S.I.C.K. (Serial Insane Clown Killer)

(Bob Willems; 2004)

(Artisan)

A group of friends travel out to a remote cabin for a weekend of debauchery. Along the way they pick up a woman in distress at a local tavern and decide to bring her along. The woman is convinced that a man has followed her to the cabin when strange tings start happening, like the refrigerator being filled with headless dolls and other stupid tripe. Soon one of the group goes missing and they discover that there is a crazy guy in a clown mask running around. Boredom ensues.

It’s truly baffling how crap like this gets made, let alone garners a widespread DVD release. This is hands down one of the worst films I have ever been subjected to (and I’ve seen a lot of bad films). Shot on a camcorder and seemingly edited on a VCR, this film is almost as ineptly done as Splatter Farm (although sadly, nowhere near as entertaining). The acting is beyond atrocious, and there’s absolutely nothing worthwhile in the film, despite a sliver of promise within the first 3 minutes. Tons of wasted T&A potential and some of the worst gore effects ever lensed (some of which is somebody cooking steaks on a grill) make this one to avoid like your life depended on it. S.I.C.K. is A.S.S..

Overall Score: 1

(Rating scale is out of 10, with 1 being the worst and 10 the best)