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My Story
A Brief History of Diapers - PrologueThis will be a semi-autobiographical story, combining events that have occurred in my life to date as well as events that I so far have only dreamed of experiencing. It starts when I was a boy of about 16. I was a nice kid, for the most part a good kid, rarely getting into any kind of trouble. I was fairly popular with the small group of friends that I had, but that group was not what you would consider to be the 'popular' crowd in the first place. Somewhat shy and an introvert by nature, I was never quite able to win the heart of any girl while I was still in school, although speculation would say that if I had only gotten the nerve up to take the chance there may have been some opportunities. But I had basically a decent childhood with the typical hardships that come from being a bit of a geek and a nerd. I'm proud to say that I am no longer a nerd. I think I'll hang onto the geek status for a while though, it kinda works. Bill Gates is a geek, isn't he?Chapter One - The Theory (my own personal discovery of diapers)During the high school years I had noticed some things, interests, no, desires that had started to play on my mind. Could this have been triggered by the recent move to a very small town? Or perhaps it had something to do with my earliest memory, when I was still a toddler, wearing a diaper. I can still remember the happy, comfortable feeling I was experiencing standing on my bed bouncing my diapered butt on the wall. I think there may have been a load in there, and when my mother came into the room she was not exactly pleased with this behavior. At any rate it is hard to say. The new town was small but nice. It was a place where I would take time to make any friendships, but that there were plenty of woodsy outdoor areas that I could go off and explore whenever I felt so inclined. Always having been interested in nature I eagerly sauntered off into the bush at a moments notice, even getting up especially early some days in the hopes of catching a glimpse of some of the more elusive creatures of the forest. It paid off one day when suddenly, across the creek, stood a beautiful red fox. We noticed each other at almost the same time. It was almost as if there was some kind of connection between the two of us as we just stood and examined each other. One admiring the beauty of the creature, and one most likely just being concerned about whether the other was a threat to it. As outings like this became more frequent, I found that I had become amused with the idea of using the great outdoors as a toilet. It reminded me of the warnings you sometimes see on raffles or lotteries - 'Void where prohibited'. I found this rather amusing and frequently his trips became more focused on these ideas than observing wildlife.Then one day, what did I discover, much to my bemusement - a discarded baby diaper. It was just lying there, neatly rolled up, near the side of the road. The curiosity was too much, and I took it, unwrapped it, and was thrilled to discover that it was not even soiled. It was obvious that the diaper would never actually fit on me, so I held it out in front of myself and peed into it. It was fascinating to watch how the pee was absorbed into the material - how it swelled, became heavy and the top surface virtually dry again afterwards. This experience sparked a new interest - diapers. What a concept! What was it about them that gave me this thrill of excitement when I found one somewhere that I could use? Well, it didn't happen very often, but once in a while I would get the chance to sneak one out of the bag of an unsuspecting host or someone I was babysitting for. Graduation came and went, and I found myself needing to leave home to go to college. Since there wasn't anything even remotely feasible nearby; relocation was a must. Another new set of completely new experiences. College - woohoo! Time to have a little fun without the parents around. Unfortunately, there were roommates around - all the time! Except for one or two times where I used up most of a roll of paper towels and a plastic grocery bag to create a makeshift diaper, the desires were much less strong and frequent. And then it happened. The dawn of the internet. Still not what we know it as today, however. Using a friend's account my roommate and I were ushered into a whole new world that was just starting become more than a mere tool to communicate between universities. Usenet News was born, and while still a text-only interface in Unix, it quickly became immensely popular with discussion groups of any topic imaginable. And I do mean any. It of course didn't take long for pornography to take hold of this new opportunity. I, being young, far from my parents and not as close to my beliefs as I am now, was frequently entertained. Then one day while scrolling through a list of the names of all the different groups I came upon one that literally stopped my breath for a moment. It was alt.sex.fetish.diapers. I was stunned. I thought, 'You mean there are more people on earth that have this strange fascination other than just me? How can that be? Who are they, where are they, what kind of people are they?' It was simply amazing - a moment I may never forget. Chapter Two - The Application (how I learned to enjoy diapers)After reading that, and several other diaper-related groups for some time, and then as the new http transfer protocol arrived and people started making their own personal web sites I gained the courage to actually go to a store and buy some adult diapers for myself. I was so nervous. I spent some time walking down the incontinence aisle very nonchalantly, as I scoped out the different brands and prices. I can't remember honestly what the first brand that I actually purchased was. Let's say they were the Attends with waistband, since those really were my favorite for a long time. I checked out the waist size labels