Wisdom sayings are short statements that jolt us out of our complacency, and make us view things from a whole different point of view.
The Internet abounds with people who sign their messages with wonderful sayings. I thought to collect them here, in no particular order. Some are quotations from the famous, some from quite ordinary people; others are unattributed - all are valuable in teaching us who we are, what we value, and how we think. Many are quite serious, and, some of them are quite funny.
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"Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable."
C.S. Lewis
Thinking to trap her, an atheist asked a nun, "Can God create a stone so heavy that even He Himself is unable to move it?" The nun answered simply, "He already has - it is your heart."
Catholicism is a rich, inexhaustible, and a little addictive, frankly; I think that if you challenge people, you will find that they are hungry for more. (Those who aren't can continue to write their usual flaccid drivel in the National Catholic Dissenter.) By contrast, if you expect little of people, they will usually deliver it. - Simon Dodd
There are those who say, "The Church is full of hypocrites!" I say, No, it isn't. We can always scoot together and make room for one more. Come and join us! The Church isn't a hotel for saints, it's a hospital for sinners. Who among us here on Earth who say we believe and practice what our Faith teaches are actually perfect 100% of the time? - anonymous
"Don't marry for wealth. Hang around rich people, and marry for love."
One doesn't have to make up the rumour to be guilty of gossiping. - Maria G.
"The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data.'" Bernadette M.
I just think sometimes that somebody needs to stand up and just yell 'SHUT UP!' at the whole world. - Appleby
On the subject of what it's like to be retired: "It's bad when you wake up, have nothing to do, and go to bed that night still not half finished." - Bob Barnhill
The question on the on-line survey was, "How do you respond to conspiracy theorists against the Catholic Church? David Filmer replied, "I report them to the Illuminati."
If you don't stick to your values in the difficult times as well as in the good times, then they aren't really "values" at all - they're just hobbies. - Jon Stewart.
Be yourself...everyone else is already taken.
Sometimes the only way God can get in is through a broken heart.
Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.”
Thomas Aquinas
If we accept the premise that Hell exists, and that it is necessary, the rest of the story seems to be about God making every possible effort to keep us away from there, in much the same way as you might try to warn motorists that a bridge is out ahead of them. Never mind about the reason, the bridge is just out. Maybe we will find out what happened to the bridge later.
How much are you allowed to love Mary? You can only love Mary as much as Jesus loved her. Only love her to the point of being scourged and crucified for her salvation. Once you reach that point, stop. That would be enough.
What we need is a cheap, common, inexhaustible, infinitely renewable, resource.
Too bad we can't find a way to run cars on stupidity.
Aw, you poor thing! They called you a heretic? No, honey, you're not a heretic. You're a schismatic.
There is no problem, no matter how small; that cannot be eliminated by the judicious application of tactical nuclear devices.
If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid.
The Military Engineers Rules of Precision:
* Measure with micrometer.
* Mark with chalk.
* Cut with axe.
* If it doesn't fit, get a bigger hammer.
* Pound to fit, paint to match.
In any military conflict: Victory goes to the side with the shabbier uniform.
Do unto others as if they were writing your biography.
Love your enemies. It really cheeses them off.
I like my coffee the way I like my women: Hot, black, and with a bit of prune danish. -- Gilbert Gottfried.
Cats are God's way of telling you your furniture is too nice for the likes of you.
The facts, while interesting, are irrelevant. (A colleague used to say this during arguments.)
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
First Law of Submariners: # of dives - # of ascents ≠ positive number.
Forgiveness is the best revenge.
Give till it hurts. After a while, it won't hurt so much.
Everything I own can be divided into two groups: something I can eat, and something I gotta clean.
People who buy their food, clothes, and ammunition at the same store may not be the best choice as keynote speaker at the DNC.
There are no stupid questions; only stupid people. And you'll never get any smarter, if you never ask.
There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.
And those that can't, well, chocolate probably won't hurt.
The wages of sin is death. Righteousness has a better severance package.
There is no problem, no matter how small; that cannot be eliminated by the judicious application of tactical nuclear devices.
Always keep your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
Death is one less Christmas card.
Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
I do not understand the distinction. What is "Christianity" that does not depend on the authority of the Catholic Church?
- John Hiner
Pat: A man was detained at an airport when the metal detector went off. The police and airport security confiscated a calculator, a math textbook, and a ruler. He was charged with transporting weapons of math instruction and is believed to be a member of the infamous Al-Gebra movement.
Mick: All up to insidious trigonometrist activities, no doubt.
"Please don't leave me to wallow in my own superiority complex, I was hoping for constructive dialogue." - drmcpike
Sign seen at a candy store:
"I'm just a Catechumen but from my perspective, the most destructive thing is the jingoism: "preach the gospel always and use words if necessary." This is complete bullshit. I don't see how anyone can hope to stand in the judgement if they can't stand up for their faith." - from What's Wrong with the Catholic Church, in the Catholic Answers Forum.
St. Michael carries a sword instead of a bouquet of daisies for a reason.
"Though St. John the Evangelist saw many strange monsters in his vision, he saw no creature so wild as one of his own commentators" - G. K. Chesterton
We know that between one-fourth and one-third of our classmates, friends, teammates and even siblings never saw the light of day because of legal abortion. - Holly Smith
Jesus is like the Coca Cola of Italy. I'm Jewish, and even I was almost convince that He's the Real Thing. - Lewis Black.
Why is it people always believe what they read in the paper, but always check to see if a Wet Paint sign is lying? - Joe Kelley
If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Just 'cause I don't know the answer don't mean I have to accept your cockamamie idea. - Uncle Herbivore
There is no god but God, and Pope Benedict is His prophet.
