Caitlin

You asked me to tell you my story. Well, I can, but I am no galliard and will not pretend to be one. So please, bear with me. My stories are not epic tales, merely the odd ramblings of a philodox.

Twenty years ago, I was born in Ireland, somewhere near Dublin. Perhaps that is why I do not possess the physical qualities of my sisters. But, don't get me wrong! I am just as much Black Fury as the rest of them.

My mother was one of the wisest women I know. She was a great theurge athro. Taught me the ways of the garou when I was still very young. She knew I was destined for greatness.

My father….well, what can I say about him? He's male and that's about all I will say about him since he is only male after all.

Yeah, yeah, Sean, I know I have to learn to be tolerant to males. Blah, blah. I put males in their place when need be and from what I briefly heard about my father from mother, I think he really doesn't need this much credit as it is.

Anyways, on to the things that matter…like me.

As I said, I was born in Ireland. From what I can remember, I have never been to the Amazon, although I would love to. Eventually, mother and I moved to the Scottish Isles to escape the troubles brewing in Ireland and to be with my mother's sisters who were there. That is where my childhood memories begin.

I was 5 when I had my first change. A male, Fianna adren had come to the caern, looking for my mother. I didn't know why to begin with. There were a few heated words and then he struck my mother. I got so angry. NO ONE struck my mother, let alone some male! Suddenly, I changed. I was no longer homid; I had fur and claws, claws that were extended. I stood in front of my mother, still somewhat dazed that I had changed. My mother was just as shocked as I was. I yelled at the male.

"This is dishonourable. Stop now." That came from somewhere deep within me. I sounded just like my alpha! He seemed almost as shocked, but was still angry and ready to fight mother.

"Get out of my way, cub!"

Now I was pissed off. "I am not a cub and you are dishonouring your tribe by striking an innocent!"

He glared at me, but he knew I was right. That's why he didn't hit me. That and he was scared of me! "Back down, cub, or I will have to move you!"

Males, they just don't know how to listen, especially to women.

I hit him at that point. He looked at me in shock and anger, ready to come after me when our pack showed up.

He backed down. "Now, leave and do not bother us again. Got me, male?"

He growled and eventually left. I later found out that he was accusing mother of breaking the litany. Misinformed male. I was thereafter called Fights for Justice.

For the next few years, I grew up under my mother's guidance and tutelage. She taught me things that I never even dreamed I would know.

Later on, I studied with one of the elder philodox on the caern. She taught me to be a judge and to determine what is right and just. Now I come to the part of my story I fear the most.

Yes, I sigh for the memories….but also for the pain, for the years that I was lost to the garou nation.

We went out on what we thought would be a simple raid. Fight the wyrm wherever it breeds and dwells, right? That is what we thought. Instead, we walked into a trap. None of us knew that and some of us paid for it with our lives.

Most of the fight is still a blur. The last thing I remember before I passed out was seeing my mother fall. I had no rage left. I was helpless to stop it. The next thing I remember is waking up on the caern. I had been severely injured and was lucky that Truth Bringer, my philodox mentor, was able to pull me away from the fight before I was killed. I asked where my mother was and I automatically saw the hurt in everyone's eyes.

"She is resting peacefully." I didn't understand what they meant.

"I wish to see my mother. Where is she?" I was a little stern with my plead, but I was desperate to know she was alright.

A sigh escaped from one of the elders. "Come with me, Caitlin," she said to me and I followed her.

Where she led me will forever haunt me. It was to the tomb where they had lain my mother's dead body. A hand squeezed my shoulder gently as emotions hit me like a steam train.

Suddenly, I was at my mother's side, tears streaming down my face. "Mother, please wake up. I need you here."

I knew she was dead, but I couldn't accept it.

I raised my head to the heavens. "Gaia, why have you done this? Why? I need her." The last words were barely audible whispers.

The elders practically had to carry me away. They had seen grief, but I was way passed that. Some said I was in harano. Maybe I was. I really didn't care about anything. All I wanted was my mother. Eventually, I couldn't take living on the caern and went out the house my mother had.

At first, many came to see me, to try and talk me into coming back to the caern with them. I refused them all. As time went on, few and few came to see me. I spent my time at the house, looking after the place. I think after 4 years, no one but Truth Bringer came to see me as she always did.

That brings me to Sean. I laugh at the memory of our first encounter.

I think it was about 1 in the morning he barges into the house. I didn't know who he was or anything and he was male, so I grabbed the nearest heavy object to me, a frying pan. I think that can sum up our relationship for almost a year. But, back to our meeting.

I remember thinking that he was a strange one. He asked me to eat breakfast with him the next morning. I could smell that he was a garou. That scared him somewhat. Then, almost like an indication of the future, we got into an argument. He said something about aiding the wyrm by not fighting and not paying tribute to my mother and tribe by being a coward. It was something along those lines, but point is he pissed me off and I hit him. For the first time in 4 years, I had cared enough about something to react. I was shocked but tried not to show it.

I knew instantly what I needed to do and so I accepted his offer to join him. I left a note for Truth Bringer, telling her that I was leaving, that I was no longer in harano and would visit her when I got the chance.

I still haven't been back, though I want to in the near future. I travelled with Sean, or Byrn as his garou name was back then (which really was funny to me), around until we ended up in Noctropolis.

We met our youngest packmate there. Well, actually, Sean found her. We nursed her back to health and she lives with us now. She is a very curious one and she is like a sister to me.

What? You think there is more to my story? Well, kind of.

Not long ago, I realized something. In the time that Sean and I had spent together, I have grown to love him. No, not like only a packmate or brother. I love him like I have never loved anyone before. I care so much about him and would protect him to the ends of the earth. Be advised, I uphold the litany to the bitter end and the litany has never been broken. I will not allow it. But love knows no boundaries or borders. I think it is Gaia's challenge to us, to see if we are faithful to her wishes.

You asked me to tell you my story and I have. I warned you that I was no galliard and that it may not be up to their standards in the epic story department. But it is a collection of my memories, a storage of information into who I am as a person and a member of the garou nation.

I am a fighter and a philodox and my name is Fights for Justice. And that is my story.

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Created by: Amanda Gaudet
Last Modified: April 6, 2003