Congratulations on becoming a Dad!

My name is Tom, very proud dad of Tommy. Tommy is 5 months old and he is the light of my life.
We have a blast when we are together and I can not for a minute imagine my life without him.

I was blessed with the opportunity to assist with his birth, and to cut the cord.
I was the first one to hold him, and from the moment he looked into my eyes he stole my heart.

Seeing his face light up when he sees me, hearing his babbles, or watching his
expressions when we play together are memories that will stay etched in my mind.

Holding, cuddling, feeding, changing, bathing, or comforting him are now a major part of my day.
Spending time with Tommy is one of the most important parts of my day.

Tommy is mastering rolling over, holding his head up, sitting up, grasping as all children do.
He is curious about his world, and fascinated by light and musical toys.
He is a real daddy's boy and knows how to manipulate his daddy.

He is happy, fussy, adorable, cranky, funny, and at times frustrating.
He needs to be loved, nurtured and cared for, not unlike any child.

We had some scary moments when he was hospitalized shortly after his birth, mainly because of an
uncertain outcome. Thankfully all was and is well. We have also been lucky that we have
not had any major health issues.

We know that along the way there will be challenges. What they will be is anyone's guess.
We have no crystal ball. We do know that we will deal with anything that comes up,
and will always do what is best for him.

Tommy has taught me alot about myself. He has helped me to be more patient,
loving, and understanding. He helps me to see life through his eyes, with wonder and awe.
He has helped me to realize what being a husband and father truly is.

Tommy is my son and I love him with all my heart.
There is nothing I would not do for him.

Just one more thing, did I mention Tommy has Down Syndrome?

You do not need to apoligize for feeling the way you do. I know you are filled with conflicting
feelings and emotions. That is OK. It really is, I can say this because last February,
I was standing in those shoes you are wearing.

We found out through the triple screen and a confirmation by amnio that Tommy had
the Trisomy 21 form of Down Syndrome. My world was turned upside down and inside out.

I was filled with self doubt, anger, sorrow, confusion and sadness. How did this happen, why did it
happen to me. What did we do to cause this. What dose this mean for my childs
future. Does he have a future?

As a man this was very unsettling to me. We are not suppose to think this way.
We are supposed to support our wives, be there for our kids, provide for our family. As our fathers
put it, be the man of the family. It felt wrong to feel and think the things I did.
How can I be happy about being a father then feel this way. I felt like a failure.

My wife April and I did not speak to each other for 3 days.
Every time I tried to talk to her she would cry.

During those 3 days, I searched the net looking for any and all the information I could find.
I needed to understand, I needed answers, I needed someone to talk to.

I found many sites, but it was posting a question on the CDSS site that really started me on my way.
I received lots of replys, all honest and heartfelt. I was also invited to this site,
and once again asked questions and recieved many heartfelt responses.

This started my journey of understanding and exceptence. It was not easy,and I still had doubts.
But I at least discovered that there is hope and we were not alone.

We finally started talking, and I shared with April what I had found. We read some stories, and the
response we were sent from our questions. Our turning point came when we started communicating.

We knew that we had some further tests, and possible challenges, but we were willing to meet them.
We also gained strength from friends and family and from each other.

You are not alone. There is more I can share, but I do not want to overload you or sound preachy.
If you feel up to it, you can contact me directly. Mel can get my email address from the contact info on this site.

I know it may not seem like it, but it does get better.
It is all a bit overwhelming now, but give it time.

Take Care and best wishes to you and your wife.

Tom Weaver,