Past Life Memories
When I look at the WORD Reincarnation I see ''Re-Ink Our Nation.'' So that's what I'm going to do. By writing out for you my own past life memory and how this came about. The whole thing took five and a half years before the actual moment of realization. Although at the same time and at least for the prior twenty years, I had Prayed to God to let me know the Great Wonders and Great Mysteries of the Human Soul. I would say to God that I am ready to know and that if there is such a thing as Reincarnation, then I am also ready and willing to see my past lives and that I would then tell others. Well..... as they say..... be careful what you Pray for unless you have everything well thought out. Fortunately for me, I was very serious when I Prayed for such things. In July 1995 I was introduced to something that I thought I knew everything about. That something is Meditation. Everything happened very quickly. I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years. 'Twas summer time, a beautiful warm evening, just starting to get dark as I walked over, a few kids still playing outside. Barely a breeze. As I approached his home I could hear the muffled sound of what I thought was Tibetan music. Prior to that time I'm sure I'd heard this sort of thing before, probably on TV or at a movie. I was pretty sure this lovely foreign sound was Tibetan. As I got closer to his house the music got a little louder, then as I walked up his path I realized, to my surprise, that the soft gentle guttural hum, sound of cymbals and horns, was coming from my friends living room. I had never known him to listen to music of any kind, this guy was a pilot, bushman, hunter and fisherman. I went in and there he was meditating to the music. I asked if the music was Tibetan... he said 'yes.' I asked him what kind of meditation he's doing. He said, 'I'm feeling for my throat Chakra, this music activates the throat Chakra.' He was lying down on the couch doing this... not in the typical Lotus position. He told me one could meditate in any position if one wanted. Naturally I asked him, 'What are Chakra's?' He gave me a quick basic rundown, I was a little familiar with what he told me and so completely understood when he explained. I wanted more, the prior two weeks I had fervently Prayed for more wonders of the Human Soul. I felt as if my Prayers had been answered. My friend became my instant Teacher and I his enthusiastic and willing student. Quite different from the fly in fishing trips and gallivanting through the bush escapades I knew him for. After a few minutes standing there listening to him in his livingroom, I told him I wanted to learn how to feel my Chakra's or energy centers as some say. Also how to properly meditate. He simply said, 'sit down, relax yourself, listen to the music and tell me what you feel. I sat down, relaxed myself and told him that I thought I could feel my Heart Chakra and that I was also getting pictures. He said, 'Oh, you are a visualizer.'' I replied and said, 'well... it's easy for me to make pictures in my head, but these ones are coming from out of nowhere.' The gentle hum of Tibetan Gyuto Monks throat singing began to permeate my whole being. I felt like I was somewhere else other than Canada, something seemed familiar about it all, but I wasn't sure what it was. My mind frame was totally prepared in one way, yet in another way I was totally bewildered at what was being told to me about Chakra's, sound and well being. I was being told things that I thought I knew everything about.... in a very simple way. My friend asked me to describe the pictures I was getting. I was a little embarrassed because of the grandeur of the inner like visions I was getting. Nevertheless, I felt comfortable with my Scottish bush man hunter whom I felt had turned into a sort of Guru, so I began describing.
Now I'm going to tell you.
Within my mind I could see a beautiful snow capped mountain, an Eagle appeared and flew to the mountain top and then landed with wings continuing to be spread in like a glory. My friend said, 'you have been introduced to the Great Spirit.' He may have used different words, this was back in July '95. Today's date is March 7, 2002 and I've never written this out before. I know it was something like that he said. At that time I wasn't as sensitive as he was when it came to feeling ones Chakra's, but the pictures were great. I almost felt I had let him hypnotically suggest to me that I could meditate. The inner visions that followed I will never forget. This is all the same summer evening.... so far.
He continued to have me describe what I was seeing within. I told him I could see what I thought was a young Hindu boy leading a Goat, walking away from me, then the boy turns and I can clearly see that the boy was from India. This inner vision would quickly go away and be replaced by another picture of an older boy leading a Donkey, who would also stop, turn and look back, 'definitely India' I said again. The inner vision or picture if you like, would change yet again, this time into a man and now leading a Horse, he also stopped and turned, this time there was no doubt, he had marks on his forehead that indicated to me he was Indian and I realized that these were all the same person, just successively older pictures. Yet again it happened, this time leading a Cow, he turned, his hair is jet black, curly and was longer, he was older. Finally once more this inner vision came to me, again with the same person, he didn't look back this time, he was amongst a crowd of people as they walked away. He made it to the front of them and began to lead the way. Everyone was extremely happy for whatever had occurred. I had no idea what this meant, though my friend and his wife suggested it could be a past life memory. I agreed…. it could have been. Later I came to the conclusion that it was a mixture of a past life memory and a symbolic review and forecast of my present life. 'Tis strange that these silent moments of seemingly nothing are never forgotten, as if a wonderful dream you had once that is remembered as if it was real. We've all had them… I know we have. Well here I was having them totally wide awake.
