 |
|
|
Day (–2), July 27th, Tuesday: Drive from Saskatoon to the Shuswaps
Bill, Rick, Warren, (Keiran), Elaine, Dana and Sandy We left at 7 am Tuesday morning, Warren, Joan and Bill travelling in one Pathfinder, while Elaine, Rick and Dana were in the second. Took the route through Rosetown and Kindersley through colorful fields of yellow rape & bluey flax, but skipped Drumheller and Calgary.
Across the praires. Took turns driving, swapping every two hours and swapping people between Pathfinders at every stop. We stopped in Cochrane Alberta at 2pm for lunch and ice cream. Rick begins the testing of his general theories, beginning with number 1: when should one eat desert? (i.e., is pie to be eaten prior to or following the main course?) We followed lunch with ice cream then headed south to the Trans Canada and on to Banff. We avoided Banff but did stop at the Spiral Tunnel for a wee peek at the peak and a pee. Elaine was a virgin when it came to this part of the Rockies so Warren and Bill provided history, geography, and physics lessons along the way. Thus, the Information Pathfinder was christened, and, as a counterpoint, the other was appropriately labelled the Comedy Pathfinder. Sufficient ahs and muted squeals of delight, and an occassional “Wahoo” from the “Virgin of the Rockies” suggested pure unadulterated awe. Elaine provided examples of Northern Saskatchewan English and suggested it was universally used. All were surprised at the many uses of ‘seen’, “I seen”, “we seen”, “they seen”, etc. For example, “I seen those sinners waiting for the liquor store to open”. Rick tested another of his theories (that all politicians are crooks) by inquiring of a local Revelstoke gas jockey if his premier was in prison yet. The youth’s practiced customer smile was quickly replaced with a confused look and he avoided all subsequent eye contact and hurried about his business hoping to avoid another question. Rick and Dana’s opinion of the residents of Revelstoke rapidly diminished when we were directed to a closed liquor board store. Rick claimed: “They’d have to be idiots to close a liquor store at 6pm!” Our journey continued with heavy hearts west to Salmon Arm where we were blessed with an open drink establishment. This was greeted by the chant: “Cold beer wine, cold beer wine!” from the Comedy Pathfinder, which was beginning to panic when the Information Pathfinder drove right on by it. Rick offered his services to two too young teenagers parked at the entrance, on the condition that they not tell their mothers. This comment was again responded to in that typical confused fashion. At least they didn’t ask us for money after that. Joan selected the fine eating establishment of Herbies Burgers for supper. Rick in his rather unorthodox manner ordered breakfast which was probably the smartest thing he did that trip. Joan was not allowed to choose again as even Warren almost spewed his burger. Outside, Elaine admired a “young man in uniform” (kid in army fatigues). Rick came back with: “Coupla years he’ll be old enuf to shoot up the high school.” Comedy Pathfinder took the lead to find the campground just outside of Salmon Arm but we ended up on the shores of Shuswap lake at Sorento. Warren had overheard the original instructions to the hoped-for campsite, and predicted that we would get to a campsite, just not the one we had gotten directions to. Navigation was not a strong point of the Comedy Pathfinder, hence their name. We arrived at Stalag 13 camp just before the gates were shut and the dogs were released. The camp ground was run by Bob & Doug McKenzie (all sentences ended with “Eh?”), who kept us amused around the fire with their entertaining tales of duct tape, jet-ski accidents, fightin’ and fishin. Wine was also present which might explain the amused part of the evening. Uneventful was the evening except for Dana trying to clothesline small children with her tent pole.
Sunset over the Shuswaps. Day (–1), July 28th, Wednesday: Drive from Shuswaps to Victoria. Up early, 6 ish in order to beat the general RV white Anglo Saxon community to the showers. Things didn’t look good for an early escape however: the chain link fence and gates were locked. We were trapped. So, we went and cleaned up. Excellent showers had by all, for a mere quarter. Sometime during the showering, the gates were opened by the sleepy guard and we made our escape by 7am. Stopped at that Canadian Institution Tim Hortons in Kamloops for breakfast. Rick tested Tim Hortons employee of the month comment “we have all flavors of bagels” and asked for the Salmon and Kiwi. Unfortunately they were all out of that particular flavour. Rick then asked for the nearest Starbucks… Something had died in men’s washroom, cloaking the path to the women’s washroom in a thick fog. Christ was found to be online in the parking lot and drives a mini van with shag carpetting. Rick provided a Far East driving lesson (fewer movements the better) and proved a Pathfinder can do 90 kph in 2nd gear. Bill tries to out do Rick by putting Pathfinder in reverse while traveling in a forward direction at 90km/hr. Bill succeeds in making cool grinding noise but does not make it into reverse. Rick wins. Warren very amused by antics of Bill and Rick while driving his Pathfinder. Bill and Rick make Elaine look like a professional at the wheel even though she hasn’t driven a standard before. Overeater’s anonymous motor cycle gang passes by in opposite direction. Appears to be a pecking order as the closer you get to the end of the group the larger they are. Rather a frightening experience. Headed southwest along highway 45 to Merit then on to the Coquihalla to Hope. Stopped for a break along the way and watched climbers preparing for assent of local peak. Very smooth peak results in many slides during the winter.