as inconspicuously as I could to make sure that I chose the correct size - looked like it was going to be mediums for me. Then I took the plunge pulled the bag from the shelf. I headed for the nearest checkout counter, walking as if I was James Bond leaving the scene of an explosion he had just caused. Wanting to run, but knowing that anything other than a brisk walk would only draw attention to myself. The embarrassment of waiting in line to get to the checkout was one of the longest minutes of my life. Constantly in fear that someone that I knew would end up in line behind me and ask a stupid question. I've never used the old “they’re for my grandmother” excuse. I wonder how many times that has been used, how many have seen through it, and how many be have been legitimate but not believed. Finally it was my turn at the resister. I'm thinking, "Please no price check, PLEASE no price check or embarrassing comments!" My heart rate must have been as high as spending 10 minutes on the rowing machine. I made it thorough the checkout through. No police arrive to make sure that I was only buying those diapers because I needed them or anything, so I was almost home free. Now just to get out of the store and into my car with as few people noticing me as possible. I guess a guy carrying a big bag out of a store like Wal-Mart isn't that interesting to most people, fortunately for me.Then that was it. I was back home with a full, fresh bag of Attends in the trunk of my car. Excellent, no roommates were home. I headed back down to the car with a big garbage bag to cover up the bag of Attends as I brought it inside. Didn't want the neighbors getting any weird ideas. And then finally, I was back in my room. Excitedly, I opened the package and pulled out the first diaper. Not quite like a Pampers, but it definitely had a distinctive smell. I wasn't sure I liked it at first, but eventually I grew to love it. I spent some time just looking at the diaper. Turning it around in my hands, experiencing all angles of it. Giving it a squeeze to see how much noise it made. Feeling the soft texture of the inside, and the crinkly but soft plastic of the cover. All the while the anticipation of how it was going to feel on my body was growing. Now the time had come to put it on. Having shed my clothes, I laid the diaper down on the bed and sat on top of it. I repositioned myself a little, and then pulled the front of the diaper up between my legs. Wow, what an experience! It felt so soft and nice as I pulled it tight across my belly and fastened the tapes. Then I stood up. My hands played across the surface of the diaper, just absorbing the way the plastic felt now that it was actually on me. It was on me! A real adult-sized diaper and I was wearing it! It was such a rush. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes following all the lines and contours of the diaper as it wrapped around between my legs and came up over my behind. I patted myself on the butt, grabbing at the diaper slightly, then smoothing it out again. I could have done that for hours. Seeing how it looked on me from different angles in the mirror and feeling the different sensations of how it felt against my body. I had found something that gave me a feeling unlike anything else that I'd experienced before. Now being a fairly logical kind of person, I was then faced with the next logical thing to do in my new situation. I'm referring, of course, to actually using the diaper for its intended purpose! I was rather tentative in my first REAL diaper wetting experience. I just stayed in the bathroom, because I wasn't yet confident in how my wonderful Attends would handle a sudden deluge of liquid. It took a while for me to be able to relax enough, but eventually I was able to pee. I felt myself letting go, and I was greeted yet again with a whole new sensation. The baby diapers that wouldn't fit and the makeshift adult diapers that I had tried before just weren't the same. The Attends thirstily took as much as I had to offer. The feeling of the spreading warmth was simply delightful! As the diaper absorbed my urine, it naturally became somewhat bulkier. This led to another time of touching the diaper, pressing it against myself, just enjoying the sensations. I realized that it was quite good at its job, and that if I used several different positions such as standing or lying on my back or stomach, I could wet the diaper several times without having to worry much about it leaking. Soon I was living on my own, with no more pesky roommates. I was free to wear diapers pretty much whenever I wanted around my apartment. I did so frequently, especially to bed at night. Eventually, I started wearing them when I was going out in public. This brought a new level of excitement to the game. Now there was the constant worry that somehow my diaper would show through my clothes, that someone would notice an unusual bulge, or that I would get a leak! My favorite time to do this was when I went to the public library on Saturdays. The library has a great selection of music CDs, and it was a weekly habit of mine to go and browse through it to find new and interesting music. There was definitely a kind of thrill and exhilaration being diapered out in public. I could be wetting myself while there was someone standing right beside me, and they wouldn't have a clue. I even wet myself standing at the checkout, while talking to the lady that worked there! As time went by, I came to realize that for the most part, people don't notice what they don't expect to see. And of those that might think that they notice something slightly unusual, they won't say anything about it. Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice and comment on a slightly out of the ordinary bulge in someone else's jeans. And I am talking very slightly here. I am not an exhibitionist, and always do my best to look as normal as possible while out diapered. I usually wear a long shirt or jacket to cover as much of my butt as possible, so that there wouldn't be anything to see unless I was bending over at the waist. Only then would a slight diaper bulge be visible between my legs. So, a little precaution, and you can get away with surprisingly much out in public! Several times I have gone out with my best friends for dinner and/or a movie while wearing diapers. The fact that I would never have to go to the bathroom could become suspicious, but as long as I remember to go to one when no one else in my group is and just wash my hands, that takes care of that. It's really cool to go see a movie and know that you don't have to worry about how much you have to drink before it! Chapter Three - The Results (how I see my next relationship)The past is now behind us. The defining moments have done their work; shaped my personality. For the most part, I think I turned out pretty well. One of the few things that I still want in my life is that special someone to love, a girl that I can connect with on a spiritual level. We don't need to have everything in common, as long as there is a good starting point. Love of diapers is definitely a good starting point because of its intimate and unusual nature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to believe that having love of diapers as a common interest is enough to make a good relationship. That obviously takes mutual feelings, philosophies, attraction, passion, and good old-fashioned work. It's about the whole person, not just a hobby or interest. But there wouldn't be the stress of going through the first however many months of a relationship worrying about when to tell her about my secret interests, and fearing the reaction that could bring. We could be honest about that from the beginning, and then everything else would just fall into place for better or worse. Our long-term compatibility could be established much more easily since we would be able to focus on all of the other important aspects of the relationship without worrying about when to share that secret desire. I fully realize that there are many things in life more important than being able to share the love of diapers with someone. In fact, for the right girl, I would be willing to give them up forever. That is not to say that there might not be times when I would give in to the temptation, however. How much more fulfilling would it be though, to find someone to share that with instead of hide it from? And after all, this is supposed to be a story about diapers!So let's move on. The theory is over, and must be put into practice. I am living my life - most of the time happy with my achievements and myself. I wear diapers quite often. My usual brand is now Tena Ultra. In the past few years, it has become almost impossible to find the good old 6 tape with waistband Attends anywhere anymore. It is beyond my comprehension why those have disappeared and yet you can get Depends just about anywhere, which are a vastly inferior product, in my opinion. The Tenas are nice though. They have the same cloth-like cover that baby diapers all have now. This is good for wearing them out in public, because it does make them a lot quieter. I do miss the pure plastic covering of the Attends and earlier Tenas though. That was definitely a good part of the whole experience. So I keep trying out new brands and getting samples, but so far there is not much competition for the Tenas based on price, absorbency, and reliability of the fastening tapes. But I digress, that paragraph almost belongs in the previous chapter. I know what I'm looking for. I've joined various Yahoo groups and other sites dedicated to AB/DLs. I keep hoping that one day I will find someone with whom I can connect on that level that I know a real relationship requires. I make a few online friends; they come and go. Then one day it happens. I find the profile of a girl who sounds as though she likes diapers just as much as I do, maybe even more! Encouraged, I write to her and am delighted when I get her reply. She's young, she's pretty, she wants to get to know me! We begin an online friendship, learning about each other. Our likes and dislikes, our hobbies and interests, and our hopes for the future. The fact that we both love diapers adds an extra spark to the relationship. We share stories of our adventures in life, both in and out of diapers. She brings out a new passion in me - enough to cause my regular friends to notice the change. I've met someone online - they've heard that before, but it seems different this time. If only I could tell them about the diapers! Many times I've wanted to, but in the end I think it's best if they don't know. Finally we are both ready to meet in person. We've found while getting to know each other that there seems to be a really good connection between us. We have a few things in common other than just diapers, and it seems like a good time to take the relationship to the next level. This has been a much-anticipated moment! We arrange to meet at a coffee shop with plans to go for dinner and/or to a movie if things are going well. We've also both agreed to wear diapers under our clothes for the meeting to make it that much more memorable. As I get ready to leave, I can feel my heart rate increasing and my cheeks starting to flush slightly. I've never been this excited about a first date before! Knowing that it could be a long evening, without much chance of being able to change, I decide to go with my extended leak proof setup. I take one of the Tenas out of my diaper drawer and lay it out on my bed. Then I get a Pampers size six, and cut into the cover just enough to allow liquid to get through once it has absorbed all it can. I lay down on the Tena and line it up across my lower back. Then the Pampers gets tucked into place, and is covered up as I pull the Tena up between my legs. The tapes are secured, and I take a moment to make a few adjustments to how everything is positioned. I dress