KING of CANADA

Better Living Through Kingly Proclamations

We used to play a game, well, maybe it was less of a game than a way of expressing some exasperation, frustration or annoyance. Anyway, the "game" always started by saying, "If I were king, I would..."

The idea behind the these expressions was to make some type of dramatic change. Sort of like waving a magic wand to bring about an important change.

Maybe you played this game when you were a kid. Maybe you still play this game. I know I still do. Here are my current fill-ins for "If I were king, I'd:

  • Withdraw combat troops from Afghanistan immediately
  • Require skate-offs for NHL hockey players in fist fights
  • Eliminate network logos during TV-programming
  • Add silence requirements for TV sports announcers
  • Use military for domestic rescue & disasters only
  • Prohibit Canadians from bidding to host Olympics
  • Provide massive support for local sport activity only
  • Provide decent housing immediately for all
  • Increase and expand mental health facilities & services
  • Legalize and tax marijuana use
  • Treat drug and alcohol use as a medical/social problem
  • Increase police services in urban areas
  • Create moratorium on school for junior high students
  • Tie minimum wage to salary increases of MLA's
  • Prohibit banks from charging for chequeing accounts
  • Prohibit tax on families at or below minimum wage
  • Prohibit children under 18 from appearing in TV ads
  • Prohibit reporters from asking dumb questions
  • Fine reporters for invading privacy
  • Prohibit public photographs of private events
  • Add yours here

Flowers surrounding the Canadian flag are the official flowers of the Provinces and Territories of Canada.