The Wedding of the Century
(As viewed by Jay
Winkelmans)
You thought only royalty or rock stars could have the extravagant perfect wedding. Well let me tell you a story. I am writing this on behalf of my good friend affectionately known as PB. If he wrote this himself no one would believe him. They would only think he was
making up a story. PB can make up a good story, however this one is very true.
This is PB’s first marriage. He married for the first time at the young age of 56. PB and Pat lived together for a number of years before this joyous event. I gather Pat didn’t trust PB initially. PB after all crashed planes,
was in the Hong Kong police force for 6 years and is an avid pistol shot and weapons collector.
I guess Pat did not feel safe until she was able to acquire her own arsenal.
About a year prior PB asked that I be the monitor for the wedding-a kind of
go- to guy if anything goes wrong. Before we get involved in the wedding lets talk about PB. I met PB shortly after his return from Hong Kong about 20 years ago. He and I were reserve officers at the time and avid shots from different units. We got to know each other on the rifle range and at combined unit functions. One thing PB does very well is to
communicate. With his gift of the gab, he was able to secure funding to support a team to Ottawa. Perception is not always a strength of PB. One year while we were in training at Nanaimo to go to Ottawa there were some mishaps in the
quarters. Alcohol was subsequently banned from the quarters and the military police had
eyes pealed for miscreants. PB arrived sporting a bottle of rum with all the fixings (not to mention a trunk full of various
items of contraband). Fortunately the powers to be did not hear his gala arrival and I was able to
usher him out before he found himself in a jail cell. We went on for a number of very successful years at the national championships in Ottawa.
PB and Pat began to get serious in the mid 80s and shortly afterwards founded the Bosnians. Bosnia at that point did not exist on the world stage and there was no indication that it would become a war zone. The Bosnians were a social club of PB and Pats friends. Unsuspectingly war broke out and PB found himself under surveillance. This is not a good thing when you are in the military and the Bosnians had to be disbanded. For those of you who are out there and used to be members
of this nefarious organization. I put the challenge to you to send in your stories so they can be published and shared on
this Web site.
In the early 90s structural changes occurred in the Army and PB was offered a position with the HQ in Edmonton. He moved to Edmonton and Pat followed a short time later. They purchased a home in St Albert and
quietly gained a reputation for their annual July 1st party
(Pat's birthday). Pat received a fantastic inheritance when her aunt died,
so pat and rob were able to move into a mansion,
complete with ensued bathrooms in the guestrooms and fire places everywhere. Recently they added to the house building the conservatory and a unique garden and fountain display. More on the house on another page however, this was the location of the wedding of the century.
Day 1 Thursday: the Stag.
On Thursday I showed up at PBs place around 5pm to go to the stag. Brock the Best Man was coming over to pick us up and take us to the Stag. PB had rented a hotel conference room and 3 limos for the night. We went to the conference room and had a few drinks while everyone gathered. The plan was for the guys to go to the peeler bar in the limos then the limos would come back to the hotel to pick up the girls for the stagette. A little while after the guys would be picked up at the peeler bar and then the limos would go back and pick up the girls. We arrived at the peeler bar in style. PB was seated in the appropriate spot as we enjoyed the dancing girls. It was apparent however, that many of us had not been to a strip club in a
while. The first girl came out and we were shocked. It was child
porn! She looked more like 12 than 20. The next girl was a little better however, as she actually had
breasts ( I think it was a general consensus amongst our group that we like a little more meat on our
women). The management thanked us for being a well-behaved group and we boarded the
limos back to the hotel.
Then the girls came back from their party. Pat was in possession of some interesting
artefacts that I hadn’t seen before and there was much giggling going on. We partied on for a bit
before management closed us down... finally.
Day 2 Friday: Golf and Rehearsal.
The next day was golf for the few who
still had energy after the night before. Many guests had come from out of town and around the world, so this was a big holiday.
Peter Wooldridge loves his golf, so he took control of things at the course ensuring everyone had a good time.
Later that afternoon was the rehearsal. This was no ordinary rehearsal.
After the wedding party did their rehearsal, the out of town guests joined with
the wedding party for the rehearsal dinner at the Officers Mess. This was a chance for Pat and PB to talk to their friends. With the help of Lisa it was also prime time to roast the bride and groom which was done in style. Many stories about the Bosnians
were revealed and the unique things Pat and Rob have done over the years. The party continued not quite as late as the previous night, but late enough.
