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July 24, 2005 - Well, the
Daddies didn't quite fare as
well as we would have hoped
during the season, but then
again, we didn't get a chance to
play the bottom three teams 13
times this season. Out of
a 20 game schedule, that's a
guaranteed 26 points.
Considering that you lost one
and tied one, you really only
had to work for 5 games
throughout the season.
We're not making excuses for our
performance, but damn, some
teams (and you know who we're
talking about) had some damn
amazing scheduling going on.
Other than that, it's been a fun
season filled with those who
pretend like they know how to
talk trash, but realize that
they don't have a snazzy website
from whence to spew their
vitriol. Since the
majority of the people coming
here to jaw-jack probably don't
know the meaning of vitriol,
much less how to pronounce it
(English, from the evidence left
in the guestbook is apparently
becoming as dead of a language
as latin), we figure that
although we placed fifth in the
league we're still the ones who
get the last laugh.
On that note, "Ha!" and we'll
see you in the playoffs.
April 26, 2005 - There's
nothing to say, the Daddies
slapped around the Flyers like a
red-headed stepchild. CDS
got lucky on two fronts:
1) They barely won,
putting away the winner in the
last 30 seconds, and 2)
That one of their players wasn't
dropped like his mom to her
knees. It's just a game,
sparky. You're the only
one who takes it seriously.
We lost count of who scored
what, but it doesn't matter, the
Daddies are going to bend the
"C" Pool over the sofa and
donkey punch the hell out of it.
April 17, 2005 - A new
season starts, with the Daddies
moving over to the Casual C Ball
Hockey league.
After the Daddies absolutely
crushed the spirits and bodies
of all in the Men's Floor
League, the WAHA decided it'd be
better to just abolish the Men's
Floor pool and provide fresh
meat to appease the insatiable
blood thirst of those gods of
the rink, the Daddy Phat Sax.
Note: Virgins are not to
be sacrificed, but instead
directed to the Phat Sax locker
room.
Addendum to above note: Of
age virgins only, please.
We're not Strange Brew here...
February 1, 2005 - So,
0-19 eh? It's pretty sad
when you do so badly that you
actually start becoming proud of
it.
As for the scores of the last
games, who cares. Just
remember, none of you would have
HALF of the points you have if
it wasn't for us, so don't go
around thinking you're good
hockey players or anything.
You're just good at scoring on
an inept team. (Sure, it's
better than losing to an inept
team, but go to hell).
Oh, The Tower got an assist.
He's proud of his point.
He even jumped up and down like
a pervert on a playground to
prove it. Scotty put it
behind the net shortly
thereafter.
January 16, 2005 - Okay,
so you may be "better" than us
at hockey, or at least you tell
yourself you are. And
maybe you score a lot of goals
to prove it, and maybe your team
mates do too. And just
maybe we don't score many in
retaliation, so it may look like
we're losing, but...shit I don't
even know where I'm going with
this.
Dave B. puts a puck behind the
red like and Kyle J. helps him
out, plus scores two of his own.
Mark H. shows the Blazers why
he's the, *ahem* muthafuckin'
TOWAH (Ebonics to English:
Tower), and Sammy shows that
he's never gonna give up by
taking an insane slapshot in the
leg then continuing to fight for
the puck by crawling after it.
No more sugar from these
Daddies, we may lose, but we're
going to shit in your mouth
first (unless that's your fetish
or something, then we're going
to stay the fuck away from you).
January 13, 2005 - Wow,
no updates for a month.
Oops. Anyway, nothing new
to report here. Last game
was Pornstars (12 or some other
obscene number) vs. Daddy Phat
Sax (5). The Instigator
racks up another point, The Gun
grabs a couple, and The Yellow
Dart gets his first hat-trick
and uses up all his luck for the
rest of the season.
It's kind of funny how seriously
some people take this fun
league. Instead of tearing
people a new one, maybe a quote
directly from the WAH website
would be appropriate: "If
you do not know how to have fun,
what the f--k are you doing
here?" Maybe some people
should be asking themselves that
question. Your not in the
NHL, your pasty, old, fat ass
will never be in the NHL.
Don't try to pretend you are by
being a tough-guy in a beer
league. If you're looking
for glory, find a hole in a
bathroom stall somewhere.
December 13, 2004 - What
do the Phat Sax and Jenna
Jameson have in common?
They're always getting screwed.
In one of the most beautiful
plays to date, the Daddies were
robbed of a goal by a bullshit
"interference" call.
Dejected, the Daddies lost
against Strange Brew 8-4, but
were ten times the better team.
Bad bounces and a late second
period break-down led to the
defeat. Ernest gets credit
for two goals, while Neil and
Kyle rack up the other two.
Dave extends his point streak to
four games.
December 6, 2004 -
There's only so many ways we can
make losing sound good.
Last night's double header saw
the Phat Sax go down in defeat
to Strange Brew and Bloody
Chops. Whatever, we're not
worried. We'll take the
B-Side final, again, after our
opponents (it really doesn't
matter who) choke (cough,
Strange Brew,
cough).
November 28, 2004 - The
Daddies take on Bloody Chops at
8:30 P.M. And promptly
lose. Down by 7 goals, and
some douchebag on the Chops
decides to get all huffy
about...ahh who cares what it
was about, the point is the guy
was a douchebag. I guess
you have to have a big mouth
when you're three feet tall and
walk around like you're still
recovering from dropping the
soap in your own damned locker
room.
