Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine, when she asked if
I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind
people when the light is red.
She responded, appalled, "What on earth
are blind people doing driving?"
Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is
leaving the company due to "rightsizing," our manager spoke up and said,
"This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often."
Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer
staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.
Sighting #4:
I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her
system would not turn on.
Sighting #5:
(a rare "double sighting"):
A friend had a brilliant idea
for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word
documents into a tiny font they'd take up less room. When he told me, I
was with another friend. She thought it was a good idea too.
Sighting #6:
(from Tech Support):
Tech Support: "How much free space do
you have on your hard drive?"
Individual: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and
she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
Sighting #7:
(from Tech Support):
Individual: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Individual: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Okay, so type in your last name."
Individual: "How do you spell that?"
Sighting #8:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
"I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."
Sighting #9:
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address
from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As
he tried to explain,
she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is
it in?"
Sighting #10:
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was
typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," she told him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
Sighting #11:
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into
the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole
thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had
happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went back
to make a sandwich.
To continue this true story, the owner of the vehicle sued the manufacturer and
won his case because the owner's manual did not specifically state that this
could not be done.
It seems that ignorance is not an excuse in the courts, but stupidity is. I
wonder what planet the judge was from.
