... medium mess." - Trog the arachnophobe.
#417		"It's a 3-pronged attack: subliminal, liminal, and superliminal." - Lt. L.T. Smash, from the Simpsons.
#418		The hand doesn't need to be quicker than the eye if the eye isn't watching.
#419		The mystery has been solved! The flavor of Dr. Pepper is primarily a mix of cherry, raspberry, lemon, and vanilla flavors. - courtesy the Food Network.
#420		Second-hand knowledge is not a substitute for first-hand experience.
#421		"It's 4:00 in the morning; I can't even remember my first name." - my "Uncle" Larry, 8/16/2001, nearing the end of an overnight drive from New York to Boston, when he was asked if he remembered how to get to where we were going.
#422		"You're a menace to me, you're a menace to society, and you are a stupid head." - Ralph Kramden, from The Honeymooners.
#423		"Go thou, and fill another room in hell." - from Richard II, Act 5, by William Shakespeare.
#424		"She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her." - from The Comedy of Errors, Act 3, by William Shakespeare.
#425		"No no no no no no no no no. Ask your mother." - Homer Simpson.
#426		"Ya are? A sorcerer?! Hey, come on, let's see you sorce, huh, please, huh, pleeeease!" - Bugs Bunny.
#427		"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#428		"In case of doubt, make it sound convincing." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#429		The Human Relativity Principle: No matter how great your victories nor how loathsome your trials, there are approximately 6 billion humans who couldn't care less. - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#430		Only in Canada can you have a river that is 5 metres wide and 3 feet deep. - source unknown.
#431		Happy Birthday was the first song to be performed in outer space, sung by the Apollo IX astronauts on March 8, 1969 - courtesy Trog.
#432		"Quiquid latine dictum sit altum vidtur." ("Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound") - source unknown.
#433		"'When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.' This man is a genius!" - performed with incredible diction by John Lithgow, as Dick Solomon reading and commenting on Dr. Seuss's Fox in Socks, on 3rd Rock From The Sun.
#434		"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on." - Arthur K. Watson.
#435		"If you have to swallow a frog, don't look at it too long. And, if you have to swallow two frogs, don't swallow the smaller one first." - Mark Twain.
#436		"To pull together is to avoid being pulled apart." - Bob Allisat, courtesy Trog.
#437		"To be nobody-but-myself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." - e.e. cummings, courtesy Trog.
#438		"An inflated ego interferes with the learning process." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#439		"Risk is unbearably seductive." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#440		"Say what you mean, but put it in a way that others want to hear." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#441		"Well-meaning people can be nosy." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#442		"Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice." - H.L. Mencken, courtesy Trog.
#443		"Reality has its limitations." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#444		"Know whom you're dealing with, and be careful what you assume." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#445		"The limits of your mind are artificial and can be broadened." - source unknown, courtesy Trog.
#446		"If you never do that again I'll smack you." - Trog, 10/23/2002, after... um... hehe never mind
#447		Just because a solution has been proposed, it doesn't mean that it is the only one, the best one, or even a good one. Explore alternatives before making a decision.
#448		Which is more precise, analog or digital? If you didn't say analog, you are wrong.
#449		"I bent my wookie." - Ralph Wiggum.
#450		Make sure your pants are out of the way before you start to pee.
#451		"There's more than one fish in a woodpile." - Archie Bunker.
#452		If you tell someone you will be in a particular place at a particular time, be in that place at that time.
#453		"I could kiss you! mwah mwah mwah mwah! Yuck!" - Sid, from Ice Age: the Movie.
#454		A recent National Geographic study determined that only 14% of Americans can find Iraq on a map.
#455		"Oh drat these computers; they're so naughty and so complex. I could pinch them." - Marvin Martian.
#456		The Emergency Broadcast System was created in 1963, so that in the event of a nuclear attack, the entire U.S. population could be warned as quickly as possible. In 1971, Doomsday Central accidentally activated the EBS... but instead of the nationwide alert being issued as was supposed to happen, the manual "daisy chain" network that was supposed to relay the message across the country broke down almost immediately. Had this been an actual emergency, the sound you would have heard would probably be your ears being blown off rather than the familiar 22.5 second two-tone beep. Good to know the system worked. The EBS was replaced by the new digital EAS (Emergency Alert System) in 1997.
