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FRUIT COCKTAILS
Summer drinks fit for a queen
by Guy Babineau
Get out your gender blender and prepare to mix some
glamorous thirst-quenchers compliments of six of
Vancouver’s most popular drag performers. Who better to
dress a drink? Whether dressing up to entertain us — or
dressing down anyone who gets in their way — these
hardworking entertainers are experts at how to have a gay
ol’ time. When the sun blazes on a lazy summer day and
the rest of us let our hair down, drag queens keep it up.
After hoofing in heels, high hair and the heat, there’s
nothing better than kicking back with a lip-smacking
highball or ‘tini. The celebrities have taken time out from
their busy schedules to share with us their delicious original
recipes.
CARLOTTA GURL DE VANDER VOGUE
You can go only so far in Labrador before you have to get
out, if you want to be a superstar. So Carlotta packed her
bags and brought her warm, fun-loving attitude and girlish
figure all the way to Vancouver. Last year, Carlotta was the
29th Empress of Vancouver’s Dogwood Monarchist
Society (DMS), one of over sixty gay court systems in cities
across North America that raise money for an assortment of
charities. She recently landed a principal role in the feature
film Stark Raving Mad. You can catch Carlotta onstage
every Monday night at The Royal Hotel, on Tuesday nights
at The Dufferin Hotel in Tickle Me Tuesdays (with Kristy
Krunt) and Wednesday nights at The Dufferin (with Mz.
Adrien) followed by Lips Inc. at the Odyssey (with Justine
Tyme and Willie Taylor.) Carlotta says that at her ideal
barbecue or picnic, her date would be Alec Baldwin.
Rounding out the guest list would be Salvador Dali, Kate
Bush, Anne Rice and Carlotta’s fellow performer, Connie
Smudge. Forget the cocktail glasses; with this crew you
might as well fill the swimming pool with Pina Carlottas.
PINA CARLOTTA
one shot strawberry tequila
one shot rum
a splash of coconut juice
a splash of pineapple juice
Carlotta suggests serving in a tall highball glass and
garnishing with a parasol, a frozen strawberry and a straw
with her picture on it.
COTTON
And Venus was her name. House of, that is. Cotton escaped
an Ontario tobacco farm to hang out with NYC’s Klub Kids
then went on to become a performance artist in
Windsor/Detroit before flinging herself over the Rockies as
the social director of the House of Venus. Cotton and
cohort Luka are the only Canadians to have performed at
Wigstock, an outdoor drag event in NYC that draws tens of
thousands of people every year. Capacity crowds recently
saw Cotton’s filmmaking side when House of Venus
presented Supa 8 at Pacific Cinematique. Cotton can be
caught hosting Inside at Sonar every Saturday night and
Nice at Shine on Sunday nights. Cotton says that the perfect
summer soiree would include B.C. Lion Dave Benenfield
as her date. Also present would be Grace Jones, David
Suzuki, David Bowie and Farrah Fawcett. We want to
know if she plans on wearing the same gownless evening
strap she wore to the photo shoot.
COTTON JULEP
1 bunch fresh mint
1 cup white sugar
a bottle of bourbon
Boil a litre of water, place in a large pitcher and add mint
(washed) and sugar. Let steep over night in the fridge.
Cotton says to remove the mint and in a short glass filled
with ice measure equal amounts of the mint liquid and
bourbon. Serve on a porch swing on an antebellum estate,
surrounded by male admirers and a civil war.
JOAN-E
Everyone loves a broad. Hailing from Cowgirly, Alberta,
Joan–E is well-liked throughout the gay community
because of her tireless work on behalf of charities and
groups. She’s a no-nonsense gal who can perform like a
showgirl and chug like a longshoreman. Last year Joan-E
was Empress 28 of the DMS. She struts her stuff every
Sunday in Feather Boa at the Odyssey and on Tuesday
nights she co-hosts (with Justine Tyme) gay bingo at the
Royal Hotel, raising money for Friends for Life. They’ve
just passed the $70,000 mark. Joan-E is also working as a
writer/story consultant for a new TV sitcom in
development. According to Joan-E, they want her to write
about the world she knows. Since she lives on another
planet, this should be good. For a day at the beach or a
picnic under the stars, Joan-E’s date would be Robert
Downey Jr. (There’s nothing like skiing in July.) She’d also
invite Bette Midler, Bruce Vilanche, Alan Cumming and
her sister, Justine Tyme.