Day 3 The Main Event.
PB gathered up the
males in their tails (morning coats) and off they went to the wild west range at WEM (I believe in PB's mind,
no wedding is complete without a little bit of forty-four play!)
The day started with Pistol shooting
and they brought along John, Gloria and Linda a special guest from England who had her weapons confiscated a part of England’s
"lets ensure only the criminals have weapons policy". It’s similar to our own firearms policy but even more draconian.
Linda greatly enjoyed the opportunity to get out to shoot. It’s not everyone who can say they went out shooting on their wedding day.
That afternoon was the main event. In
great style Pat and PB were married, and the ring bearer got it right this time. Apparently the little tot on a previous weeding was not quite as successful in transporting the ring down the
a aisle. My wife Cathy and I were also able to help out the wedding planner
transporting the flowers to the house from the chapel. To add to the ceremony
the Lord Strathconas Horse were there with their lances crossed while the carriage waited. The carriage took Rob and Pat to the Officers mess where they boarded their limousines. The carriage then came back and gave carriage rides to the guests. Pat had been concerned
about all the military flair with the wedding. The one thing the military does very well, however, is
to organize and plan. Many of us in the wedding party are either still in or ex military,
so PB had ensured things would run smooth with
next to zero involvement from himself.
Then
followed what must be the reception of the century. Everyone changed into western gear,
and I was the Sheriff and Cathy my
deputy. Our job was - besides having a good time- to ensure there was no drinking and driving.
PB had already arranged transport. We were also to
greet the guests and be the first point of contact if any of the contracted staff or the wedding planner needed a decision. Everyone arrived and got ready to get down and party. The catering staff
walked around with the hours d'oeuvres as the clouds outside began to darken. As luck would have it a prairie storm brewed
up with torrential rain and wing. It only lasted for about half an hour and soon cleared up. The generator however, was
drowned and the staff could not get things back up and running. I had a look and
realized they had a fire waiting to happen
with one circuit overloaded and another circuit not properly wrapped for the
weather . After a little maintenance, however we had- things back in order.
Someone had made the mistake of leaving cameras everywhere. Cameras are a great play toy when you have been drinking. I was able to get half the wedding party to dawn Gumby hats
and the other half led by Mary-Anne donned bunny hats. It was an excellent dinner and the drinks were flowing freely.
My account of the rest of the evening may stray a bit, as my pain threshold was rather high at this point. The Bride and Groom did their dance and the MC did an excellent job of welcoming everyone and conducting the reception.
Cathy cut the cake
into neat little pieces and then we danced some more. The DJ was excellent and kept everyone hopping. It then came time for the fireworks.
This was the ultimate fireworks show with front seat viewing. It was electronically fired and choreographed to the music. The fireworks show made most cities 1st of July ceremonies a sad display of attempting to
put colour in the
air. The display was absolutely awesome! Then the midnight lunch came out. All we needed was more
food! We had been wined and dined for the past 3 days and now more. The dancing continued yet again and we partied until about 3am. I had strategically placed the camper in the back because I knew I would not be going far that night.
Day 4 The Aftermath.
The next morning I got up around 9 and joined PB and
Dianne in the hot tub. Afterwards we had a little breakfast and soon guests were arriving yet again for the gift opening. After three days it was beginning to get difficult to continue to drink, however, I managed. Fortunately Pat had registered her gift selection, otherwise no one would have known what to get. Toasters and bread-makers are not items that are needed by a well-established couple. It was around 6 PM when we finally called it
a wrap (picked up the wrapping) from what had to be the wedding of the century...
tell you a story. I am writing this on behalf of my good friend affectionately known as PB. If he wrote this himself no one would believe him. They would only think he was
making up a story. PB can make up a good story, however this one is very true.
go- to guy if anything goes wrong. Before we get involved in the wedding lets talk about PB. I met PB shortly after his return from Hong Kong about 20 years ago. He and I were reserve officers at the time and avid shots from different units. We got to know each other on the rifle range and at combined unit functions. One thing PB does very well is to
communicate. With his gift of the gab, he was able to secure funding to support a team to Ottawa. Perception is not always a strength of PB. One year while we were in training at Nanaimo to go to Ottawa there were some mishaps in the
quarters. Alcohol was subsequently banned from the quarters and the military police had
eyes pealed for miscreants. PB arrived sporting a bottle of rum with all the fixings (not to mention a trunk full of various
items of contraband). Fortunately the powers to be did not hear his gala arrival and I was able to
usher him out before he found himself in a jail cell. We went on for a number of very successful years at the national championships in Ottawa.
