Horror

(Dante Tomaselli; 2002)

(Elite Entertainment)

This film is essentially about nothing. A jumble of random images that make no sense or relation to each other. After a while, I found that I couldn’t care less about what happened or about the characters. Here’s what I gleaned from it: A girl’s grandfather is a priest. Her parents are weirdos. Her father is a minister that gives magic mushrooms to some escaped mental patients. Sometimes one of the weirdos shoots people. There’s a goat hanging around at certain random points of the film. At one point there’s a bunch of zombies who stumble around.

What can I say? This is by far one of the worst movies ever filmed. The filmmaker is obviously trying to make some sort of cerebral Lynch-esque film but is sorely under qualified and out of his league. The film is dull, there’s wasted T&A potential, and it has one of the worst neck-biting effects I’ve ever had the misfortune of watching. Truly painful to watch. Avoid like the plague.

Yeah you can hear stuff, does it matter? Dolby 2.0 surround.

This is the absolute worst DVD transfer ever. It really has to be seen to be believed. In scenes where there’s a lot of white as in areas in the snow, it’s like watching the movie on a scrambled TV channel almost. Hard to describe, but godawful. Widescreen, as if it matters.

- Commentary by director Dante Tomaselli

- Theatrical trailer

- Behind-The-Scenes Footage

- Still Photo Gallery

- Rare Backstage Peek at The AMAZING KRESKIN Giving Cast Members Suggestions

- Never-Before-Seen Clip From Tomaselli's First Short Film, DESECRATION  

Standard DVD keep case. I like the cover, too bad the film is ass. They should warn people about drivel like this.

Sound: 2

Picture: 0.5

Special Features: 2.5

Packaging: 2

Film: 0.5

Overall Rating: 0.5

(Rating scale is out of 5, with 1 being the worst and 5 the best)