The next inner visions astounded me even more. After a little talking about sound and feelings I started to meditate again, instructed by my friend. Almost instantly I could see what I described as a Tibetan Monk sitting meditating in a monastery, in a circular room with large stone arched open windows. The floor was stone and I was either an Ant, a Spider or a Beetle crawling from behind the right side of the Monk and looking up at sort of a gigantic majestic sight. A Monk at the top of the world praying and meditating for all. Lot's of things went through my mind as to what it meant. In this inner vision I would only get to take a few steps and take a quick look before it would all disappear. I made it happen once more, but would end in the same place. My friend and his wife were impressed because Anon ( I'll call him Anon ) believed that he had lived such a life where he was a Tibetan Monk. I joked and said that I must have been there with him…. maybe. At the time I really didn't know what to think, I went with their ideas and thought maybe I had psychically picked that up from Anon. Though I did like the idea that I could have been Tibetan once, my Father told me we have Tibetan blood in us. The evening was still early, they had every kind of Spiritual music you could think of so we soon went on to the next session of meditation. The pictures came easy. This time I could see a sort of see through figure sitting on a stone which was also sort of see through. He sat there kind of wavering in the cosmic wind, he began motioning and gesturing with his hands. Couldn't make out his face and it seemed his eyes were closed. I couldn't understand what all the hand gestures could possibly mean and nor could Anon. Though Anon immediately began to tell me how lucky I was to be a visualizer and that I had just met my Spirit Guide. Now I'd heard it all. I couldn't believe Anon was telling me this. He then began telling me that I could ask questions of this Spirit Guide with my inner thoughts and that if I could sort out the answers given by the Guide from my own thoughts, then I would be on my way to learning anything I wanted. This was almost unbelievable for me, thankfully I have an open mind and was willing to explore some more. For the next ten weeks or so I learned things I'd never even remotely thought of. Since that day I still listen to and collect Spiritual music from all over the world. This type of music has changed my life. I still love Hendrix, The Doors and Ringo, Paul, John and George….. but I just don't listen to that anymore.
One striking thing stands out from those first few days of learning how to meditate. Right at this time I had a bad tooth, by the time the tooth became abscessed it was already the weekend and I couldn't get to a dentist. By the Saturday night I was in agony and couldn't sleep. When I did fall asleep, the pain would eventually wake me up again. By the time this happened, a couple of days after being introduced to the idea, I was pretty comfortable with the possibility of communicating with ones Spirit Guide. I wake up in pain for probably the third time, I decide to visualize the Guide. He comes immediately. I ask him about my pain with my inner thoughts. He waves his hands all over the place and does something to his nose and lip. I try to copy thinking this will relieve the pain. Nothing happens. I'm glad it's in the middle of the night and everybody is asleep, because I feel like a fool and yet at the same time, the inner vision/picture was clear enough to make me want to pay attention. James said, 'when you don't understand ask the Guide to show you again.' After a few tries I began to see very clearly that the Guide was pinching the skin under his neck, then holding with the tips of his fingers he began rapidly shaking that bit of loose skin. I understood, he was instructing me to do the same, obviously I thought, he wants me to do the same to the skin on my neck below the abscessed tooth. I fell asleep, woke up once more and did the same thing, I fell asleep again for the rest of the night. The following Monday at the dentist I told that little story. The dentist said, 'well that would have caused the abscess to leak and thus relieve it.' I was amazed.
Within six months I had virtually abandoned the meditation. As for the Spirit Guides…. 'well' I thought…. 'who knows.' Then I thought, 'well if it is true, then how will I be able to explain to people? How would I learn how to have discourse with these Spirit Guides?' It all seemed beyond my grasp. I let it all just drift out of my mind, but I did hold on to the new kind of music I was introduced to, and today have a great collection. My friend Anon moved away, I became more interested in other things and became a hermit of sorts, kept to myself for long periods of time. I sorted lots of things out during those years from '95 to '98. Also during this time, the new music affected myself and family in a very positive way.
