How to Fail a Job Interview
When being interviewed for a job, there are certain don’ts that it is important
to follow: don't bite your nails, don't fidget, don't interrupt. don't belch.
Any of these would probably result in one not getting the job.
Some job applicants, it seems, have never heard of these don’ts. They go light
years beyond them. A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American
corporations revealed the following stories of unusual behaviour by job
applicants.
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"... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
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"She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the
same time."
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"A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few
minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
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"... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was
qualified to judge the candidate."
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"... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and
french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve"
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"Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having
the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."
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"Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific
interview questions."
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"When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing
around my office."
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"At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through
my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
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"... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said
he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
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"Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."
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"While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy
of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the
centerfold."
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"During the interview, an alarm clock went off in the candidate's brief
case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for
another interview."
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"A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His
side of the conversation went like this: "'Which company? When do I start?
What's the salary?'
I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any
further.' He promptly responded, 'I am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't
hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to
get a higher offer."
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"His attaché [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled,
revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."
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"Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment
office needed proof that he was looking for one."
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"... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk.
When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone
number. I called security."
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"Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was
not hired, the bomb would go off.
Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going
to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran.
No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."
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