Bosnia at that point did not exist on the world stage and there was no indication that it would become a war zone. The Bosnians were a social club of PB and Pats friends. Unsuspectingly war broke out and PB found himself under surveillance. This is not a good thing when you are in the military and the Bosnians had to be disbanded. For those of you who are out there and used to be members
of this nefarious organization. I put the challenge to you to send in your stories so they can be published and shared on
this Web site.
On Thursday I showed up at PBs place around 5pm to go to the stag. Brock the Best Man was coming over to pick us up and take us to the Stag. PB had rented a hotel conference room and 3 limos for the night. We went to the conference room and had a few drinks while everyone gathered. The plan was for the guys to go to the peeler bar in the limos then the limos would come back to the hotel to pick up the girls for the stagette. A little while after the guys would be picked up at the peeler bar and then the limos would go back and pick up the girls. We arrived at the peeler bar in style. PB was seated in the appropriate spot as we enjoyed the dancing girls. It was apparent however, that many of us had not been to a strip club in a
while. The first girl came out and we were shocked. It was child
porn! She
looked more like 12 than 20. The next girl was a little better however, as she actually had
breasts ( I think it was a general consensus amongst our group that we like a little more meat on our
women). The management thanked us for being a well-behaved group and we boarded the
limos back to the hotel.
Then the girls came back from their party. Pat was in possession of some interesting
artefacts that I hadn’t seen before and there was much giggling going on. We partied on for a bit
before management closed us down... finally. 
The next day was golf for the few who
still had energy after the night before. Many guests had come from out of town and around the world, so this was a big holiday.
Peter Wooldridge loves his golf, so he took control of things at the course ensuring everyone had a good time. 
PB gathered up the
males in their tails (morning coats) and off they went to the wild west range at WEM (I believe in PB's mind,
no wedding is complete without a little bit of forty-four play!) 
right this time. Apparently the little tot on a previous weeding was not quite as successful in transporting the ring down the
a aisle. My wife Cathy and I were also able to help out the wedding planner
transporting the flowers to the house from the chapel. To add to the ceremony
the Lord Strathconas Horse were there with their lances crossed while the carriage waited. The carriage took Rob and Pat to the Officers mess where they boarded their limousines. The carriage then came back and gave carriage rides to the guests. Pat had been concerned
about all the military flair with the wedding. The one thing the military does very well, however, is
to organize and plan. Many of us in the wedding party are either still in or ex military,
so PB had ensured things would run smooth with
next to zero involvement from himself. 
Then
followed what must be the reception of the century. Everyone changed into western gear,
and I was the Sheriff and Cathy my
deputy. Our job was - besides having a good time- to ensure there was no drinking and driving.
PB had already arranged transport. We were also to
greet the guests and be the first point of contact if any of the contracted staff or the wedding planner needed a decision. Everyone arrived and got ready to get down and party. The catering staff
walked around with the hours d'oeuvres as the clouds outside began to darken. As luck would have it a prairie storm brewed
up with torrential rain and wing. It only lasted for about half an hour and soon cleared up. The generator however, was
drowned and the staff could not get things back up and running. I had a look and
realized they had a fire waiting to happen
with one circuit overloaded and another circuit not properly wrapped for the
weather . After a little maintenance, however we had- things back in order. 
great play toy when you have been drinking. I was able to get half the wedding party to dawn Gumby hats
and the other half led by Mary-Anne donned bunny hats. It was an excellent dinner and the drinks were flowing freely.
My account of the rest of the evening may stray a bit, as my pain threshold was rather high at this point. The Bride and Groom did their dance and the MC did an excellent job of welcoming everyone and conducting the reception.
Cathy cut the cake
into neat little pieces and then we danced some more. The DJ was excellent and kept everyone hopping. It then came time for the fireworks.
out. All we needed was more
food! We had been wined and dined for the past 3 days and now more. The dancing continued yet again and we partied until about 3am. I had strategically placed the camper in the back because I knew I would not be going far that night.