Troll / Troll 2
(John Buechler/Drago Floyd(Joe D’Amato); 1985/1991)
(MGM)
-Overview-
Troll – A family moves into an apartment building inhabited by an annoying Troll puppet that systematically turns the inhabitants into mythical woodland creatures and their apartments into forest clearings. A good witch happens to reside upstairs and teams up with the boy of said family when his kid sister is bumped off by the Troll and it assumes her identity. Much green slime ensues.
Clearly one of the older Band productions prior to Full Moon, this film is atrocious. The effects are exceedingly bad, with cheesy puppets and bad special effects in general. The plot is dumb, and the acting is subpar. Not bad enough to be good, just painful. Don’t bother.
Troll 2 - A family plans a vacation house swap with another family from neighboring town of Nilbog. Soon the annoying kid with the huge nostrils of the family discovers that all of the residents of Nilbog are Goblins! And they want to make him and his family eat green stuff so they turn into slime for the Goblins to eat! Oh the horror! With the help of his dead Granpa the stupid kid umm… I forget. Tries to kill all the goblins or some other ridiculous crap.
This has to be a contender for worst film ever made. Directed by infamous splatter director Joe D’Amato under a pseudonym (I don’t blame him), this film is pure unfiltered drivel. The acting is some of the worst ever committed to film, and I found myself in hysterics at even the most mundane line butchered by some fool. I think a school of “Special” children could have given a better acting performance. This film looks like a bad Goosebumps episode. However, I did find this one to be more entertaining than the first. A true celluloid atrocity.
-Sound-
There’s sound. It’s in Mono. Hooray.
-Picture-
Widescreen formats. You can really see the green in the green slime!
-Special Features-
- Trailers
-Packaging-
Standard DVD keep case.
Sound: 4
Picture: 5
Packaging: 4
(Rating scale is out of 10, with 1 being the worst and 10 the best)