This page is updated as the schizophrenia unfolds. Keep an eye here for the latest adventures of
Koo-Koo Boy
Having a neighbor like this has been an adventure, to say the least. He has forced me to know the local bylaws more than I ever wanted to. For instance, did you know the 'Fence Line' is an area that the city does not interfere in as, apparently, a surveyors certificate can be up to six inches out? It is treated much like 'Squatters rights' - first come, first served. Did you know that once a fence is put up permanently, you cannot alter it in any way unless you own said fence. Did you know the noise bylaw here ends at 7:00 AM. Did you know, as far as I can ascertain, there is no effective 'nuisance' bylaw. Did you know you can not allow any form of controlled water shed off your property onto city property or an adjacent property? Did you know I have a complete and total lunatic living next to me - with nothing but time on his hands and frustration in his heart?
Did you also know, you can phone any given city department repeatedly and they must respond to your silly request, no matter how foolish? The trick for them seems to be to get 'Call Display' and not answer. KooKoo Boy once told me about a situation he was having with the city about something. I forget, just now, what it was about. It may have been a problem with paint fading on the fire hydrant, or something equally as earth shattering. He said to me, "...and now they won't take my calls anymore!' I responded, "So what does that tell you?" He said, and I swear this is true, "I got there attention!" What a spirit! Keep a firm upper lip, KooKoo Boy! The world will come around! I am reminded of the Simpson's episode where Bart keeps touching the hi-voltage in Lisa's science project. Sooner or later, the hi-voltage will give up.
July 5, 2002 - Disaster Strikes ! !
The wind came up today. Very windy. One of the big screen TV's wasn't shored up enough and disaster has struck!
When Kookooboy gets around to repairing this, I'm sure the result will be another photo-op. I'm also sure that he will phone the police to look into this tragedy. If I get a visit from them, I'll let you know how it went. Lets just hope none of the delicate inner workings of it was damaged! I hope he fixes it soon because now his yard looks a little untidy. ha ha ha. As you can see, the tree is still dead, to (the brown one in the second picture above). No amount of water will revive it now. It's gone to tree heaven.
July 14 - Finally, the Big Screen TV has been put back in service. This did not involve any city department to the best of my knowledge. In fact, it was completely uneventful. Of course this repair was done under the cover of darkness to avoid any trade secrets being released to the general public.
Doesn't that look a lot better? Kookooboy can stand proud after a job well done. Where does he find the time to maintain his yard in such good shape? It only took him a week to implement these repairs!
August 12, 2002: Farming is a major part of our local economy. Unfortunately, the elements have not co-operated very well this year. You wouldn't know it from Kookooboy's crop! His seems to be flourishing. You can't see it in the pictures very well, but a lot of this growth is starting to go to seed. For those of you who are gamblers, enter a date for when you think he will next cut his 'lawn'. I'll post the winner, if there is one this year (ha ha).
Unless the City gets on his case, I doubt there will be any more 'Weed Whipping' this year. The white fence rails are 35 inches high. This is not a record growth. Last year, his crop peaked out above them. BUT! This season is not over yet!
He's been busy in his back yard making a bunch of noise lately. I think he's building something, so I'm looking forward to some horrendous new 'Artwork'. It will be ugly. He has a flair for 'Ugly'. Hopefully, he won't let us down.
The Job Site
What do you suppose he's building? Maybe a gazebo? A Fort? A space shuttle? A landfill site?
August 15, 2002: Well, troubles a' brewin'. I wedged a stick back in the fence between his 'board' and my fence to stop the banging again. He's been grabbin' 'em as fast as I can cut 'em. I was nice enough to write 'Bus Stay Off' on one of them for him. The Bus service has complied. I'm sure he'll approach me about 10 sticks from now. I'm sure I'm infringing on HIS right to annoy me more than my right to sanity.
November 12, 2002. Kookooboy hasn't really done anything note worthy, let alone spectacular, since August. He did a minor demonstration of one of his obsession's today, though. My wife went out and shoveled the snow off the front sidewalks today. He waited until no one was looking and went out and put the snow back on his sidewalk (City sidewalk). Other than that, he's been quiet as a mouse. And I hardly ever see him anymore.
I know you've all been curious about Kookooboy's summer building project. He finished it. And it's...
...a new outdoor deck, complete with seating for.... more than will ever visit. Better Homes & Gardens was over again to get pictures of this marvel of craftsmanship. I thought I saw Norm Abrams over there the other day looking for pointers.
Snow Removal - Another Ongoing Issue
January 30, 2003: The snow has come in abundance over the last couple weeks. I managed to get the snow blower fired up after a two year hiatus. Of course, I got carried away and removed the snow all down the block. They say you're not having fun if your not burning gas. Unlike some member of this community, I don't want to see anyone fall and hurt themselves on the snow. And I hate wet boots. So we have helped to keep the walks clear of snow along our block. And, of course, knowing the bylaws as I am forced to, I put the snow on the grass, not on the street. Never on the street! The first six feet, or so, adjacent to any public walkway, belongs to the City. I'm not aware of any bylaws specifically prohibiting proper snow removal from sidewalks on neighboring properties. So, if I ever get a visit from a local bylaw officer regarding this, I 'll quiz him extensively and fill you in on my findings. Maybe this page should be called "City Bylaws through the eyes of Kookooboy's Neighbor".
February 1, 2003 : Somehow, the snow that was removed yesterday found it's way back onto the sidewalk. I don't recall it being windy last night. If so, it was a very localized wind. Powerful, to. It moved the snow back in chunks. We do have odd weather here.
The Snow came. The Snow was removed. The Snow magically came back.
I wonder what happened? Perhaps we have a Snow Gremlin infestation. Tall, skinny, greasy Snow Gremlins! Perhaps I should spray for them.
I bet you thought I was kidding about this.
May, 2003: Summer has come and the weather has been good to Kookooboys crop. Something had prompted him to weed whip his yard (except, of course, the side piece). Saturday morning at 7:01 A.M. was his designated time for this project. We slept right through the noise and were not disturbed in any way. The rest of the neighborhood was not so lucky. I guess he managed to wake everyone but us up. So add a few more neighbors to his list of 'Friends'.
For those of you that are not already aware of this, the noise bylaw in this city stops at 7:00 AM
January 26, 2004: All is peaceful on the Kookooboy front. He has, however, developed a new, and very irritating habit the last while. Whenever he hears anyone coming or going from my back door, he opens his kitchen curtains and stands and stares. I wonder if he's really Norman Bates. It's really creepy.
April 3, 2005: Sunday morning. The Sabbath for some, a quiet day of relaxation for most. A visit from the Authorities (Police) for a few of us. This was totally out of the blue. I never saw this one coming. Usually, I can guess if I'll get a visit from some City department, but this one blind sided me. Good one, Kookooboy.
The problem, apparently, is one of my surveillance
cameras. I was re-aiming one the other day. As expected, he was
peeking through whatever peep hole he currently uses to watch us and saw
this. Wouldn't you like to know someone is ALWAYS watching YOUR every move
(Yea, I know - Irony meter just went off the scale)? Anyways, somehow, he thought he had an
argument against this
camera. I overheard snippets of the conversation - '... so, Officer, if
you can make the charge....' and blah blah blah... incoherence...
If whatever was going on in his distorted version of reality had culminated
into some sort of real legal action, I would completely re-do this website and
dedicate it to 'Foolish Legal Actions that just irritate the Police ...
and everyone else'. As it is, we
all just seem to tolerate his antics endlessly. As I have said too many
times already, it just seems to go on and on and on and on...
My prediction is this: He may have found a new obsession. My security precautions. So, for those of you that have not read this entire site, keep your barbeque 18'' away from any combustible surface (Good advice, I'm sure, at any time of the year) and be sure to 'Stay Off!!'
Spring is here. New nonsense to follow, I'm sure. Dull update and you wouldn't mind him as neighbor...
No picture for this update - yet... heh heh heh...
(By the way - 'Daylight Savings Time' begins today for everyone that isn't as enlightened as us yokels... ? )
JD9's Fine Yard The Auxiliary Driveway The Transit System
My Dangerous Barbecue My Faulty Parking New Fence New Trees
The Garbage Can Incident How 'Koo-Koo Boy' was Coined The Seniors Complex
Previous Owners Miscellaneous Stories about Koo-Koo Boy
Updates & New Adventures The Manhole Opinions?