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THE TALE SPINNER
IN THIS ISSUE:Vol. XVI, No. 5 January 30, 2010 Zvonko Springer continues his account of an African safari Jean Sterling expresses her concern for our accident victims The editor recommends a new book by Greg Mortenson Zvonko Springer forwards a new version of familiar questions Rafiki sends a poem about Canadian winters Dick Monaghan forwards the story of a blonde and a snowplow Sites are recommended by Bruce Galway, Dick Monaghan, and Tom Williamson  Zvonko Springer takes up his story of their FIRST KENYAN SAFARI Keekorok Lodge was probably the most comfortable of our safari. There were single standing houses with two bedrooms each and a large bathroom with American-type installation. The wall base was built of formed natural stones on top of which were erected round cedar logs. The internal walls and the ceiling were also of boards, whereas the roofing was the usual thatched leaves. The only drawback was that the lodge did not have a good view. It was near a brook with a deep bed to which animals had to descend for drinking. After we had brought in necessary luggage we went to meet the manager to learn about the rules we had to adhere to. He lived with his family a quieter life at this time then before. He knew the region well from his hunting days so now he went out on foot finding new ways to mark tracks for future tourists. At present we were the only guests! Vesna could not wait too long and she went for a quick jump in the swimming pool. Soon she was back, shivering, as it was rather cool, mainly due to evaporation in the dry hot air. We left the lodge at 4:30 for our first outing, driving as told northwards, following our nose. It seemed that this game reserve had been the least devastated of all in Kenya as animal herds were mostly very numerous. We could approach any herd to a close distance, which allowed taking perfect pictures even of a single animal with my camera telescopic lens. Masai Mara Reserve had on record 32 species of mammals, of which we have seen 21 – that was 67% - the maximum attained on the whole safari. The most numerous were giraffes, wildebeests and hartebeest, duikers, Thomson’s gazelles and impalas, zebras and waterbucks, and of course, buffalos. The single buffalos were of an unpredictable behaviour so we kept a safe distance from them. After we came to the airstrip it started to rain so we had to turn back for safety. The “cotton” black soil became slippery fast and it was high time to look for a dryer murram (red soil) path leading back to the lodge. On the horizon we saw a grey line that on approach turned into a huge herd of zebras counting say 450 or more. The rain had almost stopped when we passed some groups of ostriches and giraffes. Sundown created beautiful scenery “spiked” with several dark giants of buffalos closer to the lodge. We found a buffalo scull with holes eaten by worms so we had to take it as a souvenir and loaded it on the roof rack. An askari stopped us at the lodge gate and politely asked us to return the skull to the place we found it. It was not permitted to take away anything from the reserve. Obediently we did as instructed but I was sure that we were neither the first nor the last who tried it! Dinner was nothing special, but although we could have eaten more, we were too tired to ask for extras. As there were no other guests to talk to, we were already in bed by 9:00PM. This was the happy time of any day we always would gladly agree to. When morning tea arrived on our verandah at 6:00AM we got up with the usual protests. A baboon was barking angrily on a tree as a tall Masai ranger came to take us on a tour. He carried a rifle that Ljiljana did not like, and she asked that it be put away from Vesna, who was sitting behind Ljiljana on the rear seat. Vesna was not happy to be next to the ranger, whose body smell was a specific one known to us. Vesna took her notebook (her animal-counting diary) and asked the ranger if he could lead us to the lions that we had not seen yet. Ljiljana sat in the passenger seat with cameras at the ready so the ranger told me follow the track to a grassy plain. Before long we found three lionesses chewing up a wildebeest killed in the night. Undisturbed, they continued their bloody business, so we left them to search for more lions. Soon we found behind a bush two young lions resting. After a sufficient number of pictures we were ready to go on searching for more. A limping lion was the next spotted by the ranger, and at close range we saw the lion in the process of marking his territory on a tree trunk. We came to the airstrip but because it was approaching breakfast time we had to turn over to another grassy track towards a group of 20 elephants. They did not take notice of our passing nearby and continued grazing intensely. Suddenly the ranger warned me to stop instantly and to switch off the engine. There in front of us was a single mighty buffalo bull with his head down, waiting. The Masai told us to be quiet and said to me, “Be ready to start and pull out fast!” He knew that bull well as being “kali sana” (very aggressive). When the bull turned away I got the command, “Go back!” and following the advice, returned to the airstrip. Ljiljana wanted to take a picture of the landing aircraft so we moved aside into deeper grass and with a “Whoop!” stuck fast in a hole. I switched on the engine again and it still worked fine. [Note: The VW engine was in the rear and its power was transmitted straight to the rear axis only.] The passengers got out of the car to lift it a bit while I let the clutch out slowly so the rear wheels turned slowly, pulling us out of the trap. Driving with the utmost care and happy about the outcome, we were ready for a good breakfast! After breakfast I dared to go out to look for damage caused by the accidental dip into a mud hole. The bumper had bent against the body and I could not open the baggage section in the front which was bent slightly upward. I drove the car to the lodge garage where a mechanic performed a miracle with a few simple tools and his brute strength. He freed the bumper, pulling it off the wrinkled nose of the car, then with a wooden hammer placed several hard blows on the metal nose. At last we could open the baggage compartment again easily so I tipped him gladly. Back at our parking place, Ljiljana inspected the car and admired the repair work. The reminder of this nose diving was visible on the bumper, still neatly bent against both front mud breakers. This condition remained with our VW until we handed it over early in 1967. Vesna collected several parts of the tape recorder that had fallen apart when the car dropped into the hole. Fortunately, nothing was broken or missing and I tested my last recording of the barking baboon made that morning. Happy