The Last Saskatchewan Pirate*



Well I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine

I had a little stretch of land along the C.P. Line

But times went by, and though I tried, the money wasn't there

And the bankers came and took my land, and told me "fair is fair".


I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no

"Hire you now," they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go!"

The government they promised me a measly little sum

But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum



Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,

I'm gonna be a PIRATE! on the river Saskatchewan.

(ar.. ar.. ar.....!)



'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.


Arr!


You'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large

But just the other day I saw an unsuspecting barge

I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser

I rammed their ship and sank it, and I stole their fertilizer.



A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river

Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver

'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is waiting in the bay,

I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay.




'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Arr!



Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat

He followed on the shoreline, 'cause he didn't own a boat,

But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job

So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob.



A swinging sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company,

I never pay my income tax and screw the G.S.T. (Screw it!)

Sailing down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea

If you wanna reach the Co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!



'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
 

Arr!




Arrr ya salty dog.. arrr ya salty gopher.. arrr ya salty bale ofhay!


Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here

I heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers

They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort McKay

And you're bound to lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way



Well, winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze

My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze

I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go

I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico.




'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores



'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

 

 Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Footnotes:
1 - CP: Canadian Pacific Rail
2 - Mountie Bob: A member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who be terrible enemies of th' Pirating lifestyle.
3 - GST: th' goods and services tax, a somewh't unpop'lar sales tax here in Canada.
4 - Stetson: a cowboy hat.

 

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* The Arrogant Worms