f course, this is Midhir in disguise. He's really been working on his magic; seems to have picked up whatever Eochy had lost. He was the one who cast that crippling love spell on poor Spanky, all so that he could eventually meet Etain alone this way. He regains his natural shape all of a sudden (a lot bigger than Spanky was) and Etain, surprised, lets go of his goodies."Oh no, wait... ", says Midhir, grabbing her hand and placing it back on his crotch. "You'd, uh... better not let go. I might not tell you the truth then... y'know?...."
Etain shrugs and nods, then takes hold with both hands.
Midhir smiles and continues with the story. He tells her her true history: of who she was before she was Etain, daughter of (tah daaahhhh!!!)
Etar the Hero (YES!!), of how she was Etain the legendary beautiful daughter of King Ailill and how she, Etain, and Midhir were once great lovers.She shrugs again and adjusts her hold.
Midhir trembles slightly, eyes half-lidded, and tells her of the curse of Fuamnach and her years battling the magical winds as a big purple magical butterfly.
Etain gives a quick little squeeze.
"It's true! I swear!" winces Midhir, eyes snapping wide open.
Then he tells her how she was sheltered by Aengus for a while and was again blown away by the winds until she landed in her present mother's drinking cup and found rebirth in this incarnation, being the stunningly beautiful Etain, daughter of (dramatic Shakespearian aside)
Etar the Hero (dramatic return to "normality")."The rest you know, except that ever since, I've been searching long and hard for you," concludes Midhir.
Etain looks down at what's in her hands. "I can tell..." she nods. "Okay. I believe you." She lets Midhir's equipment go.
Midhir frowns just a bit then says, "Fair woman, will you travel by my side to the Glorious Country where music plays?"
Midhir was proud of the fact that he could turn a phrase every now and then (or so he thought).
"In that land, the hair becomes as the petal of the primrose, and the body assumes the colour of snow. Sweet gentle streams flow through the countryside , there is honeymead and flowing wine; the people are incomparable and unblemished; love has no sin, no guilt. O beauteous woman of great beauteous beauty, if you will come with me to meet my fine people, you shall have a crown of gold and myrtle and chocolate upon your head, and honey, wines, ales, sweet new milk, beers, Oreos, Juicy Fruit gum, shall all be yours there, lovely woman of incredible inconceivable incontinent loveliness."
Etain looks at him, quizzically.
She rails at him, "That is, without a doubt, the weirdest line anybody's ever used on me. Hey, I'm the Queen here. I can't just pick up and take off with you. I got responsibilities. I gotta greet the guests and stand around the castle looking ravishing and unattainable all day long and make speeches to library groups and Ladies Auxiliaries. You think that stuff just happens?" Etain raises an irresistable eyebrow, "Okay, like when can we go?"
"Right friggin' now!" laughs Midhir, taking her arm and leading her away.
"No! Wait!" says Etain, pulling back. "I don't want to do wrong by Eochy. He's been pretty good to me. I'll go if you can persuade him to let me go."
Midhir smiled, nodded, and vanished with a pop.
"No, wait!" called Etain again.
Midhir reappeared with half a pop left. "What?"
Etain ambled up close to him and snuggled into his arms. She gave him a little kiss, looked up at him all dewy-eyed and said, "You can take your big bad spell off poor little Spanky-wanky now, cantcha? Hmmm?"
"Sure, babe," agreed Midhir. "Anything for you."
He finished the rest of the pop, crushed the can with one hand to impress his girl, tossed it over his shoulder into a recycling bin (that wasn't there a second ago... nor a second later) without looking, smirked, then dug in his right nostril. He pulled out a booger, flung it away and said, "Sin é. He'll be his regular little snotty self now". Then he grabbed Etain, planted a quick kiss on her, copped a quick feel and disappeared again, with characteristic alacrity.
Etain stood looking at the empty spot where Midhir had been a moment before, touched her lips lightly, smiled, straightened her dress and skipped on down the hill toward Tara, humming to herself.
When she got back to the castle, Spanky was up and about and looking much better. He still wanted to hit the sheets with Etain, but she wasn't falling for that now. Spanky just shrugged and headed off to find a cute little chambermaid he knew.
Etain sent a messenger out to inform Eochy that his brother was up and about and then she headed off to bed alone, to dream of life at Club Med with Midhir.