with the outcome of the car “dip”, we went to the swimming pool to relax and swim, surrounded by the vista of wilderness. After lunch we went to our room to take a brief nap, dreaming about the new thrills that awaited us. At 4:00 another Masai warden joined us at the gate to accompany us to the Mara River. Never before and never again throughout the whole safari did we see so many animals clustered in big herds of hundreds! Vesna stopped counting and marked the number of large herds of zebras and wildebeests over again, giraffes, an abundance of gazelles, etc. We saw an uncountable number of animals all over the plain on the way to the Mara River's right bank. The warden showed us the place to park the car near the river bank. We closed all the windows to prevent monkeys from inspecting the car interior. We walked behind the warden towards a bushy area on the river bank. He told us to keep quiet as there might be a buffalo hidden inside and he did not carry a rifle to scare it off - said smiling. The river was about 50m wide at this place with steep banks on both sides. The water level was low, otherwise there would have been a large number of hippos and crocodiles at the river bend. We found five hippos with one “toto” (small or young) but no crocodiles. This place was well known as the crossing point during the great animal migrations from Masai Mara to Serengeti and vice versa. To be continued. CORRESPONDENCE Jean Sterling writes: I was very sorry to hear about Jim and Geoff both taking a fall. I look forward to Jim’s piece about nursing home life. If anybody can find humour in such a situation, that person is Jim. The cold weather has finally left this part of the world – at least for now. Now we have to wait for the bill from the power company. Most Floridians have electric heat, which is great most of the time but inefficient below 40 degrees F. When I got up in the morning during the cold snap, I would look at the thermostat and it invariably told me that the auxiliary heat was on. STONES INTO SCHOOLS I recently read Greg Mortenson's new book called "Stones into Schools". He describes the catastrophic earthquake that devastated Pakistan and Kashmir, scenes which are reflected in what is going on in Haiti right now. There was at least one great difference, however - the first earthquake occurred among some of the highest mountains in the world, making it almost impossible to reach the poorest and most remote villages. Mortenson describes the work of the NGOs who responded to the calamity, and all the infrastructure necessary for their operations. The lack of coordination among those organizations, and an overall plan for relief outside major cities, and the failure to find out what the survivors needed instead of what the organizers thought they needed hamstrung their effectiveness in Asia. Highly-flammable tents were provided for people who used open flames and kerosene lamps; heaps of clothing were burned because the villagers had no fuel; down jackets were wrapped around sheep because there was no way to keep their livestock warm.... Reading about that disaster brings home the news of the plight of Haiti. It's not easy reading - I don't mean it's not well written, but it is hard to read without tears. In spite of that, I recommend it. I was heartened to read that "Three Cups of Tea" has been declared mandatory reading for many of the soldiers deployed to Afghanistan, and that generals have adopted some of Mortenson's philosophy. Over three million copies of "Three Cups of Tea" have been sold, and probably this book will do as well, so at least a lot of people are getting the idea that you win wars with books, not bombs. Mortenson was interviewed on the CBC recently, and to see a video of that interview, go to I'm not sure when the first questions asked before various Olympics surfaced, though I do remember similar "authentic" questions about Australia. Zvonko Springer sends a version adapted for the coming Olympics in Vancouver: EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT CANADA ... Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking: Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England) A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see polar bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles; take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax? (England) A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north.... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is north in Canada ? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA ) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany) A: No. WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. Rafiki forwards this familiar poem: WINTER POEM It's winter in Canada And the gentle breezes blow, Seventy miles an hour At thirty-five below. Oh, how I love Canada When the snow's up to your butt. You take a breath of winter And your nose gets frozen shut. Yes, the weather here is wonderful, So I guess I'll hang around; I could never leave Canada - I'm frozen to the ground! ED. NOTE: Unlike the rest of frost-bitten Canada, we on the wet coast are just ending the warmest January on record. Already the cherry trees are blooming in Victoria, and today I saw snowdrops in bloom. It is only a couple of weeks until the winter Olympics in Vancouver, and organizers are understandably worried. Dick Monaghan forwards this story about THE BLONDE AND THE SNOWPLOW One winter morning a husband and wife in Wisconsin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have eight to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.... A week later while they were eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they were again having breakfast when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time." SUGGESTED WEBSITES Bruce Galway forwards the URL for a video of a 1926 snowmobile: http://quipster.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/snow-motor-snowmobile-of-1926/ Bruce writes: This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awestruck and broke into spontaneous applause. It is a palindrome that reads the same backward as forward, with exactly different messages: ~~~~~~~ Dick Monaghan forwards the URL for a video showing how green screens are used to create special effects in movies and weather forecasts: ~~~~~~~ Tom Williamson suggests you click on this link to check out a revolutionary new motorcycle: ~~~~~~~ It is not only people who enjoy surfing in the big waves - dolphins are experts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWauuX_1KH8 ~~~~~~~ You may also read this newsletter online at http://nw-seniors.org/stories.html "The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry, and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers." Lewis Thomas Edited by Jean Sansum. You can contact her at : Jean |