Naked Witch (1961; Larry Buchanan) / Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976; Jack Weiss)
(Something Weird Video/Image)
-Overview-
The Naked Witch: A traveling college student unwittingly resurrects an ancient witch bent on revenge against the family who betrayed her, and proceeds to run around naked, murdering the last remaining descendants. This one is a pure stinkfest. The premise is amusing, and the film is so bad that it’s amusing to watch. However, I was hoping for more naked witchery, if you know what I mean. The film was supposed to be naughty for its time, but the filmmakers seemed to find that too much naked witch is a bad thing, and proceeded to black out her good bits for most of the film. Except for when she's swimming. It’s all rather bizarre, and poorly done. At least the film is short, only clocking in at around 60 minutes.
Crypt of Dark Secrets: A Vietnam Vet living in a secluded swamp home is robbed of his cash and left for dead by three crooks He awakens to discover that he has been claimed by a witch who then takes revenge on his killers, when she’s not dancing in the buff or turning into a snake. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Lots of graphic nudie bits to be found in this one. Unfortunately, that’s about all it has going for it. This has to contain some of the worst acting I have been witness to, aside from Keanu Reeves. The film is dull when there’s no naked witch, and the viewer is treated like an imbecile as the witch’s origins are explained like one would explain something to a three year old. An amusing little film, but nothing I would go out of my way to obtain.
-Sound-
The sound as a whole is fine, with no noticeable problems or distortion. Both films were filmed in Mono. The soundtracks for both films are delightfully cheesy.
-Picture-
The picture quality on the DVD is flawless, or as flawless as could be expected, based on the films in question. The Naked Witch is a little washed out, but seeing as the film is so old and low budget, this is forgivable.
-Special Features-
You certainly get your money’s worth with these something Weird discs. They’re crammed full of cheesy junk.
- Audio Commentary on "The Naked Witch" by Director Larry Buchanan
- Audio Interview with "Naked Witch" Producer and Roadshow Impresario Claude Alexander
- Hex and Hoodoo Trailers for "Bourbon Street Shadows," "The Devil's Garden," "Hot Pants," "Holiday," "Indecent Desires," "Macumba Love," "Swamp Girl," "The Virgin Witch," "Voodoo Village," "Voodoo Woman," "Witchcraft," The Witch's Curse" and more
- TV Spots for "The Naked Witch" and "Crypt of Dark Secrets”
- Musical Voodoo Short "Witch Doctor"
- Stripper Genii Young Voodoo Short "Afro-Cuban Genii"
- Almita goes Wild in "Voodoo Virgin"
- Sandra and Her Flames Star in "Temple Dance"
- A Witch Turns Sexy in Nudie Short "Cigam S'rehtom"
- LSD + Witchcraft = The 8mm Psychedelic Short "Acid Skull"
- A Voodoo Curse, Lesbians, and Dirty Old Men All Combine Incoherently in the 31 Minute Nudie Featurette, "The Hot Pearl Snatch"
- Gallery of Rare "Naked Witch" Behind-the-Scenes Photos and Exploitation Art
- Ghastly Gallery of Ghoulish Comic Cover Art with Horror Radio Rarities
-Box Art-
I always get a kick out of the artwork that adorns the Something Weird library. Pure cheesy fun. I eat this stuff with a spoon.
Sound: 2
Picture: 2
Box Art: 5
(Rating scale is out of 5, with 1 being the worst and 5 the best)