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Now on
to the Funnies === Shrimp
Eater ===
A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh
shrimps,
ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the
window. After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite
him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."
ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the
window. After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite
him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."
"Listen, love." He replied, "It's got nothing to do with you, I've
paid my fare
for this journey and I'll do what I damn well want on this
train." He carried on
ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating
the shrimps.
Finally he finished the bag and
settled back for a little sleep.
The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear
while he
was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles.
was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles.
After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, "Could you
stop
that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"
that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"
"It's got nothing to do with you," replies the old woman, "I've
paid my
fare and I'll do what I want on this train."
fare and I'll do what I want on this train."
At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and threw it out of
the
window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord.
The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha, you'll get fined £200 for that!"
window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord.
The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha, you'll get fined £200 for that!"
To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years when the
police smell your fingers."
=== New Bride
===
You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to
be known as a
honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if
there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if
there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
=== Volunteers
===
On the way back to Ohio as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport,
they announced that the
flight to Vegas was full. The airline were looking for volunteers
to give up their seats.
In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the
In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the
plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to
thecounter to take advantage of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter
said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd
like to volunteer, please step forward."
FUNNY PIX OF THE DAY
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