And thus begins the story of C.S.Strowbridge, the man, the myth, the legend.2.
The above image is too sexy for human viewing.
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&emsp &emsp It was evident from the very beginning that C.S.Strowbridge was a man of greatness, his destiny was to rise above common mouth breathing troglodytes like you that overpopulate this world. This destiny manifested itself early, for before his first birthday C.S.Strowbridge was already shaping the world around him with his genius. Through tireless effort and brilliant investigative journalism C.S.Strowbridge was instrumental in forcing Richard Nixon to resign3. On a side note, C.S.Strowbridge supports the death penalty for anyone who uses the suffix '-gate' to describe any controversy. &emsp &emsp After a brief, but memorable, stint in prenatal investigative journalism4 C.S.Strowbridge turned his fiery determination and brilliance to the world of home computers. Already an innovator with the Altair 8800, he was approached by a couple of members of the Homebrew Computer Club Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs. They had just completed the video game "Breakout" when they set their sights on a home PC. And faster that you can say, QED5 the Apple I and less than a year later, the Apple II were released. The introduction of the Apple II paved the way for the information revolution. A revolution that continues to bring the world a virtual Heaven6 and a virtual Hell7. &emsp &emsp While on a public speaking tour promoting the fledgling personal computer industry and it's potential impact on the film industry8, C.S.Strowbridge met a young film maker at the University of Southern California School of Cinema. He was trying to make another sci-fi movie, but he couldn't get past bald men in white outfits living in a distopian future Earth. So C.S.Strowbridge had this prophetic conversation with him, 'First of all, don't set it in the future, set in the past.' &emsp &emsp With the riches he accumulated through his technology exploits C.S.Strowbridge decided to concentrate next on more humanitarian needs. It was then C.S.Strowbridge set his sights on man's second oldest enemy, Smallpox10. Travelling throughout Africa, C.S.Strowbridge visited village after village, personally inoculating millions of people on his quest to irradiate this most fiendish disease11. Due to this selfless act, C.S.Strowbridge was showered with the world's gratitude12. More on the fantastic life of C.S.Strowbridge to come shortly. 1.) This is the only actual fact in this page, and I'm not sure of the 'dark and stormy' part. 2.) But mostly myth. 3.) Yes I know Nixon resigned 11 days before C.S.Strowbridge was born. But if you are going to look for minor inconsistencies like that you have a long job ahead of you. 4.) Prenatal Investigative Journalism is not only C.S.Strowbridge's first job, it was also the name of the Punk Rock band he started in the Mid 80's. But I'm getting ahead of myself. 5.) QED stands for, 'Quod Erat Demonstrandum.' Which is Latin for, 'I am pretentious.' 6.) In the form of free Porn. 7.) In the form of Pop Up Ads. 8.) How's that for a forced segue. 9.) As you can see, he never got over his obsession. 10.) Mankind's oldest enemy is, of course, Erectile Dysfunction. Not that C.S.Strowbridge would have any first hand knowledge about that. 11.) I'm still talking about Smallpox, and not Britney Spears. Unfortunately there is no vacine that works against her. 12.) And more than a few indecent proposals. |