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Was Jesus married? The latest books on the subject aren't much more reliable than scandal mags speculating with supposed evidence on the hidden lives of TV stars or royalty. Mind you, Jesus just could have been married, and it's a nice thought for those of us who know the deep joy of married bliss. But, married or not, he still would have been Jesus. The problem with speculating about Jesus with the latest "shocking, new" idea, is that it can keep people from looking at what Jesus said and did, and what that says to how we live our lives today.

I often find myself remembering some sayings that have come to me in the past that I still find helpful guides. Here are some I've been thinking of lately: ** We need to know when to be gentle with ourselves, and when to give ourselves a kick to get going. ** It's okay to have a plan, but also remain flexible enough to welcome the unexpected. * * Clear the clutter of your mind of old regrets and worries, so your mind will be empty enough to receive fresh insights. ** The way to hope is to keep showing up and doing what you can, refusing to give up.

Good Friday and Easter '06 were a thoughtful time for me this year. I remembered there are still today many people like Jesus who take a stand for what is truly right, and are put down by those who find them threatening to their own agenda. The Cross is to me a moving picture of what wrong-doing, from nations promoting warfare to individual neglect of a neighbour, is inflicting on the innocent, whether in an Iraq or in our own home. Easter reminds us that in spite of widespread evil, there is another Power as well, a desire for goodness and the courage to live it. Love lives, and supporting that lived love is often a sense of a Divine Presence encouraging us with inner peace and companionship. "Jesus is risen" and we sense it. That's my view, this year, of the meaning of Good Friday and Easter.

Being close to the scene as a friend was dying of cancer, watching the caring of the family, and the thoughtful, accepting courage of Martin himself, and realizing there was much I did not know about these good people, I thought again that, if it is possible, I'd like to spend much of my "time" in "heaven" hearing the life stories of people, rejoicing in their accomplishments, relationships, and satisfactions, and appreciating God's healing from their wrongs and weaknesses.

At a 55+ church group I attend, it seems most of us have doubts about the simple beliefs we accepted when we were younger. Several of us spoke more comfortably of Mystery than of being sure. I've been thinking about that. Maybe, as we all become older, we realize that religious beliefs are more like poetry than like facts, pointers to a Truth we glimpse rather than the complete picture, poor words attempting to capture what is beyond words. We come to realize that our earlier beliefs were and still are true to a point, but are incomplete and so sometimes misleading. It's not so much that we now believe less, as that we actually believe more. What do you think?

I went to a play which used the words of Victoria painter Emily Carr. Her interpretive paintings of many forest scenes were shown while selected diary entries were dramatically read. Carr was a free thinker at a time when people were supposed to conform to proper thought and behaviour. Her cutting comments on church dogma and parsons reminded me that most churches have, thank God, made room for individuals like her. Most moving to me was that she sought, via her paintings, to represent the Holy that we may see in nature, if we look for it. In my way I too want to seek to realize the God-presence in sights and in events, instead just putting in day after day without noticing life's divine dimension that's there if we'll only look for it.

Some older ones

My Aunt Winnie died on Thanksgiving Day, '04. She was a thanksgiving person. Her 98 years had not all been easy ones, but she always found much to enjoy. Near the end, she would write me from her Kelowna nursing home about how kind the staff was, how interesting the construction she could see from her room, how wonderful to be able to be taken to church, how pleased that a friend had come to visit. I began my funeral tribute to her by saying, "My wife Selma and I often say that if and when we reach the 80's and 90's we'd like to be like Aunt Winnie and have her happy, positive, grateful spirit." It's a gift to be able to delight in many little things, a gift which can be developed. Thank you, Aunt Winnie, for showing me the way I'd like to be.

My niece Jean, not overtly religious, refers to Godness when she speaks of divinity. I like that. "God" sounds like a pal we know all about. "Godness" suggests a mystery beyond our knowing, and includes the non-personal aspects of the Creator, suggesting ideas like life-force, energy, and the like. Yes, I experience a personal dimension to God, especially, for me, in the sense of Jesus' enduring love and the Spirit's presence and guidance. But I also like to remember that God is far bigger than I'll ever know, bigger than my Christian theology can grasp, and is experienced in Creation as well as in more traditional "religious" ways. I too find myself thinking in terms of Godness.

One foggy morning in August Selma and I travelled to Vancouver on one of the large car and passenger ferries that makes the run. I was a bit surprised to see one of the crew standing on the front of the craft, hands above his eyes, looking back and forth in case some smaller boat was in the way, unseen from the bridge. "Hmm," I thought. "Aren't radar other detection devices supposed to tell the bridge what's up ahead? How come they add a human being?" I think there is some sort of parable here, about needing humans, in spite of the amazing machines that improve on what mere humans can do. I'm not sure where else this observation applies, but a sailor peering ahead from the front of a ferry has me thinking about it.

I ran across this and thought it was great. It came from a woman who heard "I wish you enough" as a parting greeting at an airport, and received the full saying as an explanation.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess
I wish enough "hellos" to get you through the final "goodbye".
Good stuff there to think about! Maybe when we want more than enough we fail to find what we need even more to really be alive. (From a free weekly e-mail called Rumors. To receive it, send an e-mail with no other message in it to "rumors-subscribe@joinhands.com".)

Selma and I do not feel comfortable in shopping malls . It's not the parking, not the crowds, not the noise. It's the consumerism , people buying and buying, when they may not even need what they're purchasing. It seems like everyone wants the latest product, shopping for fun. We even saw a sign on a ferry, "Shop 'til you dock," at the on-ship gift store, that is. Consumerism is over-consumption, pseudo-pleasure, and sheep-like following the latest fad. That's why shopping malls bother me. A better way? Enough is enough. Enjoy simple pleasures. Slow down. Know yourself. Dare to be different. Live simply.