During 1997 I developed a strong desire to write out things that I had been waiting for, things I thought for sure the UFO Community would write about. Never happened, I became frustrated with illogical conclusions as to what UFO's are and mean. I decided to see how I'd do at writing out what I thought. I wasn't impressed and gave up. Though those pages I wrote out then, I chose to eventually put on this web site in the category, ''UFO's and Aliens'' on page One.
Have patience, we'll get to the Reincarnation, I have to tell it this way because these were all the mechanisms that culminated to a ''Past Life Memory.''
On the 27th December, 1998 I decided that things had to change and that my way of thinking was not satisfactory, especially when considering all the knowledge I'd accumulated over the years from reading books. My present thinking wasn't good enough, I felt it was now time to apply what I knew, live the talk so to speak.
That decision was magical, because within a day or so, I began seeing something. Every time I closed my eyes, I would see what I thought at first, two Monks wrestling. They looked like Tibetan Monks or Zen Buddhists. I seemed to have no control over this, whenever I closed my eyes, there they were… wrestling. The first day of this I kept to myself, I thought it was just my imagination and that it would pass. I was totally quizzed when this persisted for the next several days, during which time I told my Son and even showed him the types of movements the Monks were making. This is when it dawned on me that they weren't wrestling, but rather, they were doing stretching and lifting exercises on one another. Turned out to be quite interesting. I decided the Spirit Guides I was introduced to in '95 were back! Also during this same time I could feel a powerful presence of my Father Eric. Dad passed away in 1990. I wasn't afraid, I wanted to keep these inner visions, and ''if'' I thought, I was just imagining and visualizing, then still I wanted to perpetuate this. I thought meditation would be a great way to keep my Dad and the inner visions around. Though I must admit, I quickly realized I really had no control over these inner visions. I began to accept them and just let them flow, and at the same time kept most of what I experienced to myself. It was all so strange and new. I would close my eyes and see Angels, male and female. I would see my Father, who was always smiling and surrounded by Doves and sometimes Angels, then sometimes enveloped in a sort of floral arrangement. Everything was beautiful. These inner pictures would make my hairs stand on end, I would get goose bumps and could feel nourishing energy surging through my body. I was well aware that this feeling was actually my Chakra's being activated and that during this sensational time I was receiving vital Universal positive energies of several different kinds. My Son and I now call this ''vital energy'' simply ''Chi.'' Sometimes spelt ''Qi.'' Anyway, this knowledge helped support my personal belief that these inner visions were real and that they were trying to tell me something. Many little stories were played out, some I understood, some I didn't. They all seemed very Spiritual, this had a profound affect in the way I now saw things in the real world. I began to treat myself and others differently, I became a little calmer, I began to even think better, books were easier to read, everything seemed much simpler. My beliefs as far as religion goes became much stronger.
You see, in our house we have no religion and attend any Church if and when we do. Though I was raised in England as a Presbyterian, this religion is not mine. Religion is good, Churches are good, I'm not saying they are not good. It's just that I take no single one to be mine. If I take one, then I must learn about them all to have an even better understanding. This I try and do. After all, they are available to just about everyone these days. In book stores. This was never possible in the old days. Even if it was, not nearly as many could read as we do in present day.
So the inner visions continued. I related a few to my wife Diana and Son Matthew. After a while they both became a little worried. This went on from December 27th 1998 and on through January and February of 1999. I had inner visions of Staffs, beautiful Swords, Panthers, Tigers, Swans, Leopards, Maiden like Angels bringing flowers and pictures. This sometimes would be as if watching a Play, but in silence. Everything I would see, would be laid out on a starry night, the action and pictures would all be in white. Sometimes everything is laid out as if on a white sheet of paper. Colour enters intermittently throughout all of this, depends on the inner vision I guess, never really thought about that.
By early February 1999 I also became slightly worried, but not as worried as the rest of my family. The inner visions were beautiful, I could feel my Father Eric’s presence so strongly ‘twas as if He was right there with me. I was more worried about how I was going to explain all this, I couldn’t find the proper words or something. Hard for people to accept I guess. Something one thinks to see only on TV or read about in an article or book. I do understand.
