Dispatches from a Distance, England & Egypt, Autumn 2000

First off, some background.

On Monday, November 17, 1997, what has become known in the popular press as the Massacre at Luxor, Egypt, occurred. (It actually happened in the Valley of the Queens, across the Nile from Luxor, but I won't quibble.) According to the BBC World News Online, which was published at 23:09 GMT on that date:

A couple of days later, on Wednesday, November 19, 1997 (Published at 14:12 GMT), the BBC had the following headline in its World News section: "Interior Minister quits after Egyptian massacre." An edited version of the rest of the article, which is still online, contains the following information:

The article concluded that: "The massacre is a massive blow to Egypt's campaign to revive the tourism industry, which is vital to its economy." A bit of an understatement that. The event certainly put me off any plans to travel there. Which, given my interest in 'crumblies', was annoying. Egypt had long been near the top on my list of places I wanted to visit and, now that I had the wherewithal to do some serious travelling, I had to put it off.

For awhile!

Three years later, the rat race that was my life at the time had taken a decided turn for the ironic. That is to say our house, and indeed most of Vancouver, had seemingly been invaded by a plague of rats. Got so bad the local Health Inspector actually went on television to assure Vancouverites that, to quote him exactly: "Well, at least our rats are clean."

Be that as it may, I figured the situation overseas had calmed down sufficiently to book a 2-week tour of Egypt, plus some R&R time on the Red Sea as well as a week or two in London, a city I had by then grown to enjoy. Had to get there of course and therein lies a minor his-story.

As mentioned, I live in Vancouver (Canadian variety). City's notorious for its year round rain. One month, September, seems to be an exception. Being already on vacation, the weekend before I left for London I was playing tennis almost everyday. I'm not much of a tennis player, -- my game, until the knees finally gave out in my early forties, was football (sometimes known as soccer). I quit because, after something like 35 years of playing the game, I had strained, twisted or broken just about every part of my body, from head to foot. Last game I ever played I managed to break one of my big toes, so I figured I wasn't going to start going through all that again and quit.

Everyone has heard of tennis elbow. I'm immune to it. Unfortunately I seem to be prone to tennis thumb. Hence, as per the email I sent to a house mate shortly after landing in London, the condition I was in while on the airplane:

Arm in sling, right hand strapped up to immobilize tennis thumb, I needless to say became very adept at raising pints with my left. Was unslung and destrapped by the time I flew to Cairo about a week later, though. Stayed that way as well, albeit not for lack of trying. Which I'll get to in the next of instalment of my dispatches from a distance (Egyptian Excursion Version).

Larger and more populous than even London, Cairo is a truly massive metropolis. Millions upon millions of inhabitants, with millions upon millions of vehicles, none of which move very far very fast and all the while spewing out tons of smog. I had to sharpen up the picture I took from high ground out toward the Gizeh or Giza Plateau just so I could make out the pyramids. (The picture pops up, by the way. So does the next one, of the interior of the Cairo Museum.)

In addition to the Sphinx and the Pyramids Cairo does have a fabulous museum. Although it seems huge when you enter it, I understand it is far too small to house even a fraction of its antiquities. Whole top floor is mostly given over to stuff found in King Tut's tomb. Moderately considerately they left his mummy in his tomb. Which is underneath that of a more renowned in his day's Pharaoh in the Valley of the Kings and wherein (the valley, not the tomb) I earned the Donkey Jim nickname that stuck with me for the balance of the tour.

All in all though Cairo is one of those places you fly into, see a selection of the sights, and move elsewhere real quick. Which is what I did. Should tell you about another rude awakening I had before I take you with me.

Middle of the first night after arriving from London, deep in sleep, this ungodly screeching suddenly shattered whatever shut-eye I had been achieving. I rolled out of bed, banging tennis thumb in process, and stifled a shriek of my own.

Keeping low I crawled over to the window and peaked outside, not really knowing what to expect but anticipating murder most foul being committed on the street below at the merest minimum.

Although Malta apparently has a large number of Muslims living in it and Islam is the largest growing religion in Canada, the only other predominantly Muslim country I had been in was Turkey. Don't recall hearing such a caterwauling there, though. Especially not at three or four in the morning.

Turned out, as you may have realized right away, it wasn't ungodly screeching after all. It was godly screeching!

The hotel was right next to a mosque and the imams therein apparently took tremendous delight in calling the faithful to prayer as high-pitched loudly, not to mention amplified, as possible. Was only the first reminder that Egypt, despite having a military man as president and a reputation for being a secular state, was no Turkey. (Or at least no Turkey on the Mediterranean coast. Inland Turkey, especially on its Eastern borders, well, in 2003 I survived that too. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.)

Didn't take long to get another:

Resulted in the al Aqsa Intifada -- and, seeking to escape the rat race, bad thumb and all I'd flown right into the periphery of it!