The 28th also marks the return
of Captain Fantastic, scoring a
goal and earning an assist.
Mark B. gets a goal along with
Kyle J. And Scotty B.
shows the Chops why he's "The
Gun," ripping the puck into the
back of the net off of a
face-off. And all this
time we thought it was because
of his prowess in the bedroom.
So we've been told, that is...
November 25, 2004 -
Alright, this webpage has been
on a bit of a hiatus, we've been
busy playing hockey. And
whatever, we may be 0-7, but
your girlfriend still sucks in
bed (trust us, we all know).
Who's the loser now?
August 22, 2004 - On a roll from
a two game winning streak (forfeit my
ass, it's a win) the Daddies took on
Strange Brew in the B-Side Final.
It was a close game with a couple of fluke
goals being scored by both
sides. The game was close
until the third, when Strange
Brew danced around the Daddies
going up 6 to 3. However,
with only five minutes left in the game,
the Daddies put on a stunning offensive
display by scoring a goal a
minute, taking the game 8 to 6
and emerging as B-Side
champions!
After the game, the Daddies were
promptly arrested and charged with
1st degree molestation of an
opponent.
The summer season may be over, but the
Daddies will definitely be back in
October. Watch your cornhole,
because now we've got a championship to
defend.
August 15, 2004 - Using Madogz’s
tried tested and true “We’re So Sacred
Of the Spanking That We’re Gonna Get
From the Daddy Phat Sax, We’ll Just
Forfeit” playoff strategy, DSC decided
to forfeit against us, and the rest of
their playoffs, as well. Obviously, they
saw us scrimmaging on the 8th and wanted
no part of the pain and fury that is the
Daddy Phat Sax.
That was our last game of the playoffs,
and we ended it with a record of 2-1. We
have our grudge-match against Strange
Brew in the B-side Finals.
August 11, 2004 - Thanks to Jay
and The King’s Head Pub, our sponsors
for the 2004/2005 Winter Floor Hockey
season. The Head will buy us brand
spanking new sexy jerseys. After all,
being the Pimps of the Ice that we are,
we need the best threads in the league.
The King’s Head, is the best pub in the
Peg, so go there dammit. And spend lots
of money.
August 8, 2004 - After a
disappointing loss to Strange Brew 4-2,
it seemed that Madogz were too scared to
face the mighty Phat Sax, forfeiting the
game against us and thus, the rest of
their playoffs. Hey, we’ll take what we
can get, but we’d rather have kicked
their butts then having them served to
us on a silver platter. Can’t blame ‘em,
really. I mean, we would have spanked
them anyway.
August 1, 2004 - After our final
game of the season, we stand at 9
points, with an overall record of 4
wins, 15 losses, and 1 overtime loss. We
tied for last place with DSC, fulfilling
our manifest destiny that we would not
be the worst team in the league in our
inaugural season. Not bad for a bunch of
guys in their first year of playing
hockey.
May 30, 2004 - A second victory.
After having to forfeit our game against
them in week two, the Daddy's defeated
DSC by the score of 4 to 1. It was a
good game played on both sides, with
some unbelievable phantom penalties, but
the Daddy's came out on top. A sincere
thank you goes out to the DSC for being
gracious last game when we had to
forfeit, and good luck in the future!
(We will meet again...)
The organizers have posted a great new
site. View it
here.
May 19, 2004 - Revenge, oh sweet
revenge. Strange Brew falls trembling at
the feet of the mighty Daddys. On May 9
the Daddys handed out a bare assed
licken' to the dirty Brews. Thanks in
big part to the outstanding goal tending
of Tim and the unprecedented sober
condition of our players victory was
won.
The Daddys lost to the Brews the next
game on May 16. We now sit at a stellar
record of 1 and 5.
April 19 - Well, the season is
underway. Not a bad beginning for the
Daddys. Other than having to forfeit the
game due to not having a goalie, and
some asshole trying to pick fights in a
fun-league, it was all good. I guess
it's easy to be a tough guy in a in a no
contact game. However, our opponents,
the Strange Brew were very decent guys
(with the exception of the asshole) and
it was a pleasure meeting them. Good
luck in your future games (you might
want to invest in a leash for yippy,
though). Luckily our heros are
untouchable and undaunted. Look for a
brutal recovery in the next two games.
Watch for roster changes coming soon. We
are currently scouting for a goalie.
April 16, 2004 - Our schedule is
posted as follows:
April 18 - 5:30
April 25 - 1:30, 5:30
May 2 - 10:30
May 9 - 1:30
May 16 - 12:30
May 24 - 1:30
May 30 - 12:30
June 6 - 1:30, 5:30 vs. DSC and
Claymores
June 13 - 5:30 vs. Madogz
June 20 - 1:30 vs. Blazers
June 27 - 5:30, 8:30 vs. Claymores and
GoodFella's
July 4 - 12:30 vs. Strange Brew
July 11 - 1:30 vs. Pornstars
July 18 - 12:30, 2:30 vs. Strange Brew
and DSC
July 25 - 1:30 vs. Pornstars
August 2 - 2:30 vs. GoodFella's
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