The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
Animal Farm
(uh, before we start, you should know I took some heavy duty, uh, cold medication tonight.)So, there's this guy George Orwell--only his real name's Eric--and he's all "I'm a socialist and I'm going to fight in the Spanish Civil War" but his side, like, sucked cause the other side had all the weapons and shit and then he got all pissed at Stalin cause on account of Orwell liked Trotsky and thought that Stalin had betrayed Lenin's vision after he married Yoko Ono so he wrote Animal Farm, and in case that was too subtle he threw in 1984 as well. (see previous entry)
In Animal Farm, the humans are like, the bourgeoise and the animals are getting beat down and there's this pig Old Major who's all "the workers should control the means of production" and then Snowball and Napoleon take over but then Napoleon gets all Al Capone and Snowball's toast but Boxer this big stupid horse is all "Napoleon is my friend" and "I like rabbits, George". Then Napoleon gets them all to say "4 legs good but 2 legs are damn hot sometimes" and then he and the other pigs get like humans and wear clothes and soon it's all the same as before except nobody's eatin' bacon for breakfast.
The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
Brave New World
So there's this Bernard guy who lives in this like, engineered society and they're all "my mother was a test tube" and they make people for the jobs so the smart people like being smart and the rest all want to work in the restroom at mcdonalds and Bernard wants to hook up with this Lenina chick who's hot and they all just hook up whenever with whoever and go to movies and get wasted on soma, which is kinda like ecstasy. There's this guy John who's some kind of a savage on account of he likes Shakespeare, beating himself and thinks sex is nasty. His mother is all fat and they all think she's gross and John becomes kind of a Tarzan "look at the savage" guy but he can't talk to animals. The thing is, Aldous Huxley wrote this book in the 1930s and it's all party, sleep around, watch videos and do drugs. It's kinda like he saw the future and it was like Paris Hilton's bedroom or a rave or something. Eerie. (the scary kind, not the lake kind)
The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
The Catcher in the Rye
There's this kid named Holden Caufield and he's all upset on account of he's got two last names and no first names and he goes into the city and stays in a skanky hotel and gets drunk on rye whisky with the catcher from the New York Yankees and he messes around with this hooker chick but nothing really happens on account of he's probably gay and then he wants to hide in this big field of rye and grab little kids--which is kinda creepy if you ask me.
The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains
The Chrysalids
There are these Amish-type people all living strict-like and these kids who get all mutated but then their dad puts up a "Beware of the Mutants" sign so nobody will bother them, but he should've just started a freak show and then this Rosalind chick gets these weird messages from New Zealand and there's this kid with six fingers who killed Inego Montoya's father but as she prepares to die these goodyear blimps come and shoot spiderwebs on everyone and kill all the non-mutants so the last laugh goes to the freaks.
copyright - J. Gray