I'll meet a nice girl
when and if I nice girl decides to meet me

There's two sides to every coin
you seem to think they're all going to come up heads

Maybe that is why
you lose so much at vegas every year

More than i make in a year
more than I make in a year

You don't need to tell me
Big Mike went out and got himself a real job

I'll do it one of these days
If an ever I get around to it I swear

What do you mean by that
I never bring that girl around anymore

What do you mean you liked her
You spent two months tearing her down

What was wrong with her
do you really need to ask
What was wrong with her
let me count the ways

Her name was Stephanie, she drank herbal tea
But not the kind you can buy in the store

She Special Ordered it, the only one I knew
was St. John's Wort

Her Spice Rack was even worse,
going blind reading her calligraphy

Very Middle Earthy, in a musty morning
kind of way

Very J.R.R. Tolkein kind of girl,
Isn't 35 kind of old to be a girl, to be a girl?

Her Name was Stephanie, she liked unicorns
had pictures up all over her wall

Figurines in the bedroom,
in the bath and down the hall

Any Phallic imagery
was / not / discussed
 

It seemed that would upset
the godess
godess
godess

(spoken)
 Oh yea, did I mention the goddess?
 I don't know how to describe her really,
 I sort of imagined Tori Amos,
 But -  up in the sky

And I swear to god / If I hear
Loreena Mckennit/ again I think I'll puke

I used to like/ Kate Bush
I'm sure I did/ I'm sure I had

No Idea/ she was so
gynocentric/ gynocentric
for the source of her power

Her name was Stephanie/
She had a 1968/
Karmann/ Ghia

She bought it from her dad
I don't think she ever knew
what she had

I changed the oil,
blew out the carbs,
sandblasted the drums,
changed the plugs

I scraped the body
way down and past
the primer

7 cans of bondo later,
oh god I miss that car