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(Player profiles written by Mark H.)
 Dave "The Instigator" Bergbusch
Number: 15
Position: Forward
Whenever things need to get started…whenever things are at a lull…this is
when The Instigator is at his most
effective, and most deadly. Whether it
is a motivational speech, a fantastic
play, or his mere presence, The
Instigator acts as a lightning bolt in
an opponent’s dry forest… leaving them
burned to nothing.
 Mark "The Tower" Hornung
Number: 4
Position: Defence
Known
for his ominous and foreboding presence,
The Tower overlooks all on the rink’s
playing surface. Nothing escapes his
eye... no one escapes his glance… no one
escapes his wraith. He waits for the
moment when the opposition does not
expect it… and makes them pay dearly.
    
Kyle "The Yellow Dart" Jordanov
Number: 2
Position: Forward
Cutting through the air and defences
alike, The Yellow Dart strikes fear and
awe in the hearts of his opponents.
Agile and graceful, The Yellow Dark is
able to elude any defender and send the
puck into the back of the net. And as
usual, he puts it right where he wants
it: right on the bull’s eye.
 Mark
"The Professor" Bergbusch
Number: 8
Position: Forward/Defence
With
an encyclopaedic knowledge of hockey,
The Professor is a true master of the
sport. Instantly, he can call up plays
that the greatest hockey teams have
used. His ability to harness this
knowledge from the past, so it can be
used in the present, will assuredly
devastate all opponents in the future.
Ernest "Big Poppa" Muswagon
Number: 10
Position: Forward/Defence
Proud
and noble, Big Poppa's authority of the
rink is undeniable. When he takes to the
rink, it is all business. He knows what
needs to be done, and will stop at
nothing to ensure that it is done. All
who fall in his path, though defeated,
have the utmost respect for him
nevertheless.
    
 Robbie
"The Newf" Dell
Number: 7
Position: Defence
Hard
as a rock and like an island in the sea,
the Newf stands strong in an environment
of adversity. Always ready to go, always
ready to take one for the team, The Newf
ensures that the job gets done, and
makes sure that it is done right. He is
the rock, which the team leans on to
stay strong, and to stay motivated.
      
 Sam
"Baby Face" Muswagon
Number: 22
Forward
Smaller than most, the Baby Face has no
problem getting in the corners, bumping
the puck away from our opponents, and
working in the trenches to make much
larger opponents look like little
wussies. Even if he is the youngest of the Phat Sax, he has no problem taking other
hockey veterans to school.
Tim "The Bomber" Wilson
Number: "01"
Defence/Goalie
Goalies all over the league are
panicking, now that the Bomber has been
unleashed upon them. Now that the Bomber
is ready to light up the scoreboard, all
you'll hear from our defeated foes is:
Shoulda stopped the f$$kin' bomber!
Denny "The Doctor" Wong
Defence
With a PHD in defence, and a MBA in
making people look stupid, the Doctor is
definitely in the house when it comes
diagnosing a scoring chance, and
stopping that shat before it gets
infected.
Calvin "The Eliminator"
Wood
Defence/Goalie
Shattering the hopes and dream of
our foes, The Eliminator shuts the
opposition down. Breakaways, 2, 3,
or 4, on 1 or none's.... it doesn't
matter. You're not going to score
anyways. Just go home and rest up
for another game that you may have a
hope in hell of winning.
Joe "The Blitzer"
Defence
It doesn't matter what
position The Blitzer plays: he
always makes opponents look bad.
Did he to it to you when
he broke up your 3 on 1 or when
he danced right through your
"defence" and scored? Don't
worry: it'll happen... a
lot...you'll get over it.
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Kevin
"The Shark" Lamoreaux
Mike
"The General" Wrightson
