Word by Word
July 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Toronto Pearson airport, 3 pm
Waiting for a flight to Durham, NC. I have been in Ontario since the 20th of June, having a lengthy visit with each of two friends. I'm a bit weary of mooching a place to stay, but am on my way to doing it one more time with my cousins. But this is family, and may have a different feel. But maybe that's not quite right. My two friends here, one in Toronto and one in Stratford, are friends from when I was 18, which makes them feel like family.
And just to stay on the theme, I had dinner with two nieces here too. They are part of the found family that I am related to. Most everyone who knows me knows that my mother had given up a baby for adoption, and that I've found her; these nieces are her daughters. It dawned on me this visit, that at the time my mother died, she thought she had four grandchildren, but actually she had eight.
Family that you haven't met feels as familiar as friends from your teens. Maybe even moreso. Which is odd, because one of these nieces is twice removed via adoption from any possible nurture factors. Nature has given her freckles like her mother, and lousy eyes like myself and her mother. And a love of books, not there in her adoptive family. She writes, too, how do you like that? And as she put it, a tangential way of living her life. I love that word as a descriptor. Living life by going off on tangents. It could describe many of us, beginning with my mome. My niece is not like anyone in her adopted family. Her voice sounds like her half-sister (the daughter my sister did keep). I couldn't tell them apart on the phone. As far as patterns go, my sister followed our mother in one, by giving up a child, and then having three more. I followed a slightly different pattern, that of bringing up three children on my own, like my mother, and her mother too. Maybe the nurture part of our experience has helped my sister to break that pattern, because as far as I can see, she is thoroughly married to the father of her younger three. Depression, however, is a theme in all the families that draw a line down from my maternal grandparents. I think it must be a dominant gene.
Monday, July 16, 2007
noon
I've been going through re-entry. It shouldn't be necessary after only just under three weeks away. And I didn't leave the culture particularly, as I was in North America all the time. I've certainly had my share of kindnesses on this trip, but I think my company was welcome as well. But emotionally I had a long trip of life as a tourist in four other households. So in one sense I visited several other cultures. I think I'm a bit of a loner too, which made all the together time a little hard. I need breaks to just sit and stare at the trees.
Anyway, this journey, which was kind of accidental in its planning, was good for me. Change is always good, and seeing outside my box is good too.
I walked into a party in North Carolina, celebrating my uncle's recent marriage, so had the whole bevy of cousins, and almost all their kids, to catch up on. Good visits mostly, but time and change is upon them. My uncle's new wife has cancer, which puts a bit of a pall over things. But they're forging on in hopeful manner, and it ain't over till it's over, right?
It was also really hot in NC, no surprise. And muggy. But everyone has air conditioning, unlike these parts, so the heat is more avoidable. But weeks of strange beds, and then hot nights, mean I haven't slept particularly well for a long time. Which in itself makes me kind of sluggish. I think that's why it's taken me time to get back in here to my blog.
But I haven't been useless entirely. I have done all my laundry, and put my suitcase away. Remarkably organized. I think it helped that my apartment was cared for while I was away; walking into clean and tidy makes it hard to just scatter stuff in my usual cavalier manner. Though my table is covered now, but it's things I'm working on, not just rubble.
The week I was in Toronto I actually did some writing too. Finished a piece and sent it off; now awaiting word. Another six months?
And I went and baked myself at the folk festival on Saturday. Pretty good coverage with the sunscreen, but my face still feels feverish. Another day or so should correct that.
Oh, and I've been up the mountain twice. Was feeling particularly blah yesterday, from my sun overdose I imagine, but decided to ignore it and hike. Right choice; I finished the day feeling quite satisfied with myself.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
8:15 pm
My away daughter is flying in tonight with her boyfriend, and I'm dawdling around, filling time as I wait for it to be time to go pick them up. I haven't seen her since Christmas, which seems a very long time ago. I find I'm restless and distracted, and can't stick to any of the chores lying around here. I stopped into the library today, because of the way I was feeling, and picked up the latest Rumpole to read, and finished it already. Not a challenge; I used to find them more of a treat. My mood?
Fireworks tonight, I'll have to miss them, but the travellers might see them from the plane as they are landing.
It almost didn't work out today. I was out for a long walk, after a bout of writing-behaviour (I find I can't sit at the keyboard for too many hours without my body protesting). I picked out a circuit that took me through Shaughnessy, which is much like walking through parkland, very idyllic, saw lots of service people working (not so idyllic for them) and was looping back on my way to a coffee shop when my daughter called me to let me know I'd bought her a ticket for the wrong day. (Her boyfriend's ticket was correct, fortunately.) And it's true; her flight was through airmiles, and it seems I didn't check the email they sent carefully enough to make sure all was well. I had checked the flight number, and didn't notice that it was for next month. Incredibly careless of me.
They sorted it out at the airport finally, and though their flight had left without them, an Air Canada person finally had the brainwave that they could get on the next flight as there were empty seats. So they're still coming, only a couple hours later, and with me only a hundred dollars poorer for the mistake. Curse, curse. Is this the first serious senior moment? I hope not.
Monday, July 30, 2007
11 am
This is a summer of family and friends, endings and beginnings.
The sad stuff first. I ran into a friend about a month ago who told me of an old friend's illness. Tom Nikiforuk, for those of you who were buddies back in the early 70s, back when everyone called me Shoil. He had a brain tumour, which was cancerous. In the way of old friends he had slipped away years ago, except that occasionally we would run into each other, he would great me with a happy Shoil! and the warmth was as warm as if it were every week. That's done. He died yesterday, only 57. Tom was a good man.
Yesterday I also got an email from a young cousin (1st, once removed, if you're curious) who has been sleuthing family history, and has dug up information and documents which she is happy to share. So I have a birthday for a grandfather now, and information about several generations of my mother's father's family. I forwarded the mail to all and sundry of his descendants, and so in a way feel the world expanding.
And I've met someone in the last few weeks, and feel for the first time in eons, excitement. That's all you're getting here though.
And my old cat has taken to sleeping all day under the bed, where he goes to feel safe, or on a shelf in the closet, even though the doors are open and the sun is shining outside. He's the last of the family of four cats that used to swarm around me in the kitchen of the old house.
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