Stopped in Hope for fuel and viewing of a well endowed young man providing a display of high pressure peeing (much to Joan and Elaine’s amusement). No one was ready with the camera, inspite of the five minute duration. Rick was brought to his knees when Joan broke her wine bottle when it fell out the of the back of the Pathfinder. In his grief, he searched desperately for a cup to catch the wine as it dripped through the brown paper bag. He came to his senses when he realized that now was not the time to ingest broken glass. From Hope we took highway 1 to 10 then onto 17 and the Tsawwassen ferry terminal. Although the Information Pathfinder was in the lead, the Comedy Pathfinder with Dana at the wheel passed us several times while making (cell) phone calls. Luckily they were in the other lane… We stopped at Chapters/Starbucks for Dana’s cappucino, latte, half twist IV. Bought a couple of books and headed for the ferry. Arriving just in time, the boys try to ditch the chick Pathfinder. In spite of the effort, the Comedy Pathfinder still makes it on board, but they are the second last vehicle on. Chicks were very excited about the ferry ride and made a scene by hanging out of Pathfinder and shouting rude and suggestive remarks at passing males. The unknown van which had broken down and caused all kinds of problems loading the ferry also caused unloading grief: we had to wait for the tow truck to come aboard and remove it. We wondered why BC Ferries was putting up with this shit. Turned out to be that it was a BC Ferries van which had broken down. We chatted up a BC Ferries Anchorman and quizzed him about his job.
Warren, Dana, Elaine, Joan and the AnchorMan. Group got a little calmer once we realized he did at least know which end was the front of the ship. Photos were taken and we went to find a deck area to recline and enjoy the trip across. Everyone impressed by a woman and child we met. Child was huge and so were her boobs. Expounded her vast knowledge of hiking and kayaking the islands then proceeded to incorrectly identify every island we passed. Lots of sun resulted in red faces all around.
Drove to Island View campground located a few miles from the Victoria airport. We are beginning to see a trend when it comes to Tent and RV operators. The Deliverance school of Tent and RV site management seems to be churning them out. Rick takes the time to explain the difference between a tent site, overflow tenting, and a storage area and suggests a name change from Island View to Overflow and Storage View. Fat white Anglo Saxons and their RVs dominate the ocean view while we tenters are ostracized to the overflow / storage. Bathrooms were pitiful, more in tune with a Woodstock site.
In the driftwood, surrounded by RVs. We set up tents and then went for a short walk along the beach. Deliverance theory was put to the test when Bill attempted to pay for campground (No, you cannot use Interact and talk on the phone at the same time). Bill the expert computer guy solved the receipt problem by suggesting they add more paper. Warren, Joan, Rick and Bill headed to Victoria to wander around while Dana and Elaine went to the airport to pickup Chris. Elaine is very impressed with the US navy (the nuclear aircraft carrier, the USS Stennis was in port for 6 days) and the quality and youth of its sailors. We all meet at the Sticky Wicket for beer and Nachos, then head upstairs for dinner. Joan attempts to pickup pre-pubescent sailor in Dana’s name and Dana subsequently blames Elaine who is oblivious to the whole torrid affair. Dinner was good, food was fine and sailors were cute. Elaine sadly left with her wicket still sticky. We returned to our campground with spirits high. We walked along the beach to watch the moonrise accompanied by Rick sipping from his wine bottle.