THE JOAN-E
2 oz Belvedere vodka
1 oz melon liqueur
a splash of real orange juice
a splash of cranberry juice
a splash of lime cordial
Joan-E suggests serving it in a tall glass. Garnish with an
orange slice, a cherry and a Chippendale dancer.
JUSTINE TYME
A charismatic professional and versatile impersonator,
Justine was Empress 13 of the Calgary court system before
packing her trunk and heading for the bright lights of
Vancouver. Her vivacious performances have attracted a
loyal fan following. She does a wicked Annie Lennox,
among others. Like her sister and partner in crime, Joan-E,
for a few years Justine has been up front and centre in the
city’s gay community and never backs down from an
opportunity to support worthy causes and the arts. She
helps Joan-E call the balls at gay bingo every Tuesday at
The Royal Hotel. Justine shows a little gam and a lotta
glam trodding the boards at Odyssey in Lips Inc. on
Wednesday nights and Feather Boa on Sundays. She’s
working on a special version of The Little Shop of Horrors.
Justine says that at her summer do, Brad Pitt would
definitely be her date. Then, of course, she’d have to invite
that Jennifer person. She’d also invite Joan-E and whatever
hooker Joan-E picked up that night.
JUSTINE SLYME
2 shots tequila
a splash of lime juice
a splash of soda
Justine says to serve it over ice in a highball glass. Garnish
with a lime wedge and have your pool boy serve it on the
lanai.
MILAN
Crouching tiger, hidden drag queen. When Milan springs
into action, her feet barely touch the ground. Milan has
made a unique mark on the scene. Surrounded by a troupe
of young, agile dancers, she does a kickass Janet Jackson,
not to mention Jennifer Lopez and Vanessa Williams.
Homegirl Milan sprang from local soil. She was the 18th
Ms Gay Vancouver in 1997/98 and was recently appointed
to the DMS as their 30th Imperial Crown Princess. While
Ms Gay Vancouver, she was a featured performer in Throb,
the city’s biggest drag event to date which raised over
$55,000 for charity in one night. She is currently trying to
coordinate a show with performer Mandy Kamp, which she
plans to put on in a mainstream theatre. Milan’s date at a
summer do would be Freddie Prinze Jr. Other guests would
include the Pope, Martha Stewart, Margaret Cho and
Emmanuel Lewis from Webster. Oh to be a fly on that wall.
Cho would have material for one boffo HBO special.
MILAN ROUGE
2 shots of Absolut Mandarin vodka
a splash of cranberry juice
a touch of grenadine
Add ice and a twist of lime, and garnish with a lifeguard.
SYMONE
Vancouver’s first lady of glam, Symone, has been
performing for several years and is a very visible supporter
of a number of charities and large international gay events.
She has performed at various clubs,The Plaza of Nations
and was Grande Dame MC for Dancers For Life. Symone
has also appeared a number of times at the Stanley theatre
and has hosted events at Whistler. This year she will be
hosting Gay Day at the P.N.E. on Thursday, August 2.
Symone has several film and TV credits too. Symone’s
perfect date for a summer get-together would be Shaquil
O’Neill. Filling out the picnic blanket would be Li’l Kim,
Little Richard, Chicken Little and Hilary Clinton. Hmmm.
Sometimes it takes a village, sometimes it takes a
straightjacket.
SYMONETINI
1 oz Absolut Currant vodka
1 oz Absolut Mandarin vodka
a splash of raspberry liqueur
a splash of cranberry juice
Serve in a martini glass with a sugared rim. Or, to quote
Sandra Bernhardt, you can save the rim for later.
TRY’EM OUT
This summer, every Sunday, you can sample a variety of
these drinks on The Rose Patio at Odyssey. From Sunday,
July 1, Canada Day, until September 2, from 7 p.m. to 9
p.m., the Odyssey is hosting BBQs in support of the
charitable Dogwood Monarchist Society, followed after by
Feather Boa.
Originally published in The Georgia Straight
© Guy Babineau 2003-1004
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