#457		"If there's three things I hate in this world, it's police stations, opera, and cold toilet seats." - Archie Bunker.
#458		There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win a prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. - source unknown.
#459		"DEXTER! Where are your glasses?!" - Dexter's mother, after Dexter (from Dexter's Laboratory) fell naked out of a tree.
#460		"If you drop a hammer on your foot, it does you no good to yell at the hammer." - courtesy Ben Li.
#461		"Do not underestimate the value of what you have forgotten." - courtesy Ben Li.
#462		"Failure to verify the source of bitterness causes more." - courtesy Ben Li.
#463		"What's happened has happened. The important thing now is what to do with the outcome." - courtesy Ben Li.
#464		"The gunk that collects on writing implements tastes nastier than it looks." - courtesy Ben Li.
#465		"That part of my body is not compatible with the desired maneuver." - courtesy Ben Li.
#466		"Do unto others as they have done unto you." - courtesy Ben Li.
#467		"Don't look at me in that tone of voice." - courtesy Ben Li.
#468		"'D' as in 'house'" - courtesy Ben Li.
#469		"Think with your heart or with your head, but not both for you will achieve the goals of neither." - courtesy Ben Li.
#470		"Patience is a virtue. I am not a virtuous person." - Anonymous, courtesy Ben Li.
#471		"When you argue with a fool, be sure he is not similarily occupied." - courtesy Ben Li.
#472		"He's not dead, he's metabolically challenged." - courtesy Ben Li.
#473		"Don't drink the water if it is oxidizing the water fountain." - courtesy Ben Li.
#474		"In the struggle between the stone and the water, in time, the water wins." - Chinese proverb, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#475		"The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#476		"pray: v., to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." - Ambrose Bierce, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#477		When snow melts, where does the yellow go?
#478		"MACINTOSH - Machine Always Crashes; If Not, The Operating System Hangs." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#479		"All that glitters has a high refractive index." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#480		"The quick brown fox jumped over the fence." - Bob, our computer doctor, testing our printer.
#481		"Cause and effect: you caused this effect." - Brian, on Survivor 5, as he voted for Helen to be the next to go.
#482		"It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation." - from Children Are From Heaven, by John Gray, courtesy Trog.
#483		"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ....'" - Isaac Asimov, courtesy Trog.
#484		"Pourquoi vous me splash avec white paint s'il vous plaît?" - a street line-painter in a Pépé le Pew cartoon, after a dog crashed into his paint cart, covering them both in paint.
#485		"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." - Sir Winston Churchill, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#486		"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schulz, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#487		"Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#488		"Eulogy: lavish praise too late to be helpful" - Herbert Prochnow, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#489		"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman." - Groundskeeper Willy.
#490		"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#491		"Never argue with a man carrying a water buffalo." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#492		"Vegetarian: ancient Indian word for 'lousy shot'" - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#493		"All things being equal, fat people use more soap." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#494		"640 kilobytes of computer memory ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#495		"It's a biiiig mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#496		"Impotence: nature's way of saying 'no hard feelings'" - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#497		"If there was any logic in this world, it would be men who ride side-saddle, not women." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#498		"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno, courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#499		"What's so exhilirating about strapping two sticks to your feet, flying down a hill at 90 mph, and slamming into a tree?" - Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Will Smith, on skiing.
#500		"If all it takes is an infinite number of monkeys with keyboards, how is it that A*L hasn't written any Shakespeare yet?" - Bozo the Proctologist, courtesy Ben Li.
#501		"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#502		"When you fall off a horse don't get back on because the horse probably doesn't like you." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#503		"Dyslexic man sells soul to Santa... Film at 11." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#504		RUNTIME ERROR 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent user - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#505		"Don't count your chickens before they cross the road." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#506		"Vague: adj., sort of a way you can be about things." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#507		"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling?'" - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#508		"As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#509		"Heck was created for those who refuse to believe in Gosh." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#510		"Good generally conquers evil. Unless, of course, good is stupid." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#511		"What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#512		"Three can keep a secret, if two are dead." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#513		"If a problem has a single neck, it has a simple solution." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#514		Before you can score two goals you have to score one.
