guybabineau.com

home / about / channel surfing in the sea of happiness / contact

Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More
The Brady's canned her. They have a Smart Home now.
by Guy Babineau
It's been one of those days but at least it's over and as you 
drive back home you can relax. Why? Because your new 
pad is smart. When you get there you won't have to 
perform irksome chores like turning on the lights, adjusting 
the thermostat or drawing the blinds. The minute you open 
the door and switch off the security system your audio 
centre will kick in, grooving with random selections of 
music downloaded from the Web while you were at work. 
The fridge will be fully stocked. When you ran out of milk 
and pizza pockets this morning, before you threw out the 
cartons you swiped the bar codes on your refrigerator's 
keypad. They were added to your digital shopping list 
which got zapped across the Internet to your e-grocer, who 
delivered earlier in the day using a pre-authorized entry 
code. Best of all, the roast should be cooked to perfection.
	But uh-oh, what's that smell? You dump your stuff 
inside the front door and dash to the kitchen. Smoke 
billows out of the stove. The roast is toast. What happened? 
Your WAP (wireless access protocol) is in sync with your 
PDA (personal digital assistant) and your local LAN (local 
area network) seems to be working okay. You call up your 
service provider and a techie rushes over two hours later. 
After spending another hour trying to figure out the 
problem, she finds out that it's relatively simple. It's not a 
software glitch. It's hardware. A mouse got into the stove 
and chewed off a wire.
	In The Brady Bunch, the cult sitcom of Generation 
you-know-who, the maid Alice did all of the dirty work. 
Now we can get technology to do it, at least that's what new 
home buyers are counting on as more of them hire 
contractors to install hi-tech systems. If you look past the 
hi-techtosterone bafflegab of digital poobahs, you'll find 
that what they promise is not necessarily what you'll get. 
	In the 1970s sci-fi flick Demonseed, Julie Christie 
gets impregnated by a computer-controlled house. Who 
needs that? In Star Trek, those lazy Federation slobs count 
on a talking computer to do everything but whenever it 
spins out of control, they face death. Thanks, but no thanks. 
Who wants technology they can't control? Much of our 
perception of space age household gadgetry comes from 
pop culture futurism, but what's the reality? What exactly 
are smart homes and is there anyone in Toronto who "does" 
them?
	"To me a Smart Home is a home where devices 
such as home computers,
printers, energy, home and security systems are linked 
together into one
centrally controlled system," says Henrik Ebeklint via 
email. He's the Managing Director of IntelliCom, a 
company headquartered in Sweden that consults with 
international technology companies who want to develop 
home and building automation. IntelliCom manages a 
website called smarthomeforum.com. "We've created 
installations to evaluate how to make concepts function and 
how to provide services at a reasonable cost. The prominent 
integrated features people want, that we'll see within a year 
or two in this order, are shared Internet access, music and 
video on demand, portal services, IP-telephony, bookings, 
home security and energy solutions."
	Broadband is the ticket. Broadband means digital 
"space" large enough to accommodate the information bits 
you need for interrelated home automation and two-way 
high speed Internet connectivity. Broadband innovators like 
the company Bluetooth promise its availability by the end 
of 2001. Until then, it's wires and cables for most of us, 
with a bit of wireless thrown in. In Europe, affordable, 
effective, total wireless home automation may be a reality 
before it is here simply because member nations have been 
hard at work cooperating on how to synchronize a variety 
of systems, technological and otherwise.
	"The U.S. is ahead of Canada in this area," Jeff 
Lockyear of Synergy Home Systems says over the phone. 
Toronto-based Synergy is one of Ontario's leading 
installers of smart home systems. They're who you call to 
outfit your new house or condo with a hi-tech 
infrastructure. Sometimes Jeff receives calls from 
contractors but usually home owners contact him directly. 
"Long gone are the days when you got the cable guy to 
staple wires to your wall. We try to set things up with the 
future in mind. We'll install extra conduits for phones, TVs 
and computers in anticipation of new developments. We're 
big on integration, we believe that all home systems should 
be accessible and controllable from one place. Think of all 
the remotes that pile up with every new feature you add on 
to your television. We want to avoid that."
	As with PCs, which granted are rapidly improving, 
smart homes are bitsy-piecey. The technology is 
Frankensteined together from a variety of unrelated 
sources. Appliance makers, internet service suppliers and 
broadband wireless providers have yet to get on board with  
all-in-one integrated technology available at a reasonable 
price. So it pays to be prudent about what you want your 
home to do, and especially what you don't want it to do.
	"I don't like the term smart home," says Lockyear. 
"I prefer obedient home. Smart home makes me think of 
Demonseed."
Originally published in the National Post

© Guy Babineau 2003-2004
< home