A Lives Saver, July 4, 2000
Reviewer: Kevin Kerr (see more about me) from Arkansas, USA
The first and best book I found to help guide me through my wife's journey from abuse victim to survivor. Frank, honest & brief, Mr. Graber unveils many of the mysteries that partners of abuse survivors experience. This book helped me determine my role in this journey. I read this book many times, and reread specific sections when faced with things I did not understand. While this book is not in any way spiritually based, I must say God Bless Mr. Graber.

Dependency R Us, November 6, 1999
Reviewer: A reader from Seattle, WA
There's a lot of good material in this book, but the overriding theme gets old- that if you are involved with an abuse survivor, you must be screwed up yourself with some sort of dependency "disorder." Co-dependent, Primary dependencies, secondary dependencies- they are all here. A far better book is "Allies in Healing."

"The Sexual Healing Journey":
A Guide For Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Written by Wendy Maltz in 1991
Publisher: Harper Perennial Publishers in New York
Notes: This book even has two chapters on relationship issues, including safe touching exercises for partners and survivors.

The Survivors Guide to Great Sex:
How to Have a Great Sex Life  Even if You Have Been Sexually Abused
by Staci Haines
 ISBN: 1573440795
Publisher: Cleis Press
Pub. Date: April  1999
Edition Desc: 1 ED

A manual to the part of life all too often unavailable in a healthy fashion to Adult CSA Survivors - Practical exercises about how to get in touch with ourselves and our life partners in physical, sensual, erotic, healthy fashions. (Dennice's review)

"Broken Feather":
A Journey to Healing
Written by Suzanne Stutman in 1996
Publisher: Manor House Publications in Philadelphia, PA
Notes: This is a very moving book comprised of one woman's poetry and other creative writings dealing with her own experiences and recovery. While it may serve as an unintentional trigger for some survivors of sexual abuse, others will find it to be extremely uplifting and hopeful as you share Suzanne's journey through healing to inner peace.

"The Right To Innocence"
Healing The Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Written by Beverly Engel in 1989
Publisher: Ivy Books in New York
Notes: Has an appendix for the ones who love survivors as well.

"The Brother/Sister Hurt"
Recognizing the Effects of Sibling Abuse
Written by Vernon R. Wiehe in 1996
Publisher: Safer Society Project
Notes: The title pretty much says it all. This book deals with the effects of sibling abuse.

"Sibling Abuse"
Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma
Written by Vernon R. Wiehe in 1997
Publisher: Sage Publications
Notes: This book addresses the social problem of the abuse of one sibling by another with the testimony from survivors of sibling abuse. This book was recommended by a fellow survivor!

"Perilous Rivalry"
When Siblings Become Abusive
Written by Vernon R. Wiehe and Teresa Herring in 1991
Publisher: Lexington Books
Notes: Another book dealing with the often overlooked problems of sibling abuse and the effects that it has. This book was recommended by a fellow survivor!

"Partners in Recovery" How Mates, Lovers & Other Pro-Survivors Can Learn to Support & Cope With Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Written by Beverly Engel in 1993
Publisher: unknown
Notes: This is a great book for partners who have just discovered that their partner is a survivor. It helps them deal with their own issues about being a partner of a survivor as well as gives them some advice on how they can help their partners through this often long and painful process.

"Lesbian Passion":
Loving Ourselves and Each Other
Written by JoAnn Loulan in 1987
Publisher: Spinsters/Aunt Lute Publishers in San Francisco
Notes: This is a wonderful book written because lesbian survivors and our partners have survivor issues to deal with as well and those issues are often compounded by taught homophobia and accusations of lesbianism as a result of abuse. There is a chapter for partners as well.

"Lovers And Survivors":
A Partner's Guide To Living and Loving A Sexual Abuse Survivor
Written by Yvette S. DeBeixedon in 1995
Publisher: Robert D. Reed Publishers in San Francisco
Notes: Partners need support too, and this is a wonderful place to learn more about what is going on with your partner, how you can help, and how you can safely make sure that your feelings don't get overlooked.

"Becoming One: A Story of Triumph over Multiple Personality Disorder"
Written by: Sarah E. Olson in 1997
Publisher: Trilogy Books
Notes: Fully documented account of Sarah's four years of therapy to heal from the effects of multiple personality disorder, using actual session transcripts and letters to her therapist. This book provides hope for all survivors of child sexual abuse, not just those diagnosed with DID/MPD.

"The Courage To Heal":
A Guide For Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Written by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis in 1992 Publisher: Harper Perennial Publishers in New York
Notes: Get this book if you are a female or male survivor of sexual abuse. 

"The Courage to Heal Workbook : For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Written by Ellen Bass

"Allies in Healing":
When The Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As A Child
Written by Laura Davis in 1991
Publisher: Harper Perennial in New York
Notes: This is one of the most wonderful books ever written for partners of survivors. I suggest that all partners buy a copy of this book. It IS inclusive of all types of partners!

"Beginning To Heal"
A First Book For Survivors Of Sexual Abuse
Written by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass in 1993
Publisher: Harper Perennial Publishers in New York
Notes: This book is by the same authors as "The Courage To Heal" so you know that it will be good! There is even an appendix for partners.

"Outgrowing The Pain Together":
A Book For Spouses and Partners of Adults Abused As Children
Written by Eliana Gil in 1992
Publisher: Dell Trade Publishing, Inc. in New York

"Strong in the Broken Places" : A Theological Reverie on the Ministry of George Everett Ross by Leonard I. Sweet
ASIN: 1884836100
Availability: This title is out of print. Although it is no longer available from the publisher, we'll query our network of used bookstores for you and send an update within one to two weeks.