Anyway, I became more confused than worried, I really had no one to discuss these things with on a conversational level, on an analytical level by someone who knew about such things. My friend Anon had moved to another city and I had lost contact with him. At home it was me describing an experience and my family reacting with worried and puzzled glares. Especially when I told them that the Spirit Guides and Angels call me ‘’ZO.’’ I decided to look for a telephone number of a Herbalist that Anon had given me a few years prior. I knew an ordinary Doctor wouldn’t understand and if I went to a Psychiatrist he’d probably want to put me on Prozac or something. I found the number and phoned a Lady named Agath and made an appointment for the next Monday, February 8th 1999. I felt a little relieved, Anon had told me that Agath would psychically diagnose my health if I ever go. The day came I so much looked forward to, I arrived there about 11:00am that morning. I was welcomed by an Old Lady in Her seventies, Agath made me feel as if I’d known Her forever. I told Her what had been happening. Agath began assuring me that something wonderful was happening to me and that I shouldn’t worry. Agath began telling me about my Chakra’s, my Energy Centers, about Meditation and how real all this was. I broke down, here was some Old Lady I’d never met in my life, kind of acting like the inner visions, acceptance, understanding, knowing and thus a Teacher, a momentary Mentor. I finally felt totally free to talk about the inner visions without worrying one iota about being thought of as a nut case. I went home totally relieved and confident, I decided to go with my feelings no matter what. I began Meditating more, I started watching the inner visions more carefully. Meanwhile, that same day, I must have arrived home 12:30pm maybe 1:00pm from Agath’s, where I must admit again, I broke down and cried like a baby. At 5:00pm of that same day, Monday, February 8th 1999 I received a telephone call from my wife Diana’s Stepfather. Diana’s Mom had passed away between the hour’s of 12:00pm and 4:30pm very peacefully at home in an armchair. Up in Thompson, Manitoba. The next day, Tuesday, February 9th 1999 I received another telephone call and found out that my Mother in Calgary ( I lived in Winnipeg at the time. ) had been on the operating table during and around about those same hours between Noon and early afternoon of February 9th. Mom’s operation had gone fine. This was roughly in the same timeframe I was sobbing, and the same time Diana’s Mom passed away. ‘’Oh my God’’ I thought, something IS happening.
For the next few days I had several migraine headaches, something that hadn’t plagued me for years. Also for the next few days I began seeing the same inner vision, this vision would come exactly and only when I retired for bed. At the very same micro second I would close my eyes. This vision came for the next eight or nine days. This vision was of a Spirit Guide sitting in a Lotus position on a platform, He was translucent, His eyes closed, and tucked into His left arm, as if ready for the pen, He held what looked like a clipboard. In His right hand He held a pen as if writing on the clipboard, though the pen would never move. Every night I would describe to Diana what I was seeing and how real it all seemed. I told Her that the Spirit Guide was writing down all my thoughts and knew everything about me, knew all my past lives. That they were checking me out. This went on till about the 18th February 1999, every night up until that date I would describe the same thing to Diana and give my analysis. Diana had Her own idea’s, and was obviously bored with my assessments, She decided that the Spirit Guides were really trying to tell me that I should write. I rebelled, I wasn’t interested in writing, and anyway, I wasn’t all that pleased with my grammar.
I let Diana talk me into it thinking that the Guides just wanted me to make a few notes for a few days. The next day I started. It seemed the first thing the Guides wanted me to do was find the most insignificant word. I concluded that the WORD would be the word ''it.‘’ I almost immediately knew what they were getting at. They were telling me that this word ‘’it’’ was the name I was to give the well documented ‘’grey’’ alien. That I was to look at this word like a pictograph and from that I would understand many things. I did and I do.
I began writing words out in my head and making them spin, flip, rotate on hinges and anything else I could think of. I would devise my own methods of practicing. I would take a book and look at the cover for a while, memorize it. I then would close my eyes, picture the book and make it spin rapidly, stopping it abruptly, thus sometimes it would come to a standstill upside down with every detail in perfect upside down position. I practiced this until I could do it perfectly, stop it in any position. Within a few weeks I had compiled a stack of notes with poems, the alphabet written in a different way and attempts at making palindromes. ( Did not know the word ‘’Palindrome’’ at this time. ) My first palindromes were totally nuts, because I would make up words and convince myself that these words existed, either in an ancient language, or in a present day language. I would mix them in with real words and make palindromes. Not long after that, I came up with the palindrome, ‘’To idiot.’’ I laughed for three days. I began to wonder why the word, ‘’Grail’’ had the word ‘’liar’’ in the backward version. There must be a message here. After staring at the spine of a book that said, ‘’Holy Grail’’ on it for hours on end, I eventually saw the palindrome, ‘’Liar grey…….. Lo, Holy ER Grail.’’
Odic I’m so, Cosmic I do.
ZO.
Art by: Sheila Chin
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