Sadly, for humor sake, this particular lunacy has been relegated to the annals of history. His concerns about the transit system and my barbecue have overshadowed this dead horse. He seems to have stopped beating it.
It had a good run.
No other issue, to date, that Kookooboy has dreamed up has caused more problems than the 'Auxiliary Driveway'. Every type of aberrant behavior he can think of has been demonstrated, some loudly, over this one issue. It was demonstrated very clearly to me, over this, that Kookooboy just wanted to argue.
As mentioned earlier, Kookooboy decided one day that he needed another driveway. He assigned some space in his yard beside my driveway as this new 'Auxiliary Driveway'. So every time someone parked on the street behind it, he would go off on a tirade and look for some one to yell at. Now keep in mind what this would look like to someone driving by, looking for a parking spot. A perfect little one car spot, free and available, with an old beat up van sitting on the lawn beside it. This van could easily be considered an abandon vehicle in it's condition. Of course, sometimes the van wasn't there. In this case, Kookooboy would come home to a vehicle plugging his 'Driveway' and freak out. I was usually the first suspect. For a while, I would ask my guests not to park there just to keep from getting interrupted in the middle of a card game or such.
The final straw came, as mentioned on the home page, when a friend of my daughter came over to see her and inadvertently parked there. When he came to the door over this, he was incoherent from anger. My daughters friend was terrified. She moved her van while he was trying to rag on her. I say 'trying to' as I was in his face by now. The next day, I checked out the local bylaws and confirmed what I already suspected. His arbitrary claim to a driveway entrance was without merit. I informed him later that day about what he would need to do to make a driveway then parked one of my vehicles in the disputed spot.
Of course this action created all kinds of visits on his behalf. On many occasions following, I would have a nice visit from various commissionaires (The parking police) who wondered why they were called out. They finally stopped responding.
Fast forward to winter and after a fairly good snow fall, my wife had gone out and shoveled the snow in the front, his sidewalk included. Since it had been confirmed that he had no business parking there, snow was piled up along the grass side of the sidewalk. Apparently this action had snowed him in as the Police informed me at 11:30 that night, awakened from a deep sleep. I was polite to the officers, but told them the details and bid them a fine evening and sent them on there way. I remember what the officer said when I answered the door. "Sir, you have a mad neighbor.". I said, "Yea, I know, and he's usually angry, to. Is he frothing at the mouth tonight?"
You may be asking yourself, "Why in the world would your wife shovel off his sidewalk?" Because he won't and I want to tell you why he said he won't. He hopes one of the old folks from across the street will slip on the snow and break their neck! He really said this to me! Also, his sidewalk is in the line between mine and the bus stop and my kids take the bus to school.
The materials for the 'Auxiliary Driveway' seem to have become a liability in favor of a dead tree. Still the same test pattern on the Big screen TV's. ( Landscaping Hint : if you want a dead Cedar tree, keep four inches of standing water under it for two years.)
February 20, 2004: I hear rumors the postal carriers are encouraging a bylaw regarding residential sidewalks and snow removal. If this happens, a whole new chapter in Kookooboy stupidity will likely be started shortly after the first snow fall following its passing.
Kookooboy's Fine Yard The Auxiliary Driveway The Transit System
My Dangerous Barbecue My Faulty Parking New Fence New Trees
The Garbage Can Incident How 'Koo-Koo Boy' was Coined The Seniors Complex
Previous Owners Miscellaneous Stories about Koo-Koo Boy
Updates & New Adventures The Manhole Opinions?