A lot of people know where babies come from, but have forgotten where adults come from.
Change the world. Be a Catholic.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The good die young, but pricks live forever. So, go out your front door and swear at the first kid who comes along - it'll be just like taking vitamins. - Lewis Black.
Committing sin and saying it's ok because your conscience says it's ok is like sitting in a living room engulfed in flames and saying there is no fire because the smoke alarm isn't beeping.
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —President Bush, Aug. 5, 2004
If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
Rites are bearers of life, but only for the living. - . Father Henri Charles Chery, O.P., from The Art of Confession
The most difficult ethical problems are not the ones we can't answer, but the ones whose answers cause us some kind of major inconvenience.
Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite.
I don't need your attitude, I have my own.
Improve your image; be seen with me.
It's not plagerism if you don't remember who you stole it from. - Joe Kelley
I think it's absolutely true that everybody in the entire world is on a journey to the Catholic Church, and that Jesus Christ is constantly inviting and encouraging us to become Catholics and, once Catholic, become the best Catholics we can be. But that doesn't mean we can't take notice of where people are in their journeys, or that we can't make decisions about whether we can travel together at the present time. - Ian McLean, Secret Agent Man's Dossier
It drives me nuts when people say "I'm not into organized religion". (What that usually means is that they are into disorganized religion - they make it up as they go along, picking doctrine as if it were on a Chinese menu.) - Hey, God, it's Mike.
"Democracy and pluralism depend on people of conviction fighting for what they believe through public debate - peacefully, legally, charitably and justly; but also vigorously and without excuses. Divorcing our personal convictions from our public choices and actions is not "good manners." On the contrary, it can be a very serious kind of theft from the moral treasury of the nation, because the most precious thing anyone can bring to any political conversation is an honest witness to what he or she really believes. " - Most Reverend Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap., Archbishop of Denver. May 20, 2005
... mental health is when your symptoms don't bother you any more." - Diane Wilson, from I Am an Angry Person.
Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ - St. Jerome
Ignorance of history is ignorance of Scripture. - Silvina
"We used to know where our children were going when they left the house. Today, [because of television, video games, i-chat, internet, e-mail, and so on] we don't even know where they are when they're in their bedrooms." - Mark D. Lerner, Ph. D On the Prevention of School Violence - e-letter from the American Academy of Experts.
"If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? - If you said, "Yes", then you've just aborted Beethoven.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average. (And half of the doctors in the world graduated in the lower half of their class.)
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
"If Americans aren't stupid, then there is something even worse wrong with them. I have graded History papers which stated that George Washington was a system of economic distribution, a response that I attributed to illiteracy and inability to follow the instructions of the test. If illiteracy was not the problem, then we have an even worse problem." - PED, The Dumbing Down of America
"... the Catholic Church isn't made up of Catholics. It's made up of about a billion people who are trying to be Catholic with varying degrees of success." Ian McLean (aka Secret Agent Man)
"Modernists like to pretend that they don't deal in metaphysics, but, as the first example shows, they often do. One of these hidden bits of metaphysics used by modernists is the assumption that things like `existence' have no substance but are really just descriptions. In fact `existence' does have a substance, and that substance is God: God is existence. Asking how God came to exist is asking how existence came to exist which is the same as asking how speed came to speed - a plainly irrational question".- Matthew Parry, responding to the question, "If God didn't need to be created, then how is it that the Universe needed to be created? Could it be that the Universe itself is the 'uncaused cause'?"
Did you hear about the priest who named his dog "Anathema"? He had always wanted to be able to say, "Anathema, sit!"
The best thing to do when someone is determined to make a fool out of himself is to get out of the way and let him do it. - Scott Waddell.
Scripture is filled with "if" clauses. But I always had a "weknow" to cover them. A "weknow" is a presupposition that we apply to a scripture that keeps us from seeing what is really written there. For instance, in 1 Peter 3:21 we read that baptism now saves us. But we just apply our "weknow" and tell ourselves that "we know" that it does not mean water baptism because "we know" baptism does not save us. I had been a big user of "weknows" and now the Holy Spirit was causing me to see all those scriptures at face value. It would require taking off my Protestant glasses and taking the chance of discovering I had been wrong. It was terrifying. - Patty Bonds, on the reasons for her conversion to the Catholic faith.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -Jack Handey
Sr. Mary Sunshine: I bet that not one of these kids knows any Latin! You there! Can you tell me what Kyrie eleison means? Precocious Child: Yes, Sister: it means Domine miserere nobis.
We are now entering earth's atmosphere. Please keep your hands inside the lunar module at all times.
Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
Life is not a test. It's an actual emergency.
So what's the speed of dark?
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
A person cannot be logically argued out of a position that they have not been logically argued into.
Blowing out another person's candle won't make yours any brighter.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Celebrate "Eat an Animal for PETA" Day.
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
You should never sell a project based on non-existent technology (aka vaporware).
In other news, it was announced today that after careful study, researchers confirmed that fire is hot and pointy objects hurt.
A little patience goes a long way. A little bit of knowledge does not.
Do not be afraid of strange noises in the dark - anything that means you harm will stalk silently.
Never ask a marine biology major why he won't eat mussels.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Don't verb nouns.
The truly well-trained dog knows all the parts - not just his own.
If you can't think of anything nice to say, then come on over here and sit next to me, darling.
Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.
God doesn't ask for our opinion, only our obedience.
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Just to put the Inquisition into perspective, the U.S. has already killed more people in two years than the Spanish Inquisition did in three centuries. - David Christopher Smith, commenting on the hypocrisy of pro-war, anti-Catholic Americans.