#515		"We'll have a fair, unbiased, and impartial trial. Then we'll find you guilty." - Garfield.
#516		All too often the people who speak loudest about a given subject are those who know the least about it.
#517		Don't use words, abbreviations, contractions, or acronyms that you don't know the meanings of, or risk looking like an ass. There is an embarrassingly large number of people who shouldn't use the words your and you're.
#518		"Be kind to the people you meet on your way up, because you're gonna meet the same people on your way down." - Ralph Kramden, from The Honeymooners.
#519		If it ain't broke, it will be soon enough.
#520		"Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice." - source unknown.
#521		"Proofread carefully so you don't any words out." - source unknown.
#522		"Look, it's rip-proof! Oh hell...." - source unknown.
#523		"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." - Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, 9/5/2002.
#524		Slow and steady doesn't win the race against fast and steady.
#525		"Half the world is composed of idiots; the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." - Walter Kerr, courtesy Trog.
#526		"Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it is dark." - ancient Zen saying, courtesy Trog.
#527		"The future is an exciting place, but you're not there yet." - courtesy Trog.
#528		"A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world." - Edward de Concourt, courtesy Trog.
#529		"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." - Burt Bacharach, courtesy Trog.
#530		"Ignorance is more innocent than carelessness but the result is the same." - courtesy Trog.
#531		"Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." - Euripides, courtesy Trog.
#532		"While efficiency is necessary, perfection is impossible." - courtesy Trog.
#533		"The secret to success is to know something nobody else knows." - Aristotle Onassis, courtesy Trog.
#534		"Stealth is most successful when no one is looking for it." - courtesy Trog.
#535		"Owning the key to the city is less impressive when the gate is already standing open for you." - courtesy Trog.
#536		"The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them." - Samuel McChord Crothers, courtesy Trog.
#537		"To err is human; to blame the next guy, even more so." - courtesy Trog.
#538		If you can read this, thank a teacher. - courtesy Trog.
#539		"A rumor is something that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread." - Richard Armour, courtesy Trog.
#540		"It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it." - Latin proverb, courtesy Trog.
#541		"Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase - that's what wild geese are for." - courtesy Trog.
#542		"It is easier to be critical than correct." - Benjamin Disrael, courtesy Trog.
#543		"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." - Herman Wouk, courtesy Trog.
#544		"When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going?" - Douglas Gauck, courtesy Trog.
#545		"Grasshopper always wrong in argument with chicken." - Book of Chan, compiled by O.P.U. sect., courtesy Trog.
#546		"If your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either." - courtesy Trog.
#547		"It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it." - Eeyore.
#548		"You will never know if you are quick, until you poke a mountain lion with a stick." - Red Green.
#549		"The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by whoever got there first." - courtesy Trog.
#550		"Who gossips to you will gossip about you." - Turkish proverb, courtesy Trog.
#551		"If you're lucky enough to find the right woman and she's stupid enough to fall in love with you, you hang onto her like a son of a bitch." - from the TV series Everwood, courtesy Trog.
#552		"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something." - Wilson Mizner, courtesy Trog.
#553		"Good soldiers never pass up a chance to eat or sleep. They never know how much they'll be called on to do before the next chance." - Lois McMaster Bujold, courtesy Trog.
#554		"It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive." - Earl Warren, courtesy Trog.
#555		"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur." - Doug Larson, courtesy Trog.
#556		"A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students." - John Ciardi, courtesy Trog.
#557		"Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." - Elbert Hubbard, courtesy Trog.
#558		"Forgive your enemies but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy, courtesy Trog.
#559		"Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well." - Samuel Butler, courtesy Trog.
#560		"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." - Charles Wadsworth, courtesy Trog.
#561		"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway, courtesy Trog.
#562		"The most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity." - Harlan Ellison, courtesy Trog.
#563		"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege." - courtesy Trog.