Rick was determined to keep up his alchohol quota to just below stagger. Joan replaced Rick’s hard candy with rocks, but he wasn’t fooled. Actually, it wasn’t much of an attempt, since she didn’t even wrap the pebbles in used candy wrappers. All hopes of stealing a beach fire were dashed, as the RVers were vigilant. Day 0, July 29th, Wednesday: Drive from Victoria to Port Renfrew We woke early, eager once again to snatch all the hot shower water from the clutches of the RV-ers. Elaine, in a state of high anxiety due to the large number of sailors in Victoria (and maybe having just spent her first night with Rick) took a cold shower. After not having listened to Warren’s hints on using the showers the previous evening, she also refused to read any of the instructions. She arrived back at our tents, shivering and furious at the RVers for using up all the hot water. Her expression upon learning that there was plenty of hot water was memorable to say the least. She couldn’t even speak English for the next 5 minutes, and we questioned if she really belonged with the RV clan.
Elaine after a brisk morning shower. We packed up and headed for Victoria to saddle up for another coffee-latte capa-something IV. After coffee we wandered around Market Square and bought some last minute things for the trip. Joan and Bill bought fleece vests. Sandy’s flight didn’t come in until 11:30-ish so we headed for lunch at Red Robin. It didn’t open until 11:30 so Warren, Joan, and Bill decided to skip it and headed for the airport. We had decided to take the cell phone just in case Sandy had problems with her connections but Dana’s withdrawal symptoms proved to be be too much and we gave it back to her. We left the other Pathfinder in search of Rick as he had escaped. It began to rain as we headed for the airport, a rather ominous sign as we waited for Sandy. Until this time the weather had been sunny and warm. However, it wouldn’t do for Sandy to go camping, canoeing or hiking in nice weather, so the rain was just in time. Plane was late arriving so we went off to Whitespot for lunch. We picked Sandy up at about 12 noon and were off to meet up with the other Pathfinder. It turned out that Sandy had been expecting rain all along, in spite of our glowing weather reports to her the evening before. We finally found the other Pathfinder along the road to Port Renfrew when we identified an idiot practicing his golf swing on the meridian as Rick working on the golf swing he learned from the Dalai Lama. He had a curved stick and was batting/driving pinecones and rocks out into the traffic. The looks from the construction workers were well deserved and his technique did begin to improve, though Dana advised him, “Don’t quit your day unemployment.”
Rick improves his golf swing. Highway 14 to Port Renfrew is narrow with numerous curves. The longer we drove, the denser the rain and fog became. The 90 kilometers took approximately an hour and a half to drive. We followed the other Pathfinder on a wild goose through Port Renfrew and then decided that they are lost. We gave a few honks of the horn, and then pulled a U-turn and drove directly to the West Coast Trail Registration centre. The Comedy Pathfinder slunk in 10 minutes later. We were still an hour early for the 3:30 orientation so we set up our tents in the forest and went in search of Jeff and Sheryl. The orientation took about one and a half hours. The ranger discussed the trail and updated us on the weather, reading tide tables, trail conditions, animal sitings, rescue procedures etc. We paid the $96 dollar fee, $72 for the trail and $12 each for two ferry crossings. The ranger proudly stated that she normally did our planned first two days of hiking in 7.5 hours… This perked us up. It shouldn’t have. But the good weather forecast for the next two days is a relief and a boost to our morale. At least two days with no rain. We also met Craig and Kristy from Edmonton at the orientation. After that we drove to the End of the Line cafe for a fresh halibut dinner. Warren was a bit overcome by fish fumes but was rewarded with an excellent chicken dinner, while Chris had a most excellent hamburger. We arranged for the vehicle drop off with Stan, who ran a fenced compound for hiker’s vehicles. Big Mike, (who worked with Brian, the water taxi man), upon discovering that we were flatlanders proceeded to bet on our ability to avoid sea sickness on the water taxi. Sandy agreed to bet 25 cents. Spent the remainder of the evening fussing with our packs, final check and re-packing. Everyone partook in the last shower for 7 days. Once clean, Rick, Chris, Bill and Elaine build a beach fire to replace sickly soap smell with smoke. Rick planned revenge on some obnixious local youths driving yet another Pathfinder (which seemed to be incapable of not spinning its tires and spitting gravel at us everytime they let out the clutch) but they leave before he can egg them. All for the best. It turns out that we will need all two dozen eggs he has packed. Halfway through the night we are invaded by a noisy Boy Scout troop. Tents appear to be 1930 vintage so we don’t have the heart to burn them due to their historical significance. Noisy Boy Scouts have lots of coolers full of beer, which require opening (and slamming) the lid every 4 minutes. |
 |
|
Images with borders are thumbnails (click on them) Mail Me! warren.long@shaw.ca Warren's Hiking page is HERE Warren & Sandy's HomePage is HERE. |
 |