The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
MacbethSo there's this guy Macbeth whose slicin' and dicin' on the battlefield and then he meets these three real ugly chicks and they're all "You're gonna be king" and he's all "no way, there's a king already" and then he writes Lady Macbeth and she's all "off the king" but she may be a guy cause she keeps saying "unsex me" and stuff and then Macbeth offs the king and a bunch of other people but he and Lady Mac can't have kids (duh--see cross dresser comments above) so he's all pissed off and then the forest starts running around (like in Lord of the Flies) and then Macduff is born by a Julius Caesar and he chops off Macbeth's head and everybody's happy except Lady Mac cause she offed herself first. Then Simba got to be king and everybody was happy.
The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
Moby DickSo there's this Ishmael dude and he's all like "I need to find my fortune" and he ends up going whale hunting with this weird Ahab dude who's all racist against non-white whales and has this grudge against this one whale named Moby Dick but like how he knew its name is kinda weird. Anyway, there's this headhunter dude who throws bones around and then a storm and stuff and then the whale kills everyone cause it hated Ahab like that shark in Jaws and then Ishmael is in the water and the whale swallows him and he wishes he had stayed at home with Gipetto, and then he lights a fire and the whale spits him out and he goes home and becomes a real boy and writes this hella long book that our teacher honestly thought we would all read
The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
1984There's this Winston Smith guy whose clock is broken cause it struck 13 and he works as a minister telling people about the truth until he meets this Julia chick who's all "sex is bad" but then they hook up and she's all "just kidding" and he shouldn't be messing around with her because he's a truth minister and all and then this helicopter flies into their bedroom and Winston is all "damn" and "don't put the rats on me" and then this guy from the Big Brothers comes and Winston loves him on account of I guess he didn't have a dad of his own which is why you should give money to Big Brothers (or you can donate clothes, I think).