#564		"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to better things." - NCAA men's basketball coach Bobby Knight, courtesy Trog.
#565		"Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house." - Jewish proverb, courtesy Trog.
#566		"What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth." - courtesy Trog.
#567		"The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools." - Doug Larson, courtesy Trog.
#568		"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." - Farmer's Almanac 1978, courtesy Trog.
#569		Even if the odds are 1 in a million, remember that particular 1 must be somewhere in the million.
#570		Everybody fits into one of two categories: people who fit everything into two categories, and those who don't. - courtesy Dr. A. Louro.
#571		Don't jump for joy if you don't have sturdy ground to land on.
#572		"There's a message in my Alpha-Bits! It says 'OOOO'." "Peter, those are Cheerios." - Peter and Brian on the TV show Family Guy.
#573		"Don't unsettle the minds of the ignorant." - the Bhagavad Gita.
#574		Some turtles breathe through their tail ends.
#575		For those of you like myself who insist on precision, a year on Earth is 365d 05h 48m 45.97s long.
#576		Why does everybody get so upset when they get caught doing something they know is wrong?
#577		"How lovely your backside is" - the earliest recorded pick-up line, used by Egyptian god Seth on god Horus, courtesy Trog.
#578		With young children, whether the older or younger sibling wins the argument is usually only determined by whether or not their parents intervene.
#579		The easiest way to get something straight from the horse's mouth is to have the horse spit on you.
#580		"I'll never let my schooling get in the way of my education." - Mark Twain.
#581		Arrested and charged doesn't necessarily mean guilty.
#582		"..." - Heather Smith, 4/22/2003. She's a real insightful one
#583		"If things fall apart when one person is absent then there is a serious problem in this office." - source unknown.
#584		"Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" - from the movie Sixteen Candles, courtesy Heather Smith.
#585		"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love." - Annie Hall, courtesy Heather Smith.
#586		"I can't understand how people can tell you in detail what happened in the first 3 minutes of the universe, but they can't tell you what the weather will be like tomorrow afternoon." - source unknown.
#587		"A rolling stone... can give you a hell of a bruise." - Mr. Quigley, on All in the Family.
#588		"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends." - Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
#589		"All good things must come to an end, but if you play your cards right, I'll be back for your end later." - Mike, playing Groucho Marx, on All in the Family.
#590		"Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep until noon." - courtesy Lisa Poffenroth.
#591		Often the only way to stay unbiased on an issue is not to know about it at all.
#592		Statements like "19 out of 20 experts agree..." and "4 out of 5 experts recommend..." all go to show one thing: there is always some asshole who insists on being disagreeable.
#593		If two things are meant to go together, it's generally a good idea to put them together.
#594		A law does no good if it isn't enforced.
#595		"some are good and sweet and loyal and cuddly, some are idiots who pee on everything" - Trog, 6/6/2003, on how men are dogs, after seeing a guy outside her window peeing on a tree.
#596		It isn't really effective hiding something in a place people would expect it to be.
#597		"I know there are many languages in this country, but I don't speak alcoholic." - comic juggler Frank Olivier, handling a heckler.
#598		"There are times when a man of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders." - Capt. Jean-Luc Picard.
#599		"I started out with nothing. I still have most of it." - source unknown.
#600		Always pay attention to detial.
#601		Emergencies don't tell you when they're going to come.
#602		"When a thief gets robbed, he never calls the cops." - Col. Hogan, from Hogan's Heroes.
#603		"How in the name of arse are you supposed to play Street Fighter with four buttons instead of six?" - from a GameSpy magazine article, criticizing the 4-button design of Nintendo's Game Boy Advance.
#604		"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." - Lewis Carroll, from Alice in Wonderland. I still haven't figured this one out.
#605		"If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops." - Red Forman, on That '70s Show.
#606		In a winner-take-all race, there is no difference between 2nd and last.
#607		"It's really really difficult to legislate against stupidity" - Alberta Premier Ralph Klein, 8/5/2003, in response to people getting drunk and drowning after falling into a lake or river.
#608		"A lie of omission is still a lie." - Capt. Jean-Luc Picard.

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