(The following text refers to the VHS edition)

Spliced

(Gavin Wilding;2003)

(Alliance / Atlantis)

Mary is a high school senior with an obsession for “horror” films. Mary is really annoying. Mary needs to eat some food. Mary can’t handle the horror movies that she’s obsessed with because they cause her to have nightmares and sleepwalk. When Mary and her friends go and see the new horror film “The Wisher”, people start dying. Mary’s friends need to get naked and have a lesbian orgy. Something is making Mary’s wishes come true in the most “violent and perverted” ways. As violent and perverted as a sanitized cookie cutter horror crapfest can be, at any rate.

Why do I subject myself to watching such drivel? Oh, yeah… it was free. Anyways this is a third rate new generation direct to video slasher film that pulls out every cliché in the book. As well as ripping off many more popular horror films and amalgamating them into one lame movie so that perhaps we won’t notice. Very little gore, and what’s there is unremarkable. One of the better looking actresses does show some skin, but that’s not nearly enough to make the film worth recommending. Let me put it this way: I wasn’t so bored senseless that I had to turn it off, but I certainly wouldn’t waste any more time with it either. Subpar and lame.

Overall Score: 1

(Rating scale is out of 10, with 1 being the worst and 10 the best)