carefully, making sure that my pants aren't pulled up too tightly, and that my shirt will come down just far enough to cover my butt - at least while standing. All set. She will be the only person that knows I'm wearing diapers. I arrive at the coffee shop a little early, as I usually do when meeting anyone somewhere. This gives me a little time to try to relax, although I'm still a bit nervous. Then I see her coming from a little ways off. She looks terrific! I make a point of telling her this when she arrives and we greet each other with a hug. Feeling that we've known each other for a while now and deciding to be a bit daring, I let my hand slip down to give her just enough of a squeeze to be able to tell that she lived up to her end of the bargain! She giggles, says, "See, I promised!", and then proceeds to give me a pat on the ass in return. What a great icebreaker! We find a place to sit down, and tell each other how great it is to finally meet in person. We are both exactly what the other was expecting - no surprises, no let downs, and even though we are both still a little nervous, everything just feels natural. We decide to go for a walk and then for dinner. The coffee shop was a good place to start, but not really private enough for some good conversation. We continue talking about anything that comes to mind. The walk is good - it gives us things to observe during breaks in conversation. Eventually we head to a restaurant for dinner. We manage to get one of the most private booths so that as little of our conversation could be overheard as possible. We talk about everything from the weather down to our inmost feelings and beliefs. We chuckle at people having to get up from where they were and go into the bathrooms. It's fun to laugh about. "If only they were wearing diapers, they wouldn't have to worry about that and could just enjoy themselves!" After dinner we walk around for a while longer. I reach for her hand as we're strolling along. As our fingers touch, it sends a chill of excitement up my spine. I completely forget about the fact that we're both wearing diapers. It's an almost magical feeling as my entire body responds to the contact of a girl that I know I could fall deeply in love with. As I take her hand she looks up at smiles at me. As we look into each other's eyes we can feel a bond between us that will only grow stronger... Before long our relationship has progressed to the point where we make plans to spend the night together. For the first time, we will actually be diapering each other! It's been an evening similar to some of our other dates. Dinner, a movie or some other event, or just a nice stroll through the river valley. We arrive back at my house and I turn the furnace up so that it will be comfortable with slightly less clothes on. Everything has been prepared. I have plenty of diapers, mediums for me, smalls for her. We head into the bedroom and remove our clothes. I give her a kiss and get her to lie down on the bed. As I unfasten the tapes of the diaper she had been wearing during the evening our eyes meet and we both giggle with excitement. After removing her slightly wet diaper, I make sure she is fresh and clean by gently wiping her with a baby-wipe. Then I apply just a bit of baby powder to make sure that she's dried off enough, and for that nice scent that it adds. I pull a fresh diaper out for her with a grin on my face. This is so awesome! As I position it underneath her, I lean forward and give her a kiss on her navel, which causes her to squirm and laugh. My heart is racing now. The view from where I am kneeling on the bed in front of her is breathtaking. She is so beautiful, and it takes every ounce of my will power to keep from just pouncing on her! But I manage to pull the diaper up between her legs and fasten the tapes. The diaper crinkles wonderfully as I caress her through it both in front and in behind. As she stands up, her profile with the diaper on is so stunning that I grab her and we share a long, passionate kiss. She squeezes her legs together a few times, just enjoying the feeling of the fresh diaper as I pat her on the bum, and then it is her turn to change me. I lie down and let her remove my wet diaper. She gives me a quick wipe and a bit of powder as well, before getting my fresh diaper ready. I was already becoming aroused while diapering and kissing her, and now as she positions a diaper under me and begins to pull it up between my legs, my excitement is obvious. I let her finish pulling the diaper up though, and fastening it around my waist. Some things are worth waiting for. We pull on some T-shirts and head to the living room to snuggle up on the couch and watch a bit of TV. It's hard to keep my hands to myself, however. I touch the back of her neck, then trace a line from the front of her ear down to underneath her chin. She gives a slight shiver and turns towards me. As we kiss, we begin to caress each other's bodies and lose ourselves in pleasure. After a little while, we move back into the bedroom and continue to kiss and touch each other. The feeling of the diaper on her as I gently caress her body is incredibly sexy, and I can tell that she feels the same way as she responds to me; kisses me, and touches me in return. We eventually collapse into each other's arms, somewhat out of breath, both wanting more, but knowing when to stop. I tell her how beautiful she is, she says, "Thanks", and "I think I'm falling in love with you". I say, "Me too". With a final kiss, we snuggle together and begin to drift off into sleep. As I lay there, pressed up against her, I come to a realization. The diapers don't make the girl, the girl makes the diapers. Sure, the diapers are great, fun, and exciting, but they are only a catalyst. It's her that makes everything so special, and I would be just as happy without the diapers as long as she was with me. The End I hope you enjoyed this, please feel free to send me your comments. dl_boy@hotmail.com. |