It has been suggested to me that Kookooboy has had a hard time. Well, dip me in shit if that's a news flash! Who the hell hasn't! Buy a house, make a living, raise some kids and life goes on. It's a tough slug for everybody. So is there any reason Kookooboy should get special consideration just because he's 'touched'?
I am not too fond of Mr. K.K. Boy. He has caused a lot of petty annoyance for me and little else. He did cost me $40.00 when he reported my car parked in front of my driveway. Full points for that one. He has created a home life that involves me looking over my shoulder with every move. I make sure my vehicles are parked within 18 inches of the curbing. I try to be the perfect neighbor and citizen. I recycle, I cut my lawn and have a nice yard. My wife tells me to do things to appease this man, to avoid trouble. This frustrates me. It is with this in mind that I am posting this suggestion page. Perhaps I am too hard on the man and should turn the other cheek? Would you? However, for the sake of keeping my sanity, I offer this page to post any opinions you may have. I'd love to hear about any bad neighbors you may have. Remember, this is a humor page and I can't and won't -
- Do anything violent, destructive or illegal
- Kill him (This would be violent and maybe illegal)
- Burn his house down
- Kill his cat (he doesn't have one.)
- Kill his Cedar Tree (He already did).
- Kill his lawn (He already did).
- Make the neighbors annoyed with him (They already are, very much) ( P.S. to this comment - I've actually asked a number of neighbors about their feelings - I would seem to be the most composed one regarding this issue. If he left, none would miss him)
Privacy Disclaimer
If you have any suggestions as to how I should handle this neighbor, post them at the 'Comments' box listed below. The only reaction will be to post your suggestions anonymously on this page for humor sake, perhaps with a comment. Your input will make this page more funny and nothing else. Only your text may be posted, verbatim or partially, without corrections. (Proofread, folks, especially if your comments are negative. Unlike you, I may have biases.)
This is my privacy disclaimer - end of discussion
Responses to Date (Earliest to latest - I might have just made some of this part up)
* "I think you should be more tolerant of people like this who are obviously lacking in social skills. As a trained Psychologist, I see a man crying out for attention and a need for acceptance. "
Response: Fine. Buy his house. I'd tolerate you. Teach me 'Acceptance'. Bring beer.
* "Just burn the sum-bitches house down."
Response: As mentioned in the disclaimer, I am not a violent or vindictive man. I post this opportunity for humor only. I will not react with any violent or illegal actions. Besides, my house would be in jeopardy, since he's cried 'Wolf' with the fire department so many times, they may not come out.
* "Kill his cat"
Response: He doesn't have one. But if he did, 'Rescue the Cat' would probably be more fitting.
* Get your property taxes re-assessed.
Response: Good idea. I'm thinking about this.
* Become 'Shit-In-His-Mail-Box Boy.'
Response: Geeze, that's juvenile. I think that would only piss the mail man off.
* Take a frozen fish, dip it in melted wax and throw it in an open window. When the wax eventually dissipates...
Response: I've never seen him actually open any window to the outside, so even if this could be done, I doubt he would ever notice.
* He's been that way for years and will never change. It's just his world and it gets stranger all the time.
Response: Amen. You must have known him for a long time. Living next to him has been an endurance test.
*. . . I moved in my 18" subwoofers. They're very directional and, while playing 20Hz waves, shake the inside of their house constantly ... imagine trying to sleep with the evil bus hitting the grate all night long. That was 3 days of fun.
Response: This is definitely a good suggestion. Very clever. Thank you. I have all sorts of access to high-powered equipment. Along similar lines, I have put two blinking green LED's into two holes drilled into the eyes of a ceramic frog then pointed them in an appropriate direction for 'security' purposes.
* Why not post a big "I love god and he loves u too " sign facing his
property? or "devil" if that works. Maybe place some theater seats in your yard and invite friends over to watch
him. Place motion detector lights around your yard to catch him at night. Or use the motion lights to activate some bad music or singing?
Good luck with him
I feel for ya
Response: Wonderful ideas! Please buy the house across from him. We could have a blast!
* I would sign him up for every single free giveaway and free subscription to everything I could get my hands on.... you know that he is going to get himself into
some kind of trouble with at least one of them .. then when he comes over and gripes about how Columbia House or such is 'screwing' him... you can have a
little chuckle....Awww that's too bad.....
Second option- Run for Alderman.... change the bylaws and come down on his world from above...
If he threatens you Get a restraining Order...
Response: Pen ready- begin NOW. I love that one. This may commence tomorrow. Of course, you must understand that I will probably do nothing. But then again.... Sheee--it, I love this idea. May the blue bird of happiness never give you such a neighbor. You get full figs for this suggestion. Thank you.
*Interesting site you have, a little one sided and not entirely accurate. I lived next to the man you call kkboy for over 10 years and found him to be a great neighbor, he has gone out of his way to help myself and others many times over the years. Please before you suggest that the rest of the neighborhood feels the same as you, ask and find out. I think you will find that not only do most of kkboy's neighbors like him, they value you him as a friend and neighbor. I wonder what your neighbors think of you as they flip through this site? Seam's like someone has a little to much free time on their hands.Any way I hope you leave this up on your site just to ad a little balance.
former neighbor
Oneeye
Response: Balance? Where does it say I want balance? It's very nice to see he has a friend, though. It's unfortunate he isn't still YOUR neighbor. And you should proof read, asshole.
*I'm sure some stupid bleeding heart jerk with nice neighbors will tell you to be more patient.
Response: No doubt.
*My advice to you is to get everyone together and buy your neighbor and mine a duplex and we will film the reality show that will make us all a bizillion bucks. We can call it "Too close For Napalm".
Response: Now that's funny.
I would like to thank every one who sent in Emails. I'm unable to respond to them individually, but I do appreciate all the support. The general consensus is that this site is very very funny. That's all I was after. And by the way, yes, he is quite aware of this site. He has an old beat up copy he brings out every time he can corner the police.
Post your thoughts here - Comments
'He bin werkin ona rayro - - aw da liv long day!'
JD9's Fine Yard The Auxiliary Driveway The Transit System
My Dangerous Barbecue My Faulty Parking New Fence New Trees
The Garbage Can Incident How 'Koo-Koo Boy' was Coined The Seniors Complex
Previous Owners Miscellaneous Stories about Koo-Koo Boy
Updates & New Adventures The Manhole Opinions?
If you have a humorous 'Really Bad Neighbor' website, Email the Url